Silver93 Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 I have never masturbated and all though I find myself sexually frustrated, I refrain due to my faith. I am devout Catholic. What I wanted to know is, is masturbation good for you? Does it prevent prostate cancer? I would like some opinions from a Religious angle.
pickflicker Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 (edited) Well, I'm not much for religion, but if there is a God, why would He make our bodies so pleasurable if He didn't want us to have fun with them? Masturbation is extremely healthy for a man's prostate, and more importantly, a key step in discovering your own sexuality, what you like, and what don't like. The sexual repression that is such a feature of your particular religion is created by men with the express purpose of controlling the natural desires of people. There is nothing "divine" about it. Believe me, God is way more concerned with you just treating other people with kindness and respect. I say, masturbate away. Good luck. Edited March 3, 2014 by pickflicker 7
Author Silver93 Posted March 3, 2014 Author Posted March 3, 2014 Well, I'm not much for religion, but if there is a God, why would He make our bodies so pleasurable if He didn't want us to have fun with them? Masturbation is extremely healthy for a man's prostate, and more importantly, a key step in discovering your own sexuality, what you like, and what don't like. The sexual repression that is such a feature of your particular religion is created by men with the express purpose of controlling the natural desires of people. There is nothing "divine" about it. Believe me, God is way more concerned with you just treating other people with kindness and respect. I say, masturbate away. Good luck. Thanks for your advice. I know some people in my faith that say it is ok while others say not. Seeing as though I have never done it, I would be very nervous about doing it and possibly going over board with it.
pickflicker Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 Thanks for your advice. I know some people in my faith that say it is ok while others say not. Seeing as though I have never done it, I would be very nervous about doing it and possibly going over board with it. You can't go overboard. It's all designed for it. You'll be fine.
TaraMaiden Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 The secret is to find a happy medium. There's nothing wrong with masturbation. It's when it becomes obsessive, that it's harmful. The same goes for abstention. if you feel comfortable, content and serene about abstaining, then there's nothing unhealthy about that. If however, it becomes an oppressive obligation, which leaves you feeling frustrated (and I don't just mean sexually, I also mean from a psychological, attitude PoV) then, abstention is just as harmful as excessiveness. It's like being addicted. if whatever you're doing becomes a focus, and preys on your mind, so much so that it's hard to think about anything else - then it's not good for you. 3
Author Silver93 Posted March 3, 2014 Author Posted March 3, 2014 I have always thought of a sexual encounter being with the woman you love so I think that if I we're to start masturbating then I would then start craving female interaction. How does MB help with your sexuality?
TaraMaiden Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 It helps you establish a sense of what you enjoy, and how you like to be handled. It gives you an opportunity to experience pleasure, and come to know your body better. Sex - is natural. Pleasure - is natural. Enjoyment - is natural. Quit thinking that everything you may like, is sinful. It isn't. 1
jba10582 Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 whatever you're doing becomes a focus, and preys on your mind, so much so that it's hard to think about anything else - then it's not good for you. I don't want to change the course of this thread, but since it is in the spiritual section, and, other than the semantics "preys on your mind", I would say that focus in other context is a product of the mind itself. Can you please explain this in other context, is there a Buddhist basis or something? I would say some of the greatest scientific and other discoveries would happen with a focused mindset.
TaraMaiden Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 I don't want to change the course of this thread, but since it is in the spiritual section, and, other than the semantics "preys on your mind", I would say that focus in other context is a product of the mind itself. Can you please explain this in other context, is there a Buddhist basis or something? I would say some of the greatest scientific and other discoveries would happen with a focused mindset. Attachment is a huge problem in Buddhism, insofar as 'dukkha' is concerned. It is the second Noble Truth. We do not 'suffer' because of the things we love/hate. We suffer because of our insistent 'attachment to them. Wanting things, like first prize in a singing competition, is not a bad thing. Obsessing about it, and gloating if you win, or being a sore loser if you don't - are the problems. Disliking a specific experience, or process, is natural. Obsessing about it, being melodramatic and not permitting the matter to drop, but indulging in a personal pity party crusade - is. Attachment to a specific ideal, is what leads us to mental anxiety. 1
GorillaTheater Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 What reasons have you been given by the leaders of your faith for not masturbating? You know what the story of Onan WASN'T about, right?
jba10582 Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 I did see that mentioned...still need to finish the world religion book. I kind of related to the focus mentioned, in other ways as getting through some difficult classes or having to work on difficult projects in the past...and haven't been far from attachment to them, as I am glad they are in the past... I would not have been able to complete (satisifacatorily) without an almost extreme level of focus, and even in that context it leads to stress and is probably not completely healthy.. Sorry if this took the discussion out of context, and thanks for clarifying what you meant.
Author Silver93 Posted March 3, 2014 Author Posted March 3, 2014 It helps you establish a sense of what you enjoy, and how you like to be handled. It gives you an opportunity to experience pleasure, and come to know your body better. Sex - is natural. Pleasure - is natural. Enjoyment - is natural. Quit thinking that everything you may like, is sinful. It isn't. One of my biggest problems is my Religious OCD. It affects everything I do throughout my day and it makes it very hard to go against anything I may have read or heard relating to my Religion. It is no one's fault, it is a mental illness. It can be really hard to deal with at times.
TaraMaiden Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 Are you in discussion about this with your therapist?
GorillaTheater Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 One of my biggest problems is my Religious OCD. It affects everything I do throughout my day and it makes it very hard to go against anything I may have read or heard relating to my Religion. It is no one's fault, it is a mental illness. It can be really hard to deal with at times. Tough road. I imagine getting contradictory information must drive you batsh*t. 2
Allumere Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 The bible does not say anything specifically about masturbation. Where the lines get drawn on whether it is sinful or not is in regards to how/why. If masturbating to porn or a fantasy, that would be on the sinful side as those would be lustful thoughts. If no fantasy and strictly a physical release, not so much. Some argue it would be better to have the release rather then engage in sex before marriage BUT the argument then becomes that one needs to be master of their own flesh verses the other way around.
TaraMaiden Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 Phekkin' religion WILL complicate everything - if we let it......!
Author Silver93 Posted March 3, 2014 Author Posted March 3, 2014 What reasons have you been given by the leaders of your faith for not masturbating? You know what the story of Onan WASN'T about, right? To be honest I don't know much on this topic. I have read articles saying that it is wrong to spill seed.
Author Silver93 Posted March 3, 2014 Author Posted March 3, 2014 Are you in discussion about this with your therapist? I am and it is helping but I find myself slipping back into my problems at time. Tough road. I imagine getting contradictory information must drive you batsh*t. It is really tough and it can be really difficult hearing different info. The bible does not say anything specifically about masturbation. Where the lines get drawn on whether it is sinful or not is in regards to how/why. If masturbating to porn or a fantasy, that would be on the sinful side as those would be lustful thoughts. If no fantasy and strictly a physical release, not so much. Some argue it would be better to have the release rather then engage in sex before marriage BUT the argument then becomes that one needs to be master of their own flesh verses the other way around. I know what ya mean. I would never use porn and I would try not to fantasize. I have also heard that spilling seed is a sin.
GorillaTheater Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 To be honest I don't know much on this topic. I have read articles saying that it is wrong to spill seed. Allumere had some good stuff to say on the subject, but the deal with Onan "spilling his seed" on the ground was the fact he didn't "do his duty" by his deceased bother's wife. Under the law at that time and place, he had a duty to give his dead brother an heir. So, he apparently and happily enough had sex with his sister-in-law, but pulled out right before ejaculating (masturbation isn't even part of the story). God pushed the smite button because Onan violated Levirate law and failed to follow instructions, not because of masturbation.
Author Silver93 Posted March 3, 2014 Author Posted March 3, 2014 Allumere had some good stuff to say on the subject, but the deal with Onan "spilling his seed" on the ground was the fact he didn't "do his duty" by his deceased bother's wife. Under the law at that time and place, he had a duty to give his dead brother an heir. So, he apparently and happily enough had sex with his sister-in-law, but pulled out right before ejaculating (masturbation isn't even part of the story). God pushed the smite button because Onan violated Levirate law and failed to follow instructions, not because of masturbation. I see what ya mean. I suffer from other forms of OCD as well so I feel like my brain is always on. I do feel that it would be easier to stay away from masturbation for my peace of mind at least whether it is right or wrong. Is it true that it helps prevent prostate cancer. I have heard some people say it actually increase it in young men but prevents it in men over 50.
TaraMaiden Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 I am and it is helping but I find myself slipping back into my problems at time. This to me is a red flag; I get the impression that you off-load onto your therapist, and vent, and bare your feelings - but then you do nothing productive or proactive to actually address what ails you. Therefore, you're getting nowhere, because you don't even seem to be trying to challenge your problem; you just announce it's there. Does your therapist give you objectives? Do they guide you by pointing out solutions, or things you could do, to help yourself? Do they 'give you homework' to accomplish over a period of time, between sessions, maybe? Good post, GT.... so many people - including many so called 'bible-thumpers' - get that wrong.... 1
Author Silver93 Posted March 3, 2014 Author Posted March 3, 2014 This to me is a red flag; I get the impression that you off-load onto your therapist, and vent, and bare your feelings - but then you do nothing productive or proactive to actually address what ails you. Therefore, you're getting nowhere, because you don't even seem to be trying to challenge your problem; you just announce it's there. Does your therapist give you objectives? Do they guide you by pointing out solutions, or things you could do, to help yourself? Do they 'give you homework' to accomplish over a period of time, between sessions, maybe? Good post, GT.... so many people - including many so called 'bible-thumpers' - get that wrong.... My therapist has been a great help. We haven't really touched on these kind of topics yet, we have been working on the everyday small stuff. There are so many of them that it can be hard to keep up the work. I find a lot of my problems are related to sexual stuff because I would consider myself quite a sexual person.
Allumere Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 Phekkin' religion WILL complicate everything - if we let it......! LOL....we don't get to have fun
taiko Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 As I read it form Catholic blogs and apologist sites the Catholic church has not declared masturbation a mortal sin because of Onan failing to do his duty to his brother's widow and defying God. Or because of lust and that sin but rather they have declared by a overall reading of all canonized scripture that every sexual act must end with a husband attempting to ejaculate into his wife's unprotected vagina thus making a baby at least possible in theory
angel.eyes Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 OP, as Christians, we often grapple with how to live our life in a way that aligns with our faith and our love of God. While God provides clear guidance on the importance of sex in a marital relationship, His stance that sex outside marriage is sin, and the imperative to look for other believers as marriage partners, the Bible is silent on other topics of concern to many single Christians--dating, holding hands, kissing, making out, masturbating, etc. As a result, you'll see Christians draw the line in different places. God created us as sexual beings. The first allusion to sex is in Genesis 2:24-5. Our sexuality in the proper context is good. Genesis 3 deals with our fall from grace. Central to that was the deception that we would somehow miss out if we followed God's guidance and that God was lying to us. For me, the lesson is a reminder to follow God's guidance. Assuming I or others somehow know best when God's will for me is at odds with some temptation I desire in the moment, is simply Satan trying to lead me astray. So, what is OK? In general, I try to answer these types of questions for myself in the larger context of what God, in His infinite wisdom, intends for us. And then I try to see how that lines up with other Christians' opinions. My advice would be to pray for guidance, read the Bible carefully, and speak with a range of Christians in your community whose faith you respect, who know you well. Other resources you might find helpful: Real Sex: The Naked Truth about Chastity. I just finished reading this book. Although the focus is on chastity and marital fidelity in the context of Christian faith, it addresses masturbation briefly a few times. S1NGLE - God's Gifts : Our Plan on Livestream. I attended this conference over the weekend. At the end of his talk in the afternoon session, Tim Keller had a few moments left, so he spoke off the cuff about masturbation and pornography, and some of the challenges that can result when the person then attempts to have a relationship with another person. I keep coming across references to Lewis Smedes' book, Sex for Christians. Apparently, that's a classic resource. It's next on my reading list. 2
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