Monicaj11 Posted March 2, 2014 Posted March 2, 2014 So I need a bit of encouragement/advice its a long read but bare with me I recently went through a pretty tough break up with my ex bf, Im 25 and he's 34 I really miss my ex, and want to know if you think We have a chance at getting back together. So we were together for 3 years, we lived together for 2 1/2 of them. In Sept my bf had to move about 8 hours away to NC from NY For personal reasons. I was pretty devestated but I understood his reasons. I was suppose to be moving in with him to NC this march. So for the last 4 months we had a LDR and I went down for a visit twice. Everything was pretty good, it felt like old times! Best weekend I've had so far, all the strain the distance put on our relationship seemed non existance and so did the petty bickering we had been having over the course of the last few months. So 2 days before christmas we got into a stupid fight, a famous rapper who is still pretty known but I’ll say a c list celeb had tried to talk to me a few years ago, I took. The celebs number and told my bf about it. He didn’t seem to upset he was kinda flattered, so 2 days before xmas this celeb found my instagram and followed me. I Snapshot the follow and sent it to my bf. I figured we would both laugh about it. At first he seemed cool but later on that day he got really mad and started an argument with me. I called on xmas and he was just really upset arguing with me and telling me not to call him, telling me to tlk to the celeb. I kept explaining to him I had no interest in this person and was just flattered by the attention. He advised me he did not care and for me not to call him and said some very hurtful nasty angry things to me. I called him the next day and he was very upset and screamed for me to leave him alone. So the following day he called me made small talk and ended the conversation. On new years he called but I didn’t answer or call back because I figured he needed more space Fast foward to jan 14th I called numerous times and he finally answered he was very irate and informed me he had an issue with the battery on his phone and he didn’t want to talk. I called the following day and he was still upset but we stayed on the phone for 15 mins, he told me I needed to “chill” and maybe he would call me if I “chilled” he then told me to go talk to the celeb, I again told him I have no interest in that man and he is the only man I love and want. So after that convo I called on Mon the 20th and he picked up right away but he had an attitude and said he didn’t want to talk right now and hung up. I called back and started to cry, he said why would he want to talk to me when im acting like this. He hung up again, I called back and said did u meet someone else? He then says very nonchalantly yes u go ur way and I’ll go my way, he hung up then I called back and a girl answered and said for me to leave her man alone and for me to stop calling, I cursed her out and she hung up, I called again and he answered but was laughing, I then told him to pay a bill he was supposed to pay and he said yeah ok. I was devestated and heart broken, I don’t know if this was a joke to him and for me to back off. Or if this was a woman he dumped me for. after 3 years I had never witnessed this beahaviour. I even played myself yet again and sent a flood of texts and called him that sat, he picked up and said he is not listening to me and the more I call the meaner and harsher he will be! I gave up after that, I was so hurt, he had texted me and said he knows for sure he will never deal with me again. I went back into NC and stayed this time! Same day I had to give his childs mother a late xmas gift for his daughter, she asked me how are things and I told her we had broken up, she was so upset b/c she knows how good I was to him and their child, she even told me I was the best woman he has ever had in his life! Esp since they broke up! She kept assuring me that day that he will be back once he realizes what he's done, I'm not so sure, but she kept saying trust me I know him and he will be back. she says he is deliberately trying to hurt me b/c of his insecurities and jealousy due to the celeb trying to get with me, instead of telling me how he feels he pushed me away b/c his ego. She called him and cursed him out on his VM she is a hot head and once she gets angry nobody can stop her. This recent behavior is totally not like him, we are always able to work out our problems. It took us 7 months to become exclusive, and before me he hadn’t had a girlfriend for 3 years, im his longest relationship. Could a man turn so cold after 3 years just like that? I love him very much. It seems so unlike him to throw away what we had, and for him to be with someone else, he has so many walls up, I find it hard to beleive he could be in another serious relationship after only 2 weeks of not speaking. Does my situation Seem hopeless? Every guy I ask says give him space, his ego was bruised but once I stop chasing him he will come around, another guy friend told me to give up and move on b/c he seems to be going on with his life. What do u think of my situation? The girl getting on the phone seems to be a deliberate tactic to hurt me b/c he always told me he isn’t the type to falunt any new relationship to make an ex jealous, its none of their business! I didnt meet his childs mother until a yr after we were dating she was his last relationship before me and they broke up in 07. Its now been 36days of no contact, he is really stubborn and hasn’t reached out. Im trying my hardest to focus on me but I miss him so much. He isn’t the type to jump into relationships, he’s so guarded. I just wish we could have a mature conversation . I suspect he was upset that I actually listened to*him and gave him space. It was 2 weeks then he became so cold and rejected me at every advance. Is my situation hopeless ? Im really afraid to reach out. I honestly don't want to! He dumped me so im hoping by not contacting him he will reah out to me and apologize! Its only been a month but its been so hard! Thanx for ur response in advance
David87 Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 Well first of don't call him again. When he calls you( if he calls you ) don't answer, maintain NC. If he really wants you he will be at your doorstep in no time. Your relationship started to crumble the moment he moved to another city and the celeb thing was the final nail in the coffin ( he got very jealous and that's why he acted like he did)
lvroflife Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 He was already insecure, his move away put fear in him about the relationship, the snapshot gave him fuel to back up his insecurities. Stay NC stay strong allow him to cool down, but he is definitely acting younger than 34. Seems he had trust issues with the relationship. One piece of advice going forward, if someone tries to talk to you do not tell your significant other. The part that is very significant is you took the celebs number. Why would you? Why not throw it on the ground as soon as he turned around? As far as impossible, nothing is impossible but it takes two to have a relationship, and right now he doesn't want that. Stay strong
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