Guys: Do you get upset/offended if a girl isn't there in the morning?

[ConfusedExtrovert]

My specific scenario: In college, this guy and I (I'm female) were both interested in each other, but both unsure if a relationship would work between us. He's a self-identified introvert who doesn't date a lot, and held more traditional views about dating. I'm more extroverted and have more liberal/feminist ideas about dating.

 

We had a strange history, where we had never officially dated but had an intense connection/chemistry, and had spent many hours in each others company. One night after a party at his house he asked me to stay over, and insisted "we don't have to do anything, you can just stay." I did, and we stayed up till 4am talking and cuddling, and discussing how this relationship could progress. At one point we began kissing, which I ended before it went too far, as I was concerned that a real relationship would never happen if we seriously hooked up. He had told me that sleeping with someone was "kind of a big deal to him" but still I offered to leave, as I didn't want to seem clingy/annoy him in case he was only looking for something casual. He insisted I stay. We eventually go to sleep, and the next morning around 7am I leave without waking him up, though I left a note (the note was pretty ambiguous-said I left because I couldn't sleep and that was pretty much it).

 

I thought he would understand that my leaving had nothing to do with my feelings for him/our night together, but was my attempt at giving him his space-especially since he had expressed concern about our not working out.

 

HOWEVER, all my girlfriends told me that was a terrible thing to do, and I should call him and explain. I called him later that night and, still trying not to seem clingy, told him I had left because it was so early and I couldn't fall back asleep, not that I thought anything was weird. I ended with "I'm sure I'll hear from you sometime".

 

Of course, I never heard from him again, even after I called a week later just to see "what was up". I am wondering if the "leaving before he woke up" could have screwed things up between us-do guys get insulted about that kind of stuff or maybe I should just assume he wasn't interested and decided to be immature about it?

 

 

I've gotten conflicting advice on this topic. Some guys say if they're interested in a girl and she sleeps over, it's really upsetting if they wake up the next morning and she's gone.

 

Others say it isn't a big deal, and insist that even if he was slightly put-out by it, he would still call and see what's up if was really interested.

 

I guess I'm wondering, in general, how guys feel about this? Especially introverted guys-would this be more upsetting to you?

 

Thanks for any insight you can give!

[Assasda]

He could get the idea that, you may not be comfortable around him, or trust him in some way. Which would be very very bad.

 

Other than that, I dont think its a big deal. Seems like you guys are already dating anyway