ABrokenNerd Posted March 2, 2014 Posted March 2, 2014 (edited) Hey LS forums. It has been awhile since I've last posted anything. But hey, here goes nothing. Update for anyone who cares, been NC going strong since November. Read my first thread if you want more backstory. Not a peep from both sides. The only thing I know about her at this point (by mutual friends telling me things without me asking them, god dammit) is that she asked about me from time to time, and that her bf isn't really happy with things. But so what? Doesn't really concern me that much. Those are her problems now, and if she really wants to know how I am doing, she would make a better effort then asking people one question every so often. Okay, so back to the issue at hand. I was invited to spend time with a friend whom I haven't seen in awhile. We are good friends, I haven't seen her in months, I live 2 hours away by transit (too young and poor to afford a car of my own ) She invited me to hang out at her school, and she and my ex are mutual friends as well. They go to the same school (as do I but I took a year off due to finances). So my dilemma is this. My ex is gonna be there, but I have options. I can either 1) suck it up, go, put on a brave face and just hang out. 2) I can hang out with just my friend for a small amount of time while my ex has class, but that wouldn't really be fair to me and my friend because of travel times, lack of opportunities to hang out and such, also a chance to run into my ex as well, but a simple hi won't hurt anyone. 3) not go, and not risk breaking NC at all, and just make plans to hang out when my ex is not around, albiet that will be a long time from now, due to impending business. So loveshack... I need some input. Anything would be greatly appreciated... Edited March 2, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Added link and clarified title.
STM206 Posted March 2, 2014 Posted March 2, 2014 It really depends on how you feel towards your ex. In your heart do you feel the when you see her in person, all those old feelings will come rushing back? Or would you be able to see her and go home not having it affect you on such a deep level? Personally it sounds like you've made great progress an I'd hate for you to walk into a landmine and set yourself back to square one. Maybe ask your friend if you can meet elsewhere, just to be safe. Do dinner and a drink together, off campus?
Author ABrokenNerd Posted March 3, 2014 Author Posted March 3, 2014 That's the thing, I'm not entirely sure if it would have that effect on me. It's been that long so until I see her in person, I wont know for sure. I do know that I have no expectations when it comes to her at least. Thanks for the reply, I'm still debating.
Poppyolive Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 I know it maybe interesting to see how you feel when you see her...but it could really hurt and ruin a good time. Its hard to hide emotions and be all cool. I would postpone it or have your friend come visit you. I think if you go you wont be able to think clearly and cope well...it may feel too overwhelming & raw. Or have every angle thought through before you go. Be mentally & emotionally prepared for what its etc....if anything you may be putting this mutual friend in a tricky situation. Think everything through....you'll know what's right.
firefly2613 Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 For the love of all that is holy, good, and right - for puppies, and babies, and kittens, and flowers in the summer - DO NOT GO. Just don't do it.
lovebirds Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 It depends... i am quite okay seeing my ex although we have only been broken up since November. Things are a bit awkward, but I prefer this to nc because I don't feel any yearning etc when I see him and first and foremost I don't want to give up social activities (our social lives are very intertwined and people didn't have to choose sides or anything in this bu) I used to engage in just because he is there as well. I can cope with it. It depends on how you feel about it. The first time I saw my ex back was when I had to pick up my stuff and I was very emotional then... But it was a part of my healing process as well. I guess I am not a follower of NC, because I know that seeing him does not make me break down etc... If you are over your ex than in my opinion you should do whatever you feel like doing. I am a bit stubborn and would not want to give up something I would like to do because of the ex.
Author ABrokenNerd Posted March 3, 2014 Author Posted March 3, 2014 I decided to postpone. Thanks for the input guys. It would be much better to be completely ready then to find out through trial and error lmao.
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