krista28 Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 so theres this guy that I like. I hooked up with him..and we work together..i kinda had feelings from the first time we met and I thought something was special there. problem is hes kind of a player. hes 42 and im 29..i know its a weird thing...but theres a strange attraction I feel towards him..nobody really understands it. but its like magical..not even so much about looks but whenever I see him I feel it. at first it was partly physical but..i feel it even more now. problem is when we hooked up my ex friend told everyone..and I sent him a mssage on facebook because he wouldn't answer my texts after we got together..until my friend threatened him and texted him. she was kinda trying to sabatoge it too because she told him I was crazy and not to date me ( this girl was jealous from day 1). anwyays I see him at work now..he goes to the bar like every weekend..im sure to get women..and he just doesn't well he does notice me. whenever im at work he looks and notices me. somehow I have developed deep feelings for the guy and a lady at work even noticed how heartbroken I was about it. I texted him about a month ago, but that was the last time we talked. he said he was mad about my friend telling anyone and that we both were trouble and asked for no more contact. but we still look at eachother at work..i still have feelings for him..and I could be wrong but I think he might as well..i don't know if ive ever felt like this before..what do I do.
HappyLove Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 Move on. Leave him alone. Find a man who wants you. 2
stillafool Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 I agree. The guy called you and your friend trouble. He is looking at you because he can feel you looking at him. Leave him alone and find someone you do not work with.
Author krista28 Posted February 27, 2014 Author Posted February 27, 2014 Theres this guy from work that I hooked up with. Hes older than me and its only my second job. He kinda acted stupid about it and didnt talk to me. My friend who doesnt work there any more and isnt my friend anymore . She told everyone there what happened. He thinks were both trouble now and he wont forgive me. I still have feelings for him but hes hard to deal with and just recently stopped beung hostile to me. I know he still feelings for me cuz he looks at me but theres no way I can make it up to him....he wont really talk to me that much.. The guy is 42 and I am 29. I really liked him theres a crazy feeling between us. I think it might even be love..and no we never slept together on the first date. he sees me now and looks and i look at him..its hard.. it hurts..i know theres something there between us but hes being stubborn about it..
pickflicker Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 Guys aren't stubborn when they like a girl. They don't "resist" it, they go for it. If he's not chasing after you, chances are, he's not interested in you. Neithe gender needs any encouragement - when we want, we go for it. Simple.
David87 Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 I can guarantee that's not love. Maybe he likes you just a bit but he's definitely not crazy about you.
Assasda Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 Whatever you did you must have really pissed him off. Anyway, I suggest you having a platonic relationship and seeing if he actually likes you as a friend, if he likes you, you might get in his good graces and something romantic may happen
Leigh 87 Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 Krista..... this is the third or fourth thread you have made about a man who has not asked you out, is not striving to date you and who hasn't shown any actions that he is that into you. When a guy really likes a girl, he makes it known through key actions: - they ask you out. Period. Short of this ^^^, he simply DOESN'T like you all that much. He doesn't like you enough to ask you on a date. I have done some really off crap before with my ex and he still wanted to be with me for a good 2.5 years. I was just plain weird when he met me, years ago, I was socially retarded and he was the life of the party. I did A LOT of things wrong, MORE drama ensued that the crap that has happened between you and this guy. He still wanted to date me. And he was not all that crazy about me.. he just liked me ENOUGH to look past it all. He wasn't desperate either.... he felt there was something "about me" still that compelled him to want to get to know me better (AKA: date) This guy IS NOT INTO YOU. Please stop making threads about a guy who certainly wouldn't be thinking about you. 1
Leigh 87 Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 Check out her other topics she made about this guy. She has made about 3 - 4 threads about him and they are not even dating. Krista, I am sure you have a lot of good things going for you, but the way you are acting comes across REALLY badly.
David87 Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 Check out her other topics she made about this guy. She has made about 3 - 4 threads about him and they are not even dating. Krista, I am sure you have a lot of good things going for you, but the way you are acting comes across REALLY badly. Maybe she thinks she gets different answers.
MidwestUSA Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 Actually, the thread count is approaching twenty (but who's counting?!) Krista! Get your act together! How was your appointment with the therapist?
Phantom888 Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 Go see a therapist. You are obsessed with this older dude. He doesn't like you. He is trying to do his job. There is nothing special between you. Have some self respect and stay away from him. He's not good for you. 2
Leigh 87 Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 20 threads? Are you SURE? umm okay. I would never usually recommend this, but since you seem so sure that you "Have something special" with this guy, to the extent that you write 20 threads about him, why don't you just ask him about his feelings in a letter of email? Plain and simple. Say " I think we have something special, do you agree? I know we cannot be together after what has happened, but I can't help but think we have something special between us; can you please confirm whether or not this is just in my own head, or if you feel it too?" When the guy flat out TELLS you he is NOT into you and he DOES NOT Like you, will you then STOP making threads about him, get into therapy and stop ASSUMING you and this man "have something special"?
ExpatInItaly Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 Your fixation on this man is unhealthy and alarming. Honestly, you sound as though you're having delusions about what happened between you. (Notice how I used the past tense?) It's over and done with. 1
Leigh 87 Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 Your fixation on this man is unhealthy and alarming. Honestly, you sound as though you're having delusions about what happened between you. (Notice how I used the past tense?) It's over and done with. Yes. It even alarms me, and I been all kinds of crazy before when it comes to men... She should just tell him how she feels so she can then get he cold hard truth, and possible a visit to the HR department when he tells them about her.
snowflakes88 Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 I would recommend you print out all of the 20-something topics you've started about this man and bring them to the therapist you said you were going to get. You don't listen to anyone here -- perhaps you'd listen to a professional.
stillafool Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 Please, please leave this guy alone. He may think you are a psycho. I read some of your other threads and it is quite clear he is not interested in you. I agree it is time for you to seek professional help. You may want to look for another job as that may be the only way for you to get over this obsession. It's leading you no where.
Noproblem Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 I feel you Krista Is hard, and no one seems to understand that. You like him soo much and you know it's there, he likes you too, but again he is not doing anything..... It's because he is a player, he likes every girl......That's why he is a player..... I hope you can ignore him and let go of your feelings toward him, he is unworthy of your feelings..... You will find another...... Just let go of this one.....It's hard specially when he is always in front of you, but it can happen
Author krista28 Posted March 1, 2014 Author Posted March 1, 2014 Okay so about 3 months ago i hooked up with a guy from work. i really liked him and we had hungout a couple of times. anyhow we ended up sleeping together and he screwed me over and wouldnt talk to me afterwards. it turned into a huge drama. my "friend;" told everyone at work... time has passed people know im still hungup on him but i try not to be. anyhow i signed up for plenty of fish and was trying to move on..just kinda to meet guys but not seriously...and he saw me and started messaging me( even though he didnt know i knew who he was he had his picture hidden) and he said i hope you meet someone good you look fun! then he said like have you met mister wonderful yet? i guess ppl at work were making him feel guilty for what he had done. i feel really pathetic he saw me online dating and that he said i hope u meet someone good. like so pathetic and i have to work with him tomorrow...
bolase Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 Hey, as someone who also dated someone from work without a good ending, but with less drama from the sounds of it, I would make a change in your life that makes you feel better. A new job (I'm still at mine, it's testing at times but it's an amazing job so I'll stay til my contract ends), move cities or towns, take up a new hobby, take lessons in your old hobbies.. He seems to feel guilty but he's not worth your friendship anyway, what kind of dork writes to your online profile to hope you find someone when you're not even friends that would annoy the hell out of me. He doesn't have a clue. Don't respond. At least you know he doesn't have a girlfriend either..you're making too much of this guy, giving him too much power over you. You must have been attracted to him an I know it's hard to turn that off but wen you meet or date other guys where there's a spark or some potential this will diminish him in your mind, and who cares what others think, you don't want him back because he isn't genuinely into you. Til then do date, try tinder, practice flirting, and be normal as possible around him without being too friendly.
Noproblem Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 Next time tell him, anyone would be better than you, you know! 1
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 Im going to play devils advocate here... i think he does like u, he wouldnt go to those lengths if he didnt... give him a wide berth and see what happens x
morrowrd Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 Theres a lot of self esteem issues going on with you, and I recommend you start protecting yourself a little better. You got burned, join the club, it's a pretty big one. You have nothing to be ashamed about, this piece of crap however, does. He betrayed you, don't forget it, don't forgive either just because he secretly messages you online while out in public, humiliates you. You need to use your boundaries like walls of protection, right now you need them. While at work, turn off your emotions while around him, around your so-called "friend" who embarrassed you, and around anyone else who is talking about this awkward situation. While around these people, dismiss their comments by changing the subject, or smiling and saying something that changes the subject. Your little soap opera will disappear like steam, just as long as you act like its not a big deal, and that you don't want to waste your time talking about it. As for the guy messaging you, ignore him. Don't respond, and he will get the message and leave you alone. 2
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