desperategirl Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 I was talking to a friend about the latest dating disaster I had, and he asked me how I get though so many men. I have dated about ten or so men in the last year, adding up to about 40 dates. None of these situations have gone anywhere. Does that sound like a lot? Does that sound like i am doing something wrong? I would have been interested to take at least a couple of these situations further, but I guess the guy wasn't. Another complication. I am kind of in love with a guy who is a friend. I have mentioned him on dates, not that I like him, but just like, "oh yeah, I have a friend who does that..." or whatever, if it is relevant. Could that be an issue? Just starting to wonder now if that really IS a lot of guys to date unsucessfilly?
Leigh 87 Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 I personally find men who are interested in me for roughly every 2 - 3 guys I come across. I am not particularly attractive or successful on paper but yeah, some people just have better sparks more easily with more men. It is not necessarily you at all. My model friend has a better personality than me and she is obviously way better looking yet she just doesn't feel chemistry or sparks with many men; and yes she goes for average guys she isn't that vain. If you don't have a big nose, you're not obese, you don't have a really obvious skin condition and your teeth are not a mess, then I would say that it all comes down to your personality and your ability to feel and to garner the romantic "spark" out of men.
melell Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 I really am not sure, but I don't think there is any stats to say 1 in 10 dates/guys will end in a successful relationship. If anything I would think it would be quite the opposite. If you were my friend, and kept me in the loop about the dates, nope- I wouldn't think it sounded like a lot. It is hard to say if you were doing anything wrong without a lot of info though. If you are in love with a guy friend then you might want to address that... but I doubt mentioning a friend would put someone off. It wouldn't put me off if I were on a date.
Conners Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 I think you answered your own question. You are in love with someone else which prevents you from properly moving into a successful relationship. It's like when you go through a break-up. You shouldn't date seriously again until you are healed and over your ex. I for example don't picture myself with anyone else long term EVER AGAIN. I know that's because i'm still in love with my ex. Once i'm over him I'm sure I can move on a lot easier. 1
acrosstheuniverse Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 No, there's nothing wrong with you. While single this time around I dated maybe... 12-13 guys (ranging from a coffee shop one-off date to several dates) before I met someone i wanted to be with. Every time I went on a date my male friend would be like 'so, did this one work out? No? Oh, sorry...' almost as though he thought I was going into every date with the hopes that I could make him into a boyfriend. That wasn't the case at all, I was just having fun dating and if it didn't progress further then 9/10 it was because I didn't want it to as I didn't feel the spark. So, no, dating ten guys isn't a lot. Now, if you had liked every one of those guys and wanted them and every one of them had turned you down for a relationship I might wonder if you were doing /saying anything in particular to turn every one of them off. But it doesn't sound like that's the case.
ExpatInItaly Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 I think this depends on why things haven't worked out so far. Are you comparing them to a friend you're in love with? Are you secretly holding out hope the friend feels the same way about you? Are the guys the ones who are walking?
Author desperategirl Posted March 3, 2014 Author Posted March 3, 2014 I think this depends on why things haven't worked out so far. Are you comparing them to a friend you're in love with? Are you secretly holding out hope the friend feels the same way about you? Are the guys the ones who are walking? I think that I am interested more than the guys in some of the cases, other times, there's no spark, and neither of us are. The situation with the friend is complicated. There is something there - we have spoken about it but circumstances are difficult at the moment due to him living abroad. Prolly I am holding out hope.
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