i fear i'm not coping

[btvdts]

It's been over a few months since the BU and yet I at times I feel like I'm not handling it well. like almost like I'm in a dream, and I will be waking up soon. I've read some posts here where some people got over it in matters of weeks, while others feel like they are still trapped and its been over a year. I'll be honest that I'm terrified if it takes me that long to truly get over her.

 

My friend made a really good point the other day. she said that because I moved out of state and had to get a new job, new school, basically a new life, when things gets get bad, i'll remember why I'm here in the first place...because I was dumped, for if I were still were with her, I'd be living my "old life" still. it made sense to me because starting new because you have too, and not because you are excited to and want to makes it all that harder. I stayed off Facebook for almost 4 months, and the other night, thinking I'd be ok to get on there, the first thing that popped up was my ex(I took her off long ago, but forgot about her best friend that was still there who had posted the pics). even though it was just a pic of her by herself, it made me feel so sad seeing her so happy.

 

Of course I'd want her to be happy, what made me sad was that it wasn't me making her happy anymore. that's why sometimes I feel like I'm ignoring the fact that relationship is over. I know if I saw my ex right now I wouldn't know what to do. since we live states apart that's not going to happen. maybe its because it was cut out of the blue, and I was left with so many questions...I dunno... I just wish I could let her go. all of it, my old life, her two girls... but damn does it still hurt.

Edited March 2, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[AnyaNova]

I think the solution for you is going to be a lot of self-care and a lot of immersing yourself in your new life. Later on tonight I will come back, if I am a little more articulate, and try and give you a good list of self-care things you can do right now. I am sorry you are hurting.

 

I am too.

 

We will get through this.

Edited March 2, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[LostConfused123]

I know how you feel. I get scared sometimes I'll never get over this.

I'm 4 months break up and NC. But I'll get through it and you will too.

 

Our stories are kinda similar but opposite. . . . I moved to a new state also. New friends, New job. . . everything. . . this is where our stories are opposite. . I met him shortly AFTER moving here so my memories with my new life all include him. I'm constantly reminded.

 

I really don't think geography has anything to do with it. The fact is we suffered a huge loss and we would be grieving no matter where in this planet we lived.

We just have to keep pushing forward. Day by day.

 

Hang in there. We.will be on the other side one day.

((hugs!!))

[devilish innocent]

You shouldn't blame yourself for not being over her yet. It takes time. You just have to focus on taking it day by day. You'll get there eventually.

 

I think part of the difficulty for you is that you met her at a point when your life was pretty empty aside from her and her family. It's not just being forced to move. It's that they were your whole life for that little while. Then when she cut you out of all of it, you had nothing else to lean on. It's harder when you don't have friends, family, a long term job that you can focus on instead.

 

You seem to have come a long way from where you were right after the break-up. You should be proud of yourself just for going back to school. For working to get a job. For hanging out with people. Keep believing in yourself. You'll make it through.

[btvdts]

thanks for the reply guys. yea its been a roller coaster that's for sure. its like they say, everything happens for a reason. the problem behind that is that we don't always understand it, and maybe never will. I'll find my way through this and so will the rest of you!