runaway Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 I'm a 25 year old guy who has never had a girlfriend. In high school, I was too shy to even say hi to girls i liked. Starting junior year of college, i started getting some attention from girls. Lots of makeout sessions, hookups here and there. NO GIRLFRIEND. Got to professional school, have met even more girls. Numerous dates and more hookups, still no girlfriend. I've always wanted a girlfriend and still wonder what it's like to have one. Recently met a very attractive girl through a close friend from college. The night I met her at a party we kinda hit it off instantly. We talked for a bit. Conversation flowed nicely. We were so perfect together on the dancefloor, and she kissed me, which my friend said he had not seen her do in public. I liked the fact that she had a lot of great qualities I look for in a potential partner. My buddy described her as an awesomee girl/good friend. The situation looked so damn good. However, i might have made a huge mistake. Sent her a text the following day to tell her it was nice to meet her and stuff. She was nonresponsive for two weeks but i was able to set up a dinner date. It was cool but the vibe i got from her wasnt the same as the vibe i got when i met her for the first time. Tried to set up another date but shes being cold. My guess is that i was too predictable and easy to read. Because of numerous dating failures ive had, i usually try to set my expectations very low. However, I decided to actively find the solution to my problem after my most recent dating failure. Felt as though i blew a golden opportunity, and i gotta admit i am kicking myself in the head. Ive decided that i am clueless when it comes to dating and female psychology, so i just bought a book written by corey wayne. Its really interesting. Took me a long time to actually seek help/knowledge. Has anyone benefitted a lot from reading those books on dating, relationships, etc. Please share stories with me.
shakenbake9 Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 I'm curious as to why you have been relationship-less. I am 26 years old and have had relationships. I was extremely shy in high school. I came out of my 'shell' in college and have had 2 relationships last over a year each. I have also dated a number of people. You could have been too available. Everyone likes hard to get--sending a text the next day was not a wrong move. That was nice. Explain more of how you approach women...
melell Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 Honestly, I think reading about it is a good thing. Based on my experiences as a female, I notice that relationship opportunities are much easier for me to come across than they are for my male friends. I also notice that in being approached- some guys have me seriously considering it, while with others I would never consider it. I thought about this a lot because I couldn't find any reason why I was more likely to consider one over the other, when in almost every respect they were the same. This made me think that regardless of what you have to offer, how attractive you are etc etc, the way it is approached is really important. I don't understand it all, even my own female psychology, so don't feel bad that it hasn't worked out so far- i Approach is a big part of it, learning about it is a great idea.
Author runaway Posted March 3, 2014 Author Posted March 3, 2014 I'm curious as to why you have been relationship-less. I am 26 years old and have had relationships. I was extremely shy in high school. I came out of my 'shell' in college and have had 2 relationships last over a year each. I have also dated a number of people. You could have been too available. Everyone likes hard to get--sending a text the next day was not a wrong move. That was nice. Explain more of how you approach women... i'm curious as well. I am really trying to figure out by reading books. I think I am pretty good at attracting girls initially. Some have told me I am a pretty good-looking guy. However, I often seem to have a hard time getting past 2nd and 3rd dates. I have had several FWBs but never had a girlfriend.
soccerrprp Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 However, i might have made a huge mistake. Sent her a text the following day to tell her it was nice to meet her and stuff. She was nonresponsive for two weeks but i was able to set up a dinner date. It was cool but the vibe i got from her wasnt the same as the vibe i got when i met her for the first time. Tried to set up another date but shes being cold. My guess is that i was too predictable and easy to read. No idea what went wrong, if anything. "...and stuff." What other stuff did you tell her? What exactly or how exactly did the dinner date go? Was there smooth conversation, was she pissy from the start? What happened? Felt as though i blew a golden opportunity, and i gotta admit i am kicking myself in the head. No idea from what you shared what opportunity you blew and how. Has anyone benefitted a lot from reading those books on dating, relationships, etc. Please share stories with me. Never have read such books and reluctantly will b/c my gf wants me to so we can share/talk about relationships, etc. But they have helped a lot of people. Go for it, it can't hurt.
Mo_Do Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 Sounds like she only wanted a hook-up and you wanted a GF. It happens - keep looking.
JungleLover Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 Sounds like you are pretty much there except for one thing; you probably care about it too much. Let me put it another way, when you really truly stop giving a damn about not having a girlfriend and making it to date number 3, you will turn a corner. Ease up on the books. There are a lot of guys out there that are great at making money off of another man's insecurities and making a person believe that can become someone they simply cannot be. I am not saying don't study up on this, just don't become obsessed with it. It can cause more problems than solve. 1
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