ExposedBrick Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 I went out with a very attractive woman on Saturday night. She seemed like a relatively anxious person, not making consistent eye contact, nervously laughing from time to time. The date ended up lasting quite long. We met at a bar and had several drinks. Unfortunately, I ordered some stronger drinks than expected and ended up relatively drunk by the end of the evening. I joined her in a cab ride home and thought I was just going to walk her to her place. However when we got there I ended up coming into her apartment. We made out a little and I ended up staying the night, but we had no sex. Throughout the course of the night, she mentioned she brushes her teeth a lot, like 5+ times a day. She also mentioned she is afraid to drive after a traumatic car accident a few years ago. She seems like she might have a few screws loose. However, she is very attractive and I was pretty drunk by the end of the night. She expressed that we should hang out again, but I'm not really trusting my instincts either way. I thought about maybe another sober date. Any thoughts or suggestions? How do you figure out if someone is shy/anxious vs. in need of some help for OCD?
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 Does it really matter if she brushes her teeth several times a day... can u not weigh it up... is she worth it? x I have OCD and the last thing I want is people picking up on it or saying anything and if they wanna walk away then they should because I know what sort of person I am and if they cant see beyond that and miss out on the person underneath then thats their loss xx get to know the girl underneath before u make a judgement xx
ctxinfl Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 Any thoughts or suggestions? How do you figure out if someone is shy/anxious vs. in need of some help for OCD? You see her again so you can get to know her better. I'd be surprised if we aren't all OCD in some ways. 1
Author ExposedBrick Posted March 3, 2014 Author Posted March 3, 2014 Does it really matter if she brushes her teeth several times a day... can u not weigh it up... is she worth it? x I have OCD and the last thing I want is people picking up on it or saying anything and if they wanna walk away then they should because I know what sort of person I am and if they cant see beyond that and miss out on the person underneath then thats their loss xx get to know the girl underneath before u make a judgement xx Is there anything I can do to help her seem more relaxed or natural? She just seemed painfully nervous. I work with people all day, so I have the benefit of lots of experience conversing with strangers.
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 No theres nothing u can do apart from see her more and she will probably relax around u... give it time she might just turn out to be a little cracker x
Author ExposedBrick Posted March 3, 2014 Author Posted March 3, 2014 No theres nothing u can do apart from see her more and she will probably relax around u... give it time she might just turn out to be a little cracker x What is a "cracker"? How much time is appropriate to give?
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 "cracker" - cracking girl ! x Maybe say 2 months ... I really dont think u should give up on her just yet... x Once u get through the exterior u may well be very pleasantly surprised x
mammasita Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 I think we're all a bit OCD in our own way also. I can't leave dirty dishes in the sink before I go to bed. I have to vacuum my floors twice a day. Will I function if I skip a day? Yes. My thought is if she's truly OCD and I mean debilitating OCD where it interferes with her daily functions and how she interacts with people...for example, she can't go out with you because she only brushed her teeth 3 times, then you have to decide if thats something you want to deal with. And who cares if she's really attractive. Crazy doesn't care how good she looks.
Author ExposedBrick Posted March 3, 2014 Author Posted March 3, 2014 "cracker" - cracking girl ! x Maybe say 2 months ... I really dont think u should give up on her just yet... x Once u get through the exterior u may well be very pleasantly surprised x That seems like a long time to determine if we click or not. I'm not an intimidating person. I did meet her via OLD. How do I know if I've become too scrutinizing?
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 We all have our little OCDs just some are more obvious than others... just see her a bit more and see what happens just dont think u should write her off just yet x OCD can be brought on by a extreme event but still the same person underneath x Give it a shot and if it becomes too much for u then walk away but its def worth a try I think x
Author ExposedBrick Posted March 3, 2014 Author Posted March 3, 2014 And who cares if she's really attractive. Crazy doesn't care how good she looks. I'm not sure how to interpret this. Do you mean: if she's attractive, who cares about the craziness? I just thought it was a bit peculiar for someone to spill the beans as such right away about some rather personal things. I guess she could have just been nervous.
mammasita Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 I'm not sure how to interpret this. Do you mean: if she's attractive, who cares about the craziness? I just thought it was a bit peculiar for someone to spill the beans as such right away about some rather personal things. I guess she could have just been nervous. I mean that crazy is crazy......attractive is irrelevant. She could have been a little buzzed herself. I get a little loose and talkative after a couple drinks. 1
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 I mean that crazy is crazy......attractive is irrelevant. She could have been a little buzzed herself. I get a little loose and talkative after a couple drinks. Im terrible for that too ! lol x
Author ExposedBrick Posted March 3, 2014 Author Posted March 3, 2014 My thought is if she's truly OCD and I mean debilitating OCD where it interferes with her daily functions and how she interacts with people...for example, she can't go out with you because she only brushed her teeth 3 times, then you have to decide if thats something you want to deal with. Any idea at how to get to the bottom of this? She might just be an anxious person in general which is also hard to figure out.
mammasita Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 Any idea at how to get to the bottom of this? She might just be an anxious person in general which is also hard to figure out. All you can do is give her a chance, hang out a few times. Unfortunately you probably won't know the real deal truth until much later.
Author ExposedBrick Posted March 3, 2014 Author Posted March 3, 2014 All you can do is give her a chance, hang out a few times. Unfortunately you probably won't know the real deal truth until much later. I just agreed to hang out with her again. Now, I can't help but feel like this was a mistake. My inner self is signaling a red flag, should I just cancel?
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 NO!!!! x it could be nothing more than nerves... give the girl a chance ! x see her again if u arent happy after that then stop seeing her but give her that chance... let us know how it goes xx
Author ExposedBrick Posted March 3, 2014 Author Posted March 3, 2014 NO!!!! x it could be nothing more than nerves... give the girl a chance ! x see her again if u arent happy after that then stop seeing her but give her that chance... let us know how it goes xx She seemed pretty anxious the whole time. She's probably just an anxious person. I'd like to give her a chance, but I have a stake in things too. Why should I give her a chance? She had a whole night to relax.
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 Maybe she just got a bit too tiddly... it is worth one last shot... u will only keep wondering if u dont try it... u never know she might be the girl u end up marrying ! x go on do it some people do get nervous the first time... xx
Author ExposedBrick Posted March 3, 2014 Author Posted March 3, 2014 Maybe she just got a bit too tiddly... it is worth one last shot... u will only keep wondering if u dont try it... u never know she might be the girl u end up marrying ! x go on do it some people do get nervous the first time... xx Regardless if she was nervous, she did mention two things in one night she experiences a high level of anxiety towards. While having anxiety is an a medical condition that can be accepted, I don't necessarily know that I should be thinking about this stuff after one date. To me, it signals she may not be under enough control to have a healthy relationship at this point.
Author ExposedBrick Posted March 3, 2014 Author Posted March 3, 2014 Maybe she just got a bit too tiddly... it is worth one last shot... u will only keep wondering if u dont try it... u never know she might be the girl u end up marrying ! x go on do it some people do get nervous the first time... xx I'll have to just try to tactfully cancel. Its really not my position to judge a person's mental status after a single date.
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 U do what u feel is right for u thats all u can do but there could be a multitude of reasons for it and u will never know unless u try once more :-) x
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