4everalones Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 So I have been cleaning out search history on my laptop and I was shocked at the number of search queries of "how to get ex back". I was totally appalled; it looks like I have spent countless hours over the last two months searching the same things again and again. I don't know if these guides really work on not. So many people swear by them, and others say that they just use people at their most vulnerable states. Have they worked for any of you? I have not done anything stated in these guides except go NC and work on myself. The funny thing is that most of these guides state the same tips that people gave me here to move on: go complete NC, focus on yourself, be confident again, take care of yourself, date again, go out often and have fun, etc. It's kind of confusing and makes losing hope so much more difficult. Just wondering if people out there have done the same thing or am I just displaying an unhealthy obsessive behavior. Please share your experiences.
guest572 Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 I dont have much experience with this but my opinion is that if they want you back then they want you back. You can't control it. Yes, no contact probably does help. "How can I miss you when you won't go away?" But these "guides" are a waste of space.
Musing Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 Those guides help in the way that placebos and sugar pills help. Everything written in them is common knowledge. Time, no contact, focusing on yourself...all of these are the foundations of healing and always have been. The twist? By the time you dive head first into all of these practices, they become your new lifestyle away from your ex and you stop caring about getting him or her back. And I'd say about half the time, they do come back at some point. But by the time they do, the dumpee doesn't even care! Irony So do these guides work? They work to help you move on. They can always claim they've worked though. Because if your ex comes back before you've healed...then omg! Ex came back! Happy day. And if your ex didn't come back? Well you solider on with their advice and stop caring either way so "meh". Now, the books that say "Your ex with come back in 30 days or less!" or use spells or some crazy stuff...yeah no. Those never work. You can't will a person to do anything. If you could, life would be boring.
Author 4everalones Posted March 4, 2014 Author Posted March 4, 2014 You can't will a person to do anything. If you could, life would be boring. Oh how I wish I had this power, life would definitely not be boring for me hehe But yeah, it's true. These guides don't really help unfortunately. But when someone is miserable and desperate, they can do anything. I have spent countless hours reading, analyzing my ex's behavior after the breakup. He never came back, and I doubt he will. Such a waste of time. Oh well...!
guest572 Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 If the guide truly helps you to heal that is great, but I wonder how effective a guide would be when the overall aim is to win back your ex. You may "move on" but are always looking back to see if the ex is there. And OP, I am guilty of the same. I was looking at these guides and hoping.. But i stopped because I know we will never be back together and it was hurting me more.
Musing Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 And OP, I am guilty of the same. I was looking at these guides and hoping.. But i stopped because I know we will never be back together and it was hurting me more. Pretty much the same on my end. I know it's over and that thought makes me ill in some ways. In weak moments I still google. But in all honesty, for my healing personally I feel like they set me back by giving me hope and helping keep my ex on my mind.
Musing Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 But yeah, it's true. These guides don't really help unfortunately. But when someone is miserable and desperate, they can do anything. I have spent countless hours reading, analyzing my ex's behavior after the breakup. He never came back, and I doubt he will. Such a waste of time. Oh well...! Oh OP I know this feel, I really do. We wish and hope those guides will help but in the end they are only mere letters on a screen. The authors don't actually know your ex or situation or the future. It is indeed frustrating
Author 4everalones Posted March 4, 2014 Author Posted March 4, 2014 I was looking at these guides and hoping.. But i stopped because I know we will never be back together and it was hurting me more. Yeah, same for me. I have been in no contact for a month, but the hope kept increasing when I was reading these guides. I broke no contact after a month and I met my ex. That was the biggest mistake I've made! It's sad and pathetic that I still want to get my ex back even though I know he doesn't care about me at all and it's sad that there are people out there who are taking advantage of people's weaknesses.
guest572 Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 Its not sad and pathetic at all. I am still having false hope that he will change his mind if i cease contact for a couple of months.. I dont see why, it will make no difference to his decision. 1
Recommended Posts