CadeYeager Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 I can say after 1 month of being out of a 2 year relationship, it has not gotten better. I can't help but to believe everything that you SHOUlDNT believe such as: I'm not gonna find someone like or better than her I'm not good enough to keep a women happy I don't have a lot to offer I'm not attractive It was my fault Etc Etc Etc One think I DONT want to think about anymore is her sleeping with a new guy. When that crawls into my head I get sick. Literally. It's probably one of the staples keeping me from moving on. I know it's none of mine concern and trust me, I don't want it to be. But the thought are there. Is this normal?
lvroflife Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 These are normal!!! But yes give us the story, so we can better assist!!
Author CadeYeager Posted March 1, 2014 Author Posted March 1, 2014 How old are you? Why did she leave you? I am 21. She apparently said she no longer was happy. But I believe she has the GIGS. Let me tell you why I believe this. The break up was out of the blue. I was completely blindsided. The first time we broke up her excuse was stress from work, school, and family. Didn't make much sense to me because she been doing the exact same thing for the 2 years we were together. Got back together for a week until she did it again. The second excuse was that her parents didn't like me and how I didn't go to church (even though I told her I support her beliefs) Then we finally got together in person and she finally said she wasn't happy. I understand that situations are all different and maybe she doesn't have GIGS. But I will make note that she nearly checks off every tick box for "symptoms." Sure we had issues to work on, but by no means they weren't issues that couldn't be worked on.
iDrumKing Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 From the sounds of it she seems to have the GIG syndrome. But you never know. You just have to work through it
BDL Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 Girls don't break up with guys they love out of the blue. Something was missing or wrong in the relationship, and she slowly lost attraction or love for you. She had enough of what was wrong, told you about it enough times but you didnt get the hint or made the effort to fix it. Did you continue dating and courting her? Did you stand up for yourself and not let her take the driver's seat in the relationship? Think back to anything she may have said to you in passing. GIGS or not, she is out of your life now. The only thing you can or should do is let go of her and move on with your life. Become a better person, meet and date other girls. If she contacts you and wants to meet up, great! Then you can choose if you want her back, or not. If she doesnt contact you, great! You will have moved on and be in a happier place. 2
WYSWYG Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 CY, if this is any consolation, most, if not, all of us here has gone or is still going thru your pains as well. That emotional roller-coaster ride is brutal. We question life, our disposition. We feel empty and meaningless. Understand that it's a process you have to endure. There's a lot of posts here that can help ease the pain. As for her sleeping w/ another guy - here's my take: My ex slept w/ other guys before we met. Now, I lost my turn but it will be back w/ someone new. My future gf is currently sleeping w/ her future ex. C'est la vie, bro. If you let it, your imagination will paint ugly pictures that will hurt you. Get rid of that paintbrush in there. Why should we torture ourselves.......seriously, why??? Sex doesn't change one persons character. Sex can be bought. It's our possesiveness and sense of entitlement that kills us. Stay strong. 2
Author CadeYeager Posted March 1, 2014 Author Posted March 1, 2014 Girls don't break up with guys they love out of the blue. Something was missing or wrong in the relationship, and she slowly lost attraction or love for you. She had enough of what was wrong, told you about it enough times but you didnt get the hint or made the effort to fix it. That's the thing. Over the course of the two years I told her if there was anything wrong that I would want for her to open up to me about them so I can do anything possible to help. I got nothing.... Ever.
lauri Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 That's the thing. Over the course of the two years I told her if there was anything wrong that I would want for her to open up to me about them so I can do anything possible to help. I got nothing.... Ever. Hey man - don't be so hard on yourself. You gotta first and foremost regain your confidence...no girl will remain interested in you if you lack it and believe you aren't good enough. There is the first thing I noticed about your posts, you think you aren't good enough and that IS NOT TRUE. Second thing, you need to make sure you always maintain self-control...meaning control your emotions and don't contact her. Don't sit here and think it is completely your fault it is over...as a matter of fact, turn it around and think it is HER fault it is over. She chose to end it and not work on it, NOT you. She isn't going to fully "open" up to you about it because once you are on your way out, she is planning / looking for an excuse to end it or waiting until she finds someone new. She may give you small hints and signals here or there, but its hard to see them when you are in love. If you ever want to have a chance of getting back with her in the future, you need to not contact her and start to better yourself. You need to fully let her go and move on. If you contact her, she will be turned off because you are not a challenge / have no self control, and you will validate her feelings. I have my days, but staying NC is one of the best decisions I made for my healing process. Who knows, once you get to the point you are indifferent you may not think she is anything special anymore...but please whenever you have the urge to speak to her post here and we will be there with you. 2
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