Ryan52 Posted March 2, 2014 Posted March 2, 2014 (edited) So the one year anniversary of the break up just passed and this is where I am. A short recap: Dated this girl from 18 months and she left me for her current boyfriend. I was 22 and she was 21 and her new boyfriend is in his 30’s. I was graduating college and she still had 2 years left and found someone who wasn’t leaving (AKA her neighbor) and left me for him. Also my friends were her only friends but most of them ditched her after she dumped me for another guy. For the first few months of the BU we would contact each other sporadically but get into fights. She blocked my phone and facebook on numerous occasions. She tried to cut me out of her life and treated me like I was the worst thing in the world to her. Basically she did a total 180 when she dumped me. The last time we spoke, She contacted me and picked a fight and then threaten me with a restraining order I contact her again. I don’t know why considering she contacted me. So I have not seen her in 11 months, and have not spoken to her in 7 months (Hence NC). Ive noticed randomly she unblocked my facebook after 3 months of NC and blocked me a few weeks later. She randomly texts my best friends (who I have known for 20 years and she has only known for 2). My friend has not seen her in about 2 years but they were close (not anymore). She randomly tries to facebook friend my friends again because she has no one else. My roommate’s gf is still good friends with my ex and she went out to dinner with my ex and her new bf. Apparently my ex asked my roommates gf about me and how I am doing in front of her bf (the one she left me for). My roommates gf said it was an awkward situation for my ex’s bf because he was sitting right there. So who knows why my ex randomly blocks and unblocks my facebook, talks to my friends randomly (every few months) and asks about me. Her birthday just came up and I decided NOT to say happy birthday to her because I’m in NC (plus she told me to never contact her again). As a result, she did not tell me happy birthday, but o well. Since the breakup, I’ve become closer to my friends and family. My brother came out and told me he has a boyfriend. I’m happy for him. I decided to focus my efforts on my school work and passed my state engineering licensing exam and found an amazing engineering job in my states capital. I’ve gone on vacations all over and I’m having fun (not bad for a 23 year old lol). I decided to improve myself after the breakup and I have. So I guess NC did what it was supposed to do and that was calm my emotions and work on myself. I cannot say what my ex is doing because I do not want to know. According my friends (who randomly tell me this info), my ex has gone into her partying stages and now has tattoos and possibly does drugs. Her boyfriend is in his 30s and lost his job as a waiter/bartender. So I guess NC actually cleared my mind and showed me what a mess my ex is and has become. Yes I still miss her and think about her daily but it will fade as people say. I wish she would leave my life entirely but instead she's asking questions about me and talking to my friends. Yet I'm not allowed to talk to her. So Thank you guys for your words of wisdom. Edited March 2, 2014 by Ryan52 1
Sandy99 Posted March 2, 2014 Posted March 2, 2014 Good for you for moving on and bettering yourself. Your ex sounds like a cold woman. You'd think she would have the decency to just let you be, instead of questioning your friends about what you are up to in front of her boyfriend. Who knows why she was doing that? Probably out of curiosity. I guess the point is that she's done horrible things to you, and so you're better off with out her. Just hold your head high and remind yourself that her new boyfriend is obviously no prize.
Author Ryan52 Posted March 2, 2014 Author Posted March 2, 2014 Good for you for moving on and bettering yourself. Your ex sounds like a cold woman. You'd think she would have the decency to just let you be, instead of questioning your friends about what you are up to in front of her boyfriend. Who knows why she was doing that? Probably out of curiosity. I guess the point is that she's done horrible things to you, and so you're better off with out her. Just hold your head high and remind yourself that her new boyfriend is obviously no prize. Yea I don't understand her being curious about me. It's like she didn't want me in her life yet she still wants to know about me and be friends with my best friends. O well lol
shakenbake9 Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 Your ex sounds like a nut-job and you are better off without her. She unblocks/blocks you on facebook because she wants to check up on you every now and then. If she was over you--this would not be occuring. You wouldn't be blocked. You sound very mature for a 23 year old--I am 26 and not half of the men out there have a mature outlook as you do. She will disappear from your mind with time. Focus on the positive things going on in your life (she isn't one of them)!
Author Ryan52 Posted March 3, 2014 Author Posted March 3, 2014 Your ex sounds like a nut-job and you are better off without her. She unblocks/blocks you on facebook because she wants to check up on you every now and then. If she was over you--this would not be occuring. You wouldn't be blocked. You sound very mature for a 23 year old--I am 26 and not half of the men out there have a mature outlook as you do. She will disappear from your mind with time. Focus on the positive things going on in your life (she isn't one of them)! Thank you for your reply. It's amazing how much clearer you see months later. When she broke up with me, she was grasping straws. Said I wasn't mature enough, I was too shy, not fun, I was cause for her depression (a few months before she met me, she tried to kill herself) and I'm from the city and she is from the country.
Chi townD Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 Sounds like you're doing great! The reason why she blocks you and unblocks you is because she gets curious to see how your life turned out without her in it. So, she unblocks you to get a glimpse into your life. She's finding things out about you. Like you making improvements to your life, the traveling you've been doing, the new degree and the new job. So, I guess she just wants to confirm that what she's heard is true. Continue to lead a damn good life. That's the best revenge you can get and it looks like it's working.
Author Ryan52 Posted March 3, 2014 Author Posted March 3, 2014 Sounds like you're doing great! The reason why she blocks you and unblocks you is because she gets curious to see how your life turned out without her in it. So, she unblocks you to get a glimpse into your life. She's finding things out about you. Like you making improvements to your life, the traveling you've been doing, the new degree and the new job. So, I guess she just wants to confirm that what she's heard is true. Continue to lead a damn good life. That's the best revenge you can get and it looks like it's working. But why would she care or be curious about my life? She's the one that walked out on me and blocked me every way possible.
johnson_j Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 But why would she care or be curious about my life? She's the one that walked out on me and blocked me every way possible. Because women are curious creatures and she's wondering whether she made the right decision. If she thinks she traded up she might be having the same issues with the new guy and realizing what she lost. 1
Author Ryan52 Posted March 4, 2014 Author Posted March 4, 2014 Because women are curious creatures and she's wondering whether she made the right decision. If she thinks she traded up she might be having the same issues with the new guy and realizing what she lost. I don't know what she's up to and I think I'm done worrying about it. The less I know the better. I do have a feeling she will contact me sometime in the future, could be today, tomorrow or a few years from now. It would be so much easier if she just left my life completely (leaving my friends alone). She lost the right to ask about and look at how I'm doing.
Author Ryan52 Posted March 7, 2014 Author Posted March 7, 2014 Because women are curious creatures and she's wondering whether she made the right decision. If she thinks she traded up she might be having the same issues with the new guy and realizing what she lost. Ya just went on my friends facebook to wish her happy birthday and right under my post was my ex. She unblocked me again after a few months. Girl is insane.
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