brok3npromise Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 I recently decided to give online dating a try and I have my first date this Wednesday. I'm pretty nervous cause it almost feels like a blind date. Any tips you can give me? What are some warning signs I should look for when it comes to online date? I'm completely new to this. Thanks!
Smthn_Like_Olivia Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 I recently decided to give online dating a try and I have my first date this Wednesday. I'm pretty nervous cause it almost feels like a blind date. Any tips you can give me? What are some warning signs I should look for when it comes to online date? I'm completely new to this. Thanks! It is a blind date. Where are you meeting? Make sure you are meeting on neutral ground in a public place. It should be somewhere that is easy to end the date should it not be going well - coffee or drinks. Being nervous is natural, but try not to put too much buildup behind it as far as expectations go. OLD dating can produce a lot of disappointments. 1
Author brok3npromise Posted March 3, 2014 Author Posted March 3, 2014 Thanks! We are meeting up for a dinner and a couple drinks. It's a place I go to a lot and got to pick. I'm not nervous because I'm building anything up. Just nervous because of the blind date aspect.
thegreatesthumphrey Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 Oh my goodness. To be successful at online dating you have to be strong of mind and strong of heart, also persistent. I had a profile for around 2 years. I found that 90% of the guys that say they are looking for a relationship are not. 5% are looking for someone to take care of them or baby them, and only 5% are for real. You have to become proficient at weeding out the bull****. You must! Take it exactly how it is... guy after guy. If he is not right or sends any red flags, move on to the next. It is really simple do not complicate it in your head. There are really "plenty of fish" haha. No excuse to accept anything less than what you deserve. Now, the 95% I was talking about see only dating as an easy lay. Also I do say this for the 18-35 age range. 1. If they mention anything sexual in text or message before meeting: RED FLAG 2. If they say anything negative about their lives from initial conversation through the first date: RED FLAG (this is a tactic for lower level players to get you in bed, they seemingly give you personal information so you feel close to them and trust them, and they also open up your compassion) 3. If they suggest meeting at their house at night to watch a movie for the first date: RED FLAG I may post more later. If you listen to this, it will save you alot of heart ache. Remember what the genuine man says to you about how he feels, the player says the exact same thing. Protect yourself first, figure them out later. 1
Author brok3npromise Posted March 3, 2014 Author Posted March 3, 2014 1. If they mention anything sexual in text or message before meeting: RED FLAG 2. If they say anything negative about their lives from initial conversation through the first date: RED FLAG (this is a tactic for lower level players to get you in bed, they seemingly give you personal information so you feel close to them and trust them, and they also open up your compassion) 3. If they suggest meeting at their house at night to watch a movie for the first date: RED FLAG Well so far so good I suppose! Haven't heard any of those yet. Thanks for the pointers! 1
JennHenn Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 brok3npromise, I have also recently started online dating and I too have my first ever date from the internet on Wednesday. After reading your story on my post, it does, indeed, sound as though we are in VERY similar situations, haha. (Sorry, not a helpful reply but thought it was kinda funny ) Hope all goes well 1
Author brok3npromise Posted March 3, 2014 Author Posted March 3, 2014 brok3npromise, I have also recently started online dating and I too have my first ever date from the internet on Wednesday. After reading your story on my post, it does, indeed, sound as though we are in VERY similar situations, haha. (Sorry, not a helpful reply but thought it was kinda funny ) Hope all goes well Hey! That's awesome! haha. Sounds like we having things in common apparently when it comes to dating 1
Lipitor11 Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 Meet at a public place. Don't give out too much information about yourself, not yet anyway, until after-if you do decide to meet with that person again, you are meeting a stranger off the internet after all. Keep your guard up. And don't expect anything-it is online dating, meeting in person is all about chemistry and sparks, etc, etc. even though you think you get along with them by messaging, common interests means nothing.
Guy On The Couch Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 Just go and be yourself, make sure your nerves are settled down before you meet up. And remember this is not a job interview.
soccerrprp Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 Meet at a public place. Don't give out too much information about yourself, not yet anyway, until after-if you do decide to meet with that person again, you are meeting a stranger off the internet after all. Keep your guard up. And don't expect anything-it is online dating, meeting in person is all about chemistry and sparks, etc, etc. even though you think you get along with them by messaging, common interests means nothing. Exactly like you would do in so-called real-life dating....but.... Remember that these people are actively perusing other options online and/or dating someone else as well as yourself. You are in competition from the get go. So, take things slowly and with that knowledge in hand and don't get hooked early. You can always go back online to check to see if they are still searching and if so, that should keep your from getting attached.
Author brok3npromise Posted March 3, 2014 Author Posted March 3, 2014 Thanks everyone! I think I'm mostly just nervous about meeting someone off the internet. I've only ever met one person from the internet before and that was many many years ago and we had already been talking for like 2 years before that, lol.
J21 Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 (edited) Just be yourself, they have to like you for you right?Don't have any expectationsit can be the best date ever;it can be the worst date ever;or something in between. [*]Sometimes the pictures you saw online, may not to be reality. [*]If you aren't feeling the chemistry by dinner, I say call it a night. No need to move on to the drinks part. [*]Something along the lines of "Thank you for dinner, take care." is a nice way to let them know you don't see this going anywhere while still being polite. [*]But also, show them some interest if you do feel a connection. Edited March 3, 2014 by J21 2
d0nnivain Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 Above all else BE SAFE. You do not actually know this person. Make sure somebody who cares about you knows where you are going & who you are meeting. Have someone know when you are expected home. Call them to say you are safe. In anticipation of a bad date I always had a friend call me in the middle of the date with the idea if that was horrible, I would say her call was an emergency & I had to go. Fortunately it never came to that but I always took the opportunity to describe the date or snap a discrete photo & send it to her, just in case. Since you picked the place, I'd tell someone there that this is an OLD. After you have the safety covered keep it light & casual. This is a get to know you meeting not the time to air dirty laundry. Red flags include: too much sex talk or sex talk that makes you uncomfortableanger issues / displays including disproportionate rudenesstoo much discussion about past relationshipstalking over you / not listening to you & what you want or have to saygetting drunk on the datedeclarations of love / future plans set forth too far in advance 1
Author brok3npromise Posted March 3, 2014 Author Posted March 3, 2014 Thanks everyone for the advice! I'm getting excited, but reminding myself not to get my hopes up (as I always usually do)...
PegNosePete Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 Thanks everyone for the advice! I'm getting excited, but reminding myself not to get my hopes up (as I always usually do)... I have been on many online first dates, and always get my hopes up too. I think the day I don't get my hopes up, is the day I'll give it up. I call it optimism and I believe it means I will have a better time on the date, and if I have a better time on the date then so will my partner, which will increase chances of landing a 2nd date. Sure I am often disappointed, but so what... onto the next!
ExposedBrick Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 From a man's experience, OLD is a minefield just like real dating. Its more time consuming than traditional dating because it can be more difficult to weed people out for superficial reasons that everyone does. Not petty things, but people inevitably can look quite different both good and bad in photos. You also have no idea what their affect, demeanor, or voice are like. Since communication style and sense of humor can only be expressed in person, I recommend keeping your expectations extremely low. The lower the expectations, the higher degree of success you will have since you won't be nervous. Truthfully, you can't make an accurate judgement of a person until you get to know them, so why put pressure there? I actually find there to be a lot of attractive women out there on OLD with poor communication skills. If you aren't a natural chatty Cathy, prepare some things to talk about as back ups ahead of time. Although men are looked upon to guide things, it is a two way street so you need to show up in this regard. If you live in a city, meet in a public place where other people are present. You don't need to exchange phone numbers ahead of time unless you want to. Most importantly, be upfront and remember there are thousands of singles on OLD, so no need to force the issue. 1
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