SpringBaby Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 This is my first time posting, in fact I joined this forum just to ask about this guy. We met online, not a dating site (Meetup.com) and got familiar really quickly, there was no sexting or anything just deep conversation, flirting of course , and getting to know you talk. We talked and/or texted daily for about 2 weeks and we were into each other. He would even check in after work some days. He did tell me he was shy and intimidated by me for different reasons. But I was the one who initiated contact with him so I assured him that meant I was interested. We met for a first date 3 weeks after we first starting talking and had a great date, honestly, the best date I had ever been on. I could tell he was a little nervous at first. After a while he loosened up. During the end of the date he said he wanted me to know that he was interested. We were affectionate, held hands, he called me sexy, I called him hot, we laughed and joked, and had a really nice series of kisses at the end . Then after the date, everything slowed down. I thought he wasn't into me after he met me (which didn't make sense due to the date we had) but I was ready to accept that. The day after the date, I sent 1 text saying "You must have gotten very busy, have a great day though." To which he replied with 6 texts explaining what happened, etc. I took that as a sign to resume regular conversation but it didn't feel like it felt before. I left it alone and didn't text him again. 3 days later he texts me to see what I was up to. It's been a month since our first conversation. He has yet to mention the first date and only hinted at a second. I have no idea what all of this means. I'm wondering if he thought he came on too strong, but I don't want to be the one to bring it up. He didn't, for the record, but he seemed like he thought he did. I really like him and I thought that came across but I'm going to let him pursue me. Does he sound like he's playing games or is there something else is going on? Thanks in advance.
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 I would normally say play every game in the book but I think u need to be upfront with him.. Strong possibility he's waiting on u x 1
MrMeh Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 Aren't you playing games by being idle? Why don't you text him and ease the topic of the conversation towards the relationship. Also, I would recommend actually talking on the phone to avoid any ambiguity. 1
spiderowl Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 I'm sure if he wanted to maintain contact and date you, he would have let you know by now. He would have been in touch, if only tentatively. Unless he has been run over by a steam train, I would wait until he has the guts to get in touch. After all, do you really want a guy that is incapable of doing that? 1
Andy_K Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 If he's as shy as it sounds, then there's a good chance he's afraid of rejection and not used to asking girls out on dates. You might well have to make the move here. If he's interested you'll find out pretty soon. 1
Author SpringBaby Posted March 5, 2014 Author Posted March 5, 2014 (edited) By the way that was supposed to say "Confused by new guy" not sure what happened. Spiderowl, he has contacted me since our date but it was just less than we were talking before and I didn't get it. MrMeh, I wouldn't say I was playing games but I'm not in the habit of giving anyone more than I am getting in return. But since he has contacted me I'm going to see where it goes. Edited March 5, 2014 by SpringBaby
StanMusial Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 I thought you meant "bye, new guy". As in "Goodbye". 1
HappyLove Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 I'd say he's not that interested.....BUT..... what have you got to loose? I'm with you OP I don't give more than you're giving me but at least he did try texting again. Plus texts suck, we depend on and read way too much into them. Hey, like I said before....what have you got to lose? Even if it turns out he's not interested at least you can say you tried and move on to the next. It sounds like you really like him so why not?
Vyliss Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Did you guys meet up in person BEFORE this date? Or was the getting to know you conversations all via text? Sounds like he's a little undecided.. he likes you but not crazy about you or anything. If you're really into him, ask him out! Sometimes you need to give a guy more reasons to like you if you guys haven't spent enough time together.
Author SpringBaby Posted March 5, 2014 Author Posted March 5, 2014 HappyLove I hear you, I like your thinking. I don't have a thing to lose. Vyliss no we didn't meet in person and we had both phone conversations and texts. Thank you both for your advice. But actually I found it that his problem is more due to being intimidated by me than anything else. He had mentioned different things like my business and my looks saying he felt like he was "out of his league" and I tried to reassure him. I remember one of the strongest reactions he had during the date was that I told him I have a Mercedes (after he asked). I don't know if he thinks he can't afford me or something but I'm not like that at all. I was never given anything (material) in life, it came through prayer, sacrifice and hard work and people, including this guy, don't know this. And I didn't even tell him my whole story yet, I always try to downplay everything for the man's sake and I don't have masculine energy, for the record. I like humble, low key guys like him but they just need to be more confident. The second strongest reaction was when I told him I was really moving closer to him. (We live 2 hours apart, I contacted him because he lives in the county I was ALREADY moving to). I didn't bring it up during the date, he did, and he seemed really excited about it. All that said, I find his demeanor refreshing albeit annoying but I'm going to give him the best chance I can offer him.
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