Pankraz Posted March 2, 2014 Posted March 2, 2014 (edited) So we have been dating for almost 2 years now living with each other for 14 months not anymore. but we seemed to be happy together but i seem to have some anger issues at times and it really scares my gf. nothing has ever become physical its just when i play games i get frustrated and maybe alot of the drinking contributes to that but anywho. One night she went out and didnt come home, she texted me saying she as staying at a friends house. seeing as this never happened before i got angry and trashed the apartment. went she got back in the morning she said she couldnt take it anymore and left. we talked a but the next few days where she said we couldnt live together anymore. but she says she loves me and wants things to work out, and if they do we she could move back in. After a week of being away she starts to get distant barely answering my texts, calls or my fb messages. for that week and the next one she is always saying she is going to come over and never does. she does say she loves me and wants to work things out but i have yet to see if thats how she feels. apparently she excludes certain family members out of her life for a bit becuz she is angry. she stilll keeps the relationship status up on fb but thats all i really have right now for hope things work out. I asked her what i need to do becuz i have no clue and she says she need me not to freak out, there are a few times i overreact but its becuz i miss her and want to talk but she doesnt seem like she wants to. we just took care of the finals bills for her in the apt and is making me sign a new lease which upsets me becuz i moved into this city for her to do her school and be with her. she claims to her mom that she is stressed and doesn't know why i keep on texting her. for that first week all this was too much for her to handle and she didnt get any work done on reading week and makes sense she needed that time the next week to do all her work and i understand that. I just dont know if she is jerking me around becuz i thought she loved me. i feel like since she isnt forced to talk to me anymore cuz of the bills are taken care of she will be out of my life forever. Edited March 2, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs
melell Posted March 2, 2014 Posted March 2, 2014 Some people, when in love, can be completely blinded by an attachment to that person. They ignore character flaws, habits, situations etc. that in their logical minds they wouldn't tolerate. Given space, and loosening of attachments-people get a bit of clarity, and at that point they can sometimes be gone for good if the reality of it was bad enough. I can honestly say if I was her, and I was reflecting on how YOU are, I would not be feeling compelled to return. I have an ex that would do lots of things drink/drug, volatile personality, I stayed with them for years. But has soon as we broke up and I had a month or so away from them, I was completely done. It was as though all those negative things became negative x100000 It really doesn't matter how kind and nice you might be 99% of the time, all it takes is that 1% to be bad enough to change everything. Work on you, you can always improve yourself and resolve that 1%.
Author Pankraz Posted March 2, 2014 Author Posted March 2, 2014 well the thing is she was talking about wanting us to go to therapy and wanting to work things out, and that we have alot to talk about and resolve. but it will take time. she constantly says she loves me and sometimes is still sexual with me even though we havent spent alot of time with each other. i had told her i would quit drinking becuz she meant more to me than that, and she responded she was gonna cry out of happiness and that you have no idea how much that means to me
melell Posted March 2, 2014 Posted March 2, 2014 Sounds like there is still plenty of room to fix things. But you will have to be very sure/confident in your ability to fix it, or you might just make it worse..
beyond Posted March 2, 2014 Posted March 2, 2014 Give up drinking and go to anger management classes. Yes, it may help you in getting your gf back, but more importantly it will be good for you and all future relationships.
Author Pankraz Posted March 2, 2014 Author Posted March 2, 2014 i know that much, i guess im just wondering what i should do, i constantly feel depressed had to miss half a shift on friday cuz i felt i was going to throw up, sometimes i cant eat or even sleep. i may need to drink just so i can get some sleep. she now barely talks to me but wont break up with me but saying its going to take alot of conselling to fix our relationship. is this a lost cause?
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