RedRobin Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 (edited) I've been tempted to lie about my age for lots of reasons. IRL, I find asking about it is just as tacky as asking someone's income. One reason I don't lie, is because if/when I find out the other person has lied about something major, I want to tell him "you are a liar"... and not be a hypocrite. lol. I also believe that I need to own my age (even though I look younger) because people need to know what aging well looks like when you take care of yourself. If I lie, they have no idea. When I was doing OLD, I imagine lots of older guys were pissed that I didn't want to date them. Fully half of all the responses I got were from men who were outside of my age range. That's too bad. I have some very good reasons to avoid older men that have nothing to do with how they look. That's my prerogative. Just like it is their prerogative to try and hook up with younger women. Anyway, this is why I don't do OLD anymore. Too many flakes and liars. Trying to find the decent one in that shytty haystack makes me hate dating... and has done a lot to make me not like single men in general... at least around here. I do much better when I meet people in my activity groups, for the most part. At least I'm doing something healthy and fun... even if I don't meet anyone I'd like to date there. I've recently met a couple of guys who I think are attracted to me. One I met at a social group, the other I met in my running group. Both are a few years younger. One seems to be obsessed with the viability of his aging sperm, so he's out. My tubes are tied and he doesn't seem keen on adoption. The other, he's definitely a prospect. I know his age because it is posted in the members profile. Guess what? My real age is put there, along with a real picture. He or anyone else wanting to get to know me is going to see my real age... if he cares to. Edited March 4, 2014 by RedRobin 2 Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 I'll usually be honest about my age at first and then start lying if it proves to be a turnoff for her. Generally they go along with the lie if they're really interested even though they know I'm lying on some level. It's honestly one of the most retarded things to get hung up on if you're salivating over each other in every other department. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 People who post fake incomes and fake pictures, and who fudge their true relationship situation probably feel the same way. A little white lie here and there to bait the prey. So don't complain when things don't turn out well I guess. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 I'll usually be honest about my age at first and then start lying if it proves to be a turnoff for her. Generally they go along with the lie if they're really interested even though they know I'm lying on some level. It's honestly one of the most retarded things to get hung up on if you're salivating over each other in every other department. Well, I have been tempted to tell a guy, look, if age is that important to you, then I'm fine if you tell everyone you know that I'm younger than I am... haha. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 (edited) I've been tempted to lie about my age for lots of reasons. I find asking about it is just as tacky as asking someone's income. I totally agree. Income is more important if you plan to live together or get married. The landlord or mortgage company doesn't care about your age. Asking someone's weight is tacky because many people don't look their weight especially if they are fit since muscle weighs more. So if someone thought you were hot looking but had a limit of 140 lbs. he'd be an arse if he dumped you for being 142. Edited March 4, 2014 by FitChick Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 It's written 'married' all over him. Move to next. Why do you get in touch with men living 10 hours away? Keep it local Eharmony doesn't work like the other dating sites in this sense. Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted March 5, 2014 Share Posted March 5, 2014 Age is more than how you look and how active you are. There are legitimate biological concerns as one ages, and no matter how wrinkle free you are or how often you do cross-fit, you can't avoid them. Like I said, I'm 30 and if I want kids in a few years I don't want them with someone who is already in his 40s. I also don't want to date someone who didn't grow up in the same few years that I did, experiencing similar things at similar ages (even silly things like tv shows) is something that I enjoy. People who want someone their age aren't always just going by LOOKS. That seems to be ignored here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BradJacobs Posted March 5, 2014 Share Posted March 5, 2014 Age is more than how you look and how active you are. There are legitimate biological concerns as one ages, and no matter how wrinkle free you are or how often you do cross-fit, you can't avoid them. Like I said, I'm 30 and if I want kids in a few years I don't want them with someone who is already in his 40s. I also don't want to date someone who didn't grow up in the same few years that I did, experiencing similar things at similar ages (even silly things like tv shows) is something that I enjoy. People who want someone their age aren't always just going by LOOKS. That seems to be ignored here. Your response isn't convenient. Link to post Share on other sites
Mo_Do Posted March 5, 2014 Share Posted March 5, 2014 Age is more than how you look and how active you are. There are legitimate biological concerns as one ages, and no matter how wrinkle free you are or how often you do cross-fit, you can't avoid them. Like I said, I'm 30 and if I want kids in a few years I don't want them with someone who is already in his 40s. I also don't want to date someone who didn't grow up in the same few years that I did, experiencing similar things at similar ages (even silly things like tv shows) is something that I enjoy. People who want someone their age aren't always just going by LOOKS. That seems to be ignored here. I'm 33 and have my things set from 27-34, but I am really after someone 30-33 ideally. I've done the younger girl thing (23-26) - no thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted March 5, 2014 Share Posted March 5, 2014 It's written 'married' all over him. ha, that is exactly what I thought when I read the OP.. I guess it is the other things she mentioned that he could be lying about. Link to post Share on other sites
Speakingofwhich Posted March 5, 2014 Share Posted March 5, 2014 Guy ten years younger than me from OLD pursued me hotly. We were LD so we talked on the phone a lot. I loved his photo, his profile and his personality. When I met him he didn't look like his photo. Not only older, but also not as good looking. I liked his personality so much that I continued to date him, though. At some point he told me he had lied about his age so that he could get a younger woman and his secretary told him he should fess up. He was actually my same age. I commented on his hair one day asking him if he dyed it and he told me he didn't. It was that solid black color, too dark. Next time I saw him his hair wasn't dyed. It was close to the same color it had been dyed but was natural with a very few grey hairs in it. Much more attractive than his hair was dyed. I ended up calling off the R. Four years later he called me on his way through town and asked me to dinner. When I saw him he looked like his original photo, just older. Much better than he'd looked when I first met him. I figured out that the reason he looked different than his photo the first time I met him was because he'd had a bad face lift. Four years later his skin had relaxed and he looked like his photo! Guy had had a facelift, dyed his hair and lied about it and also lied about his age then signed up for OLD! Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted March 5, 2014 Share Posted March 5, 2014 I liked his personality so much that I continued to date him Next time I saw him his hair wasn't dyed. It was close to the same color it had been dyed but was natural with a very few grey hairs in it. Much more attractive. When I saw him he looked.... Much better than he'd looked when I first met him. Guy had had a facelift, dyed his hair and lied about it and also lied about his age Yet you liked him enough to continue dating him for a while because he had a great personality in addition to being a successful businessman with his own secretary. At your suggestion, he stopped dyeing his hair. If he had asked you to change your hair color would you? He looked even better when you saw him again years later. He didn't mistreat you or criticize your appearance. Unless you wanted to have a baby, his age was irrelevant. No, he committed the sin of trying to look good for a woman. No wonder men get discouraged about dating -- damned if they do and damned if they don't! Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted March 5, 2014 Share Posted March 5, 2014 Without having to read all the comments on this thread, this sounds extraordinarily bad. Lied about his age and cancels on you more than twice. Move on, he's yanking your chain. Link to post Share on other sites
Mo_Do Posted March 5, 2014 Share Posted March 5, 2014 I think in whole, online dating is a facade. Every picture, every write up, every message, text, phone call - it's all formed around the person you want to be dating. And this is the "person" you become interested in on the sites and through the messages. This all comes to a crashing halt the second you lay eyes on each other, then it becomes reality, and you have to deal with who the person actually is, and them, you. Link to post Share on other sites
babycakees Posted March 5, 2014 Share Posted March 5, 2014 Come on. You'd have to be seriously naive to believe another word this guy says to you. I almost stopped reading after the thing about his sister. This guy is one giant red flag. Cut off all contact now and run. NEXT!! Link to post Share on other sites
Khyla Posted March 5, 2014 Share Posted March 5, 2014 (edited) It's sad that you feel age is such a hindrance to your 'beauty'. Every year from now you will just get more insecure. I am 49 and am proud of it. I want to find men that love women of my age who are fit and attractive and it will just keep getting better and better. I dont see how I can explain it any better. I really am looking for/and need a very physical relationship with someone. Hubby and I had an extra-ordinary one, and I have been like a drug addict that had to suddenly go "cold-turkey" when he died (i've never done drugs, just using that as an analogy) Most guys that are my age or older are starting to "mellow" and even though my "skills" at gettin it up are exceptional, I just dont think they'd have the ability to keep up with me without some artificial/pharmaceutical help. So it's not so much that I feel insecure (I am proud to tell guys that are really my age or older how old I really am). It's that I feel afraid i'm never going to have a chance at finding another man who can take and give what I need to so badly if I display that number on OLD sites. Of course I would eventually divulge my real age. But I will continually subscribe to the "Age is just a number" sector. Edited March 5, 2014 by Khyla 1 Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted March 5, 2014 Share Posted March 5, 2014 Well, I have been tempted to tell a guy, look, if age is that important to you, then I'm fine if you tell everyone you know that I'm younger than I am... haha. Luckily I don't think it bothers guys as much as it bothers women. Think you would be best suited with a guy 10-15 younger but you resist. Now I'm gonna have start guessing how old you are. Link to post Share on other sites
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