Does she see me as more than a friend? Or am I over thinking?

[Tadhg.O]

Hey. So i'll try to make this brief as I can!

 

A little about me: I'm Tadhg (that's like tiger without the er, 'Tie-G', hence the avi) err, I'm a twin, but when I was born there was complications, I suffered lack of oxygen to the brain and minor brain damage. Only really affects me in two ways, that I'm epileptic (only semi-controlled by medication, so I have a super clever Labrador, Tim, who can sense if your going to have a seizure...so you can maybe choose to leave the bungee jump to tomorrow), and that I have a stammer, which is tons better than when I was a kid, but still there, less so around people I know really well, and not at all when I sing (i'll come back to the singing thing later).

 

I realise all that makes me sound like I have to park in the disabled bay, throw myself out the car and drag my self army crawl style into the shop, and that's just not true. If you saw me, you wouldn't know there was anything wrong with me (assuming you didn't see the big yellow Labrador) I like to think I'm fairly good looking

It's more just that it's annoying I'm one of 5 boys, my 3 older brothers are off doing pilot training, paramedic training, ones training as a unexploded ordinance technician, epilepsy rules you out of that stuff but hey it is what it is, theres a lot of fellas with a lot worse.

 

 

Anyway, that went on a bit, but theres this girl, I met her on my first day of school, 5 years old, I didn't talk much at all back then and to talk for two was her idea of paradise

I've got my guy mates but I think its fair to say she's my best friend, always has been.

She sings too, we started a band four years ago at 17, me, her, another couple of guys, we go round and gig a bit.

 

So that's me and her, just friends right, except now I think maybe not? We spend an awful lot of time together, she'll sleep on my shoulder on the couch, she'll grab my hand sometimes when we're walking.

I'm not putting myself down here (I'm a catch ) but she really does have guys queuing up, she's really beautiful, chilled, of course they do. Whereas a large proportion of girls have trouble seeing past the stutter and the boisterous Labrador!

 

She broke up with her boyfriend the other day (they'd only been dating like 2 months), he really really didn't like her spending time with me, A)Cause he was in my brothers year at school and they definitely weren't friends and B)He was super insecure about it, always trying to one up me.

She was talking about it to me yesterday

Her: He was just so angsty and jealous y'know

Me: Of me?

Her: Well, firstly of you, then the postman and my cat, but yeah mostly you.

Me: And that's why you ended it?

Her: Yep.

Then she put her arm round my neck and went "we've got to stick together, it's you and me against the world Tigger (her nickname for me)"

 

So that was like lightbulb moment? Like maybe she wants more than just friends.......or maybe I just took a comment and overthought it!

[mjkid31]

Well I think she does, you should make a move. And if she doesn't feel the same way, burn her car with thermite. The mature thing to do.

[milwinlol]

Maybe you should just slip the question casually into a conversation one day.....see how she reacts, she may tell you that you're her best friend and there could never be anything more than that between you.........or she could tell you something else. You never know these things until you ask, but you don't want to make it awkward....think about it before you say anything.... good luck!

[Tadhg.O]

Maybe you should just slip the question casually into a conversation one day.....see how she reacts, she may tell you that you're her best friend and there could never be anything more than that between you.........or she could tell you something else. You never know these things until you ask, but you don't want to make it awkward....think about it before you say anything.... good luck!

 

Yeah, this is it see, I don't want to be just another guy hitting on her, make it awkward, i'd lose my best friend, my band, all the great stuff.

 

I handn't even really considered her maybe feeling like that until couple of days ago tbh.

[milwinlol]

If you get turned down, make a joke of it, you never know - years from now you could be sat laughing about 'that time you asked if she loved you.' ........on the other hand, she may have been dropping hints for years, and you were just too ingrosed in your friendship you never noticed.

 

I really do think you should say something. You don't need to make a big thing of it and turn the conversation into a really deep and serious one, because she could feel pressurised and almost 'on the spot'.

 

Just be careful how you do it.

[Tadhg.O]

If you get turned down, make a joke of it, you never know - years from now you could be sat laughing about 'that time you asked if she loved you.' ........on the other hand, she may have been dropping hints for years, and you were just too ingrosed in your friendship you never noticed.

 

I really do think you should say something. You don't need to make a big thing of it and turn the conversation into a really deep and serious one, because she could feel pressurised and almost 'on the spot'.

 

Just be careful how you do it.

 

Yeah I know what you mean...just a off-hand casual kind of comment, see how she what I can gauge from how she reacts, no pressure on her, no fall out if she doesn't see us like that.

 

I guess the problem with that is...saying stuff has never exactly been my forte I normally don't struggle round her because I know her so well and we're comfortable, I'm confident.

But I just lose my voice when I'm nervous or unsure of what I'm saying, and then I think maybe 'offhand and casual' becomes a lot more....onhand and less casual? when it starts of like "...s-s-s-so, so.." (especially when she'd notice it as massively different to how I normally talk around her).

 

You see my dilemma?

[milwinlol]

I see what you mean. You two are obviously very close and you both know each other so well.

 

Question: You haven't actually said you feel this way about her? If she did have feelings for you, would you be up for something happening between you? Or is just simply for peace of mind?

[Tadhg.O]

I see what you mean. You two are obviously very close and you both know each other so well.

Exactly, and I don't want to ruin that.

 

Question: You haven't actually said you feel this way about her? If she did have feelings for you, would you be up for something happening between you? Or is just simply for peace of mind?

Well, this is all quite new for me. Like I say she's beautiful, funny, talented, a really cool girl, of course guys would queue down the street to have her on their arm.....but I see her differently to them, I mean she's still all those things but she's also the 6 year old girl who wore her hair in a plat and would sing every day. The 10 year old I used to go bike riding with. The 13 year old I'd sit on the beach with, eat ice cream and jam with our guitars. The 15 year old who went ballistic at a substitute teacher we had who told me 'if I just tried' I could 'speak properly' when she was making me read aloud. My 16 year old prom date.

The list goes on.

There's just a lot of history there for us.

 

I guess that I never even really considered it because I didn't think it was a realistic thing, of course when we were kids other kids would make comments about me and her being an item, but as the years rolled on and we never became one , everyone kind of accepted we never would, me included.

I'm honestly not insecure or putting myself down here, I do consider myself a pretty solid guy and not hard on the eyes, but I've only had one gf and that was very short lived...i'd have girls like me for a little while but then...well apparently seizures aren't sexy! Whereas she could have any guy, literally she'd just have to say the word.

 

So, long answer made short, I was just happy with what I had, cause she's a wicked person and an awesome best friend. Then suddenly there's this 'maybe she likes me like that' question in my head, and if she does would I want to progress our relationship - of course I would! I would!

 

Tragic truth is there's no one i'd rather be with and that deep down I've always loved her since I was about 5 years old, but I didn't realise is till now and, now I have so much to lose.

[Shepp]

That's tough mate.....

 

If you think back, has she ever made any other comment along those lines?

[Tadhg.O]

That's tough mate.....

 

If you think back, has she ever made any other comment along those lines?

 

Urm, hard to say really because we're really good mates so the odd comment here or there, her ending her texts with lots of xxx's, or going with her to family weddings isn't really anything that's made me think twice.

 

She didn't like my ex, used to tell me I could do so much better. But then, turns out she was right about her, so dunno.

[milwinlol]

Exactly, and I don't want to ruin that.

 

 

Well, this is all quite new for me. Like I say she's beautiful, funny, talented, a really cool girl, of course guys would queue down the street to have her on their arm.....but I see her differently to them, I mean she's still all those things but she's also the 6 year old girl who wore her hair in a plat and would sing every day. The 10 year old I used to go bike riding with. The 13 year old I'd sit on the beach with, eat ice cream and jam with our guitars. The 15 year old who went ballistic at a substitute teacher we had who told me 'if I just tried' I could 'speak properly' when she was making me read aloud. My 16 year old prom date.

The list goes on.

There's just a lot of history there for us.

 

I guess that I never even really considered it because I didn't think it was a realistic thing, of course when we were kids other kids would make comments about me and her being an item, but as the years rolled on and we never became one , everyone kind of accepted we never would, me included.

I'm honestly not insecure or putting myself down here, I do consider myself a pretty solid guy and not hard on the eyes, but I've only had one gf and that was very short lived...i'd have girls like me for a little while but then...well apparently seizures aren't sexy! Whereas she could have any guy, literally she'd just have to say the word.

 

So, long answer made short, I was just happy with what I had, cause she's a wicked person and an awesome best friend. Then suddenly there's this 'maybe she likes me like that' question in my head, and if she does would I want to progress our relationship - of course I would! I would!

 

Tragic truth is there's no one i'd rather be with and that deep down I've always loved her since I was about 5 years old, but I didn't realise is till now and, now I have so much to lose.

 

I really think you need to speak to her before you lose your mind with all these doubts.

[Targetlock]

That is problem with these sort of things, you don't really know until you take a chance. i reckon you should if you really have feelings for her but be careful about how you do it. best of luck