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Guidance in sorting my thots abt MIL


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Posted

I am from India and live in India

 

Dear All,

This is the first time I am ever writing on a forum about anything. I have been married for a year now and my husband and I went out for 2 years previously.

 

She is nice to me so long as there is nothing related to she, me and my husband.

 

Due to work distance which really long I live in a hostel near my workplace while my husband lives with his family. He kind of has to because he is the eldest with no father and 2 siblings. Long story for why they cant move to where I love. However, he makes sure that visits me in the evening and spends sometime with me before i head to office.

I visit my MIL over the weekends, and here i where I have the problem. She always starts a fight when I and my husband go out alone. She has directly and indirectly shouted with anger because we are going out. So I and my hubby had an arrangement that we will go out alone only on saturdays and every sundays we go out as a family. And believe me when I say we go out as family sundays either for movies or dinner or simply atleast an icecream. most of which I spend for.

 

Today, we had a discussion where my MIL started with my hubby that I and him go out everywhere and never bother to take to the same places. She came out very strongly that my hubby should take her alone to movies/restaurants. And i Feel this is not right. I am always up for going as a family with my BIL & SIL and MIL,but alone, Im just not comfrotable and Iam unable to convince myself that what she is demanding is correct.

 

I know this is a very long email, but any thots wud be really helpful.

 

Thanks

Posted

I think your husband has a responsibility to fully commit to you, and not his mother. If your MIL has petty complaints, your H should let her know that his primary concern is his wife. Unfortunately, I think the fact that he chooses to remain living in his mother's household is a bad sign about his willingness to fully commit to you. Many women are able to raise children on their own, and don't need an elder son to assist.

 

 

I hope you are able to express your concerns to your H, and that he is receptive to your needs.

 

Best of luck.

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