free_spirit Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 (edited) Hey everyone, I'm in a sticky situation. My ex has a very bad tendency to be delusional. He is unaware or "refuses" to believe i have moved on and I don't want him - not now or not ever. Reasons why? Because i don't like his abusive/angry personality. Simple. Also he doesn't find me attractive or says that because of his own insecurities. Reason being, he has a GF now and she is very plain, thin lips and looks like she has Double Jaw (my friends have said that, not me lol). So I know that i'm not unattractive lol. He also calls me fat because of his own weight gain. He has stretch marks around his legs too and tried to hide it once. Back then, I wanted to reassure him and again , I would never think badly about stretch marks either. I noticed he gains weight around his legs/bum/stomach. So I suppose he's not too confident about that. I didnt really mind that a guy gains weight because I'm not a shallow girl. I understand many people gain weight for many reasons - stress, medication, etc. For me, I have full lips, nice eyes , long eye-lashes, thick flowing multi-tonal natural brown hair and I'm skinny with a nice stomach. That's the thing, he's too complicated and cares too much about partnerships. I want a guy who when i will marry, won't jump at the first sign of "routine" to look for another girl. Love in marriages are stabilized and they even turn into friendships. I want a guy who will be able to accept the friendship with his wife and unconditional love, to work on the family and be his wife's friend and lover too. Not to look for fresh love outside or have this itching need to experience women all the time. He's too fussy and his life revolves around partnerships or it depends on his happiness. This is a giant red flag and is a big sign of infidelity. My guy, the one i have right now, is very simple, gorgeous and very independent. he doesn't need me to text him 24/7. That means he can be happy on his own. He's not abusive and not too fussy for sex. By the way, he is also delusional about the fact that he's NOT abusive! HE IS ABUSIVE To be honest, my friends think my ex doesn't belong in my league either, that I deserve way better. Anyways, I'm not too fussy about looks and mostly can focus on a good heart, gentle guy. But i know i can get any guy i want. So I still don't want my ex no matter what because I know i will not be happy with him. It will be like getting an arranged marriage if i marry him. I might as well marry a stranger because i will either love them forever or won't love them at all and stay in an unhappy marriage for kids because I don't cheat. What do i do? How can i make him realize we will never be together? He has this dream life in his mind where he thinks he will be with me forever and we will have kids, own a house and have a Joint-bank account. Actually, lol, i did tell him once i would love a joint-bank account with him since he's not a money-crazy guy. Turns out, he was all along. He takes girls out on dates and make them pay. Also, he made me pay for a dinner once too by saying he was broke, when he wasn't. No i don't want to. Also I have a sinking suspicion he is trying to ruin my relationship with the new guy. Well i guess we aren't official yet since i want to have options. I dont like having one egg in my basket since anything can happen. Anyway, what shall i do about the ex? Edited March 1, 2014 by free_spirit
FitChick Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 You sound obsessed with him. Concentrate on the new guy and other men. Go 'No Contact' with the ex. Ignore him.
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