Soul_Lost Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 (edited) I have been on these forums for a few years and have never really divulged my story. It's long and complicated so I will just touch on the highlights. Met my wife when I was 19 and we were married about 8 months later. I was going into the Navy and she got pregnant when I went on deployment about a year later. She has a heart condition and the doctor told us to have kids early. We only had a daughter. After the service, we came back to our home town and started getting on with our lives. I went to school and worked and she worked as well. We stayed there until 2000 and then I made a move to Arizona for a job and the family came out about a month later. We were there 3 years when the tech industry nose dived and I couldn't find employment. Moved back to our hometown and started my own business. Things were going ok until 2007. I took a job in a neighboring town that was too good to refuse. Only issue was that we would have to move there. My daughter was in school and I did not want to move her until she graduated. Sadly, that never happened. In 2009 my STBXW informed me that she was having an affair. We went through all the channels to try and recover. We did well for about 3 years. 2 years ago she asked me for a divorce and I told her to pack her stuff and go. She never did the grunt work for owning her affair and I didn't follow the full disclosure standard. I regret that now. I told my daughter, who was 17 at the time the whole truth. During this short break, my STBXW attempted to seduce a man that was my brother in law's boss. I was told that nothing occurred but I have my doubts to this day. A year later my daughter is struggling with some things and she tells me wants to talk to mom. I knew how it was going to go. My STBXW has always felt that the affair needed to be between me and her. She didn't know that I told our daughter. This was right before my 40th birthday. She takes off for a week and then comes home and we begin the process of trying it again. She stayed at her mom's during this time who I had already filled in on what was happening. Fast forward to last week. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, I wake up last Sunday to a very informal letter saying she no longer wants to be married and gas been unhappy for a long time. Mind you she stopped really any communication with me unless it was about day to day things. The last 8 months I was dealing with a father who was battling leukemia and then lost his battle in December of 2103. She made no effort to be around my family after my dad's death and seemed to be really distancing herself. We stopped going to lunch, and she started working late more often. Tell tale signs of another affair. She had taken a job in another town to supplement our income so we could get some things paid off. She has now moved out and is living with her parents back in our home town. We have started the process of divorce but I am putting the onus on her to file and pay all the cost associated because this is what she wants. I am speaking with an attorney tomorrow to determine how to protect myself. I was to alking with friends this last weekend it has come to light that her affair started way before she admitted it to me. We are talking as many as 15 years ago. I am not surprised but it just leads me to believe that there are more AP's out there. I am not perfect nor do I claim to be. I have been tossed aside for the better part of the last 6 years and now I have had enough. My question is should I wait for her to file or should I go ahead and move forward with filing to expedite the process? Edited March 3, 2014 by Soul_Lost Typo
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