loveiswar101 Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 Guys been a while, been really struggling of late. I can't stop texting my ex, worst is she just replies and I know it's just through her nature of kindness. Issue is I know maybe from her side it stalkerish. Still 3 months on I still think of her all the time even though I know she wants nothing to do with me. Please help...Any advise to stop this craziness I would appreciate. Thanks 1
Strength in Healing Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 If you have an iphone, block her number. Same with android. I mean, you realize it is coming off stalkerish and can't stop? You gotta knock some sense into yourself! When you get the urge, go jogging. When you get the urge, scream into a pillow. When you get the urge, text someone else!
Author loveiswar101 Posted March 4, 2014 Author Posted March 4, 2014 Update.. Text her asked her out for dinner, after a few texts we agreed a night. Then thought what the F**k am I doing? So text her saying that the only reason I want to go to dinner is to talk and see if we can give us one more try. Now up to then she had been texting back an forth but didn't get back to me until 8.30. Now I'm pretty sure she wanted to run it through her friend who was at work. Any how her reply was " At this moment I can only offer friendship and dinner would be fine if we go as friends. But otherwise I don't want to hurt your feeling and maybe if best not do dinner if this is so" Something like that, have since deleted. Anyhow I replied. "Many thanks for the offer the friendship but i can't do friendship when I have so many feelings and desire for you. Give us a ring if you change your mind down track" END. Ironically I then get a text 20 mins later from my mate who is dating her best friend, we had a run in a while ago and haven't spoke. Yet he texts me apologizing (he never says sorry) and hoping we can sort things out. Why ? He's dating her best friend, we can't be friends ? can we? every time i see him I will be thinking of my ex ! Shame but we have been good friends for 6-7 years and met the 2 girls same night. I need to get a grip and move on ! So today is day one i guess of trying NC AGAIN. With her and I guess my old mate !
Omei Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 My guess is he's texting you because his gf told him about how her friend keeps being text by you so now he's gonna lighten the load and try to be there for you... Stop all contact please you only hurt yourself you already know you can't be friends with her, the fact that she can so easily be friends with you shows she's already passed the shock of the initial breakup and is moving on but doesn't wanna make you feel bad. Being her friend at this time in life is gonna open a world of hurt for you esp when you see her fully moved on. Aka with someone else. 1
Author loveiswar101 Posted March 4, 2014 Author Posted March 4, 2014 Thanks, agree. Ironically another text from mate wanting to catch up. Replied with that we will always be good mates but I need to break the circle of my ex, his girl and him and start fresh. Which I need to do. It's going to be tough and I've failed for 2 and half months now. Need to try again. As say NC day 1. 100% i know we can't be friends !
4everalones Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 yup. I tried the "being friends" crap and it didn't workout. I thought my ex just needed some time to sort things out in his life and didn't want him to forget about me in the middle of all that mess. Worst mistake ever! You can never be friends with an ex, especially when you still have feelings for them. My ex was actually treating me like an actual friend, and made it clear that he's done with the relationship. I ended up having a breakdown and yelling at him, telling him how selfish and self absorbed he was. It was a total disaster. So embarrassing! Please save yourself from so much pain and humiliation and back off. If she wants to reconcile, she knows how to reach you.
Author loveiswar101 Posted March 6, 2014 Author Posted March 6, 2014 Thank for reply 4everalones, Yep, part things I should be friends and probably the same reason as you did as don't want to be forgotten. But I know I can't, the desire , passion and feelings I have for her are so strong, it would be pointless. I have decided to back off, it will be hard as I miss her dearly, I come here daily but don't want to depend on others when I shoud be able to fix this myself and be strong enough to walk away. But I do like the support here and also reading other stories relising I'm not alone in the battle. You're 100% right too, she knows how to reach me.
firefly2613 Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 Get rid of your phone if you have to! Keep up the NC!
Author loveiswar101 Posted March 6, 2014 Author Posted March 6, 2014 Thanks, best ive done to date is 10 days, on day 3 today. Wow. Would dump phone for sure if could but need for work. Thanks for support !
gothicrose Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 Hey, just a little note of support. I officially split with my ex ten months ago but am still on day 7 of NC...don't make the same mistake as me, stay NC and you will move on a lot quicker! Wish I had taken everyone advice and gone no contact right when we split up....rather than wasting the best part of a year and still having my ex telling me he needs space for a bit then will come and see me!
somecamel Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 I deleted my ex phone number, removed her from FB, Skype etc. The only way we make contact now is email and try to keep that professional as we have some business we need to sort out. Do yourself a favour and do the same, it's amazing how easy it is not to text them when you don't have their number anymore:)
4everalones Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 Do yourself a favour and do the same, it's amazing how easy it is not to text them when you don't have their number anymore:) What if you have their number memorized? also, their Skype id, their email, personal website, etc. How do you erase that? I find myself typing his number on my phone multiple times a day
somecamel Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 What if you have their number memorized? also, their Skype id, their email, personal website, etc. How do you erase that? I find myself typing his number on my phone multiple times a day Luckily I never memorised her number, it was always just in my phone under her name. The truth is you can't erase it, you just need to put it to the back of your mind. Hows it going being back at home? Do you have friend there that can give you some support?
BC1980 Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 You have to cut it off right now. I did this same thing, and it's torture. NC is hard, big it's the lesser of two evils.
4everalones Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 Luckily I never memorised her number, it was always just in my phone under her name. The truth is you can't erase it, you just need to put it to the back of your mind. Hows it going being back at home? Do you have friend there that can give you some support? I thought I'd feel better when I'm surrounded by family and friends. I was wrong. It still sucks as much as being abroad. I've been through breakups before, but nothing like this!
Author loveiswar101 Posted March 7, 2014 Author Posted March 7, 2014 Well day 4 of NC, hope I can last. My mind as always travels on the breadcrumbs I have had over the last 2 months from her. From me staying over to her last message of "AT THE MOMENT I can only offer friendship" I keep asking myself why me as I know deep down and from what friends tell me I'm a good person. It took me a long time to love again and I wish I didn't open up my heart again. **** I don't deserve this...soldier on I guess !
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