Chocolat Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 Does he know your full name? Your address? Your real phone number? His behavior alarms me. I would exit quickly. 3
OhThatGirl Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 I LOL'd at first... Uh but this isn't funny. I'd have a straightforward discussion with him using clear words like "unacceptable, uncomfortable, inappropriate" and in no uncertain terms tell him his behavior after one coffee date makes it obvious you are not on the same page and do not move at the same speed. At this point I'd say it's best to cut things off entirely and keep your fingers crossed he respects that. 2
Phantom888 Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 (edited) Any guy who comments about how hot he is during a conversation with a new date is totally lame. I mean, guys who put so much emphasis on looks is rather shallow. I am a bit old fashioned, so I believe a man is attractive through his abilities and his ways. Looks can only take a man so far... IMHO. As for his weirdness.....what can I say? There is a reason why he is 39 and never married. Edited March 4, 2014 by Phantom888
Author Mommame2 Posted March 4, 2014 Author Posted March 4, 2014 Do you think that I could do this via text or should we have a phone call? I'm just really nervous about doing this in person or even live on the phone. I feel like he's going to melt down on me.... And this is really sad...because he looks like a model....gorgeous. And he sent me photos of himself...ALL Of him...he is AMAZING. But, I just can't seem to get past any of this. I am much more attracted to the successful not as handsome guy.... I like brains etc... and that clearly didn't serve me well the LAST time..with Mr. CEO. So... I'm back to the drawing board. BTW -- Mr. CEO (for those who have followed that) texted me today wanting to know when I was going to get a reporter over to cover his company today. Yes... he is THAT self absorbed. Apparently it doesn't matter that he totally screwed me over.
MidwestUSA Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 A text is fine at this stage. Don't let him make you believe you owe him anything.
RedRobin Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 I had a similar situation last year... the guy stalked me on and off for months. In my situation, he was an acquaintance of a friend, so it wasn't like I could hide my last name or where I lived. Yes, I'd recommend you politely tell him you aren't on the same page and wish him luck. If he continues, then just tell him not to contact you. In the future, I'd recommend Google Voice. The numbers are anonymous... you can set it up to ring or text your regular phone. It also can send you an email... so if someone decides to go overboard with the calls/texts, you have a permanent record. Edited: so much for taking Mr. Gorgeous to the Weasel party. Bummer. I'd still go to the Weasel party if it were a large event. You never know who you can meet!!
J21 Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 Do you think that I could do this via text or should we have a phone call? Definitely text. You are nervous just thinking about it and he's showing a ton of red flags. In complete honesty, you don't even owe him a text. You guys met for one coffee together.
babycakees Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 (edited) This guy is crazy!!! RUNN!! Edited March 4, 2014 by babycakees
Author Mommame2 Posted March 5, 2014 Author Posted March 5, 2014 (edited) So I didn't reply to text messages quickly today and he got upset. I told him I think we need to take "a breather". This was part of his response: "just stand strong with me like we promised each other and don't waver again like before ... I'm sorry something made you lean this way... For the record your strength and faith in us with me recently meant a hell of a lot to me. Hate to see you go off your initial words but I am now forced to adjust." I didn't reply to that text. Although he wanted to talk via phone ASAP. The other thing I noticed: I told him I got called a nickname when I was a kid. He then started calling me that. I told him that I didn't like it. He said I do that because I want you to know when I'm talking to you like you are a child ... In a bit of a dominating way. But "it's not mean bit it's just how I see you at times". That ticked me off. I've only had coffee with him. 30 minutes. Never touched him. Texted with him about a week. Edited March 5, 2014 by Mommame2
Emilia Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Welcome to the wonderful world of Borderline Personality Disorder I'm pretty sure that's what you are talking about. He is VERY unstable. Cut contact and block his number. Right now. 2
J21 Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 So I didn't reply to text messages quickly today and he got upset. I told him I think we need to take "a breather". This was part of his response: "just stand strong with me like we promised each other and don't waver again like before ... I'm sorry something made you lean this way... For the record your strength and faith in us with me recently meant a hell of a lot to me. Hate to see you go off your initial words but I am now forced to adjust." I didn't reply to that text. Although he wanted to talk via phone ASAP. The other thing I noticed: I told him I got called a nickname when I was a kid. He then started calling me that. I told him that I didn't like it. He said I do that because I want you to know when I'm talking to you like you are a child ... In a bit of a dominating way. But "it's not mean bit it's just how I see you at times". That ticked me off. I've only had coffee with him. 30 minutes. Never touched him. Texted with him about a week. He really sounds legit crazy. Cut all contact!!!
GoreSP Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 I took the advice on here and started meeting some other guys from OLD. I had been texting with a very, very attractive guy and finally met him yesterday. He was even more gorgeous in person. Absolutely insane body ... Well he seemed nice although not as smart as my previous disaster guy. Anyway on the phone tonight we talked about going to dinner. I told him i preferred going to the first restaurant he offered up because I knew a lot of people at the other one. I said I like having some quiet alone time. He joked and said "oh don't worry they won't even notice you they will just be asking who that hot guy that your with is.." He laughed it off and said he was just joking. Then said he thought we were both beautiful people and could have amazing looking babies if it all worked out. Thoughts? Am I just too sensitive? Was that just a laugh or no...? Stop overthinking everything. Go to the date. See if there is a connection. Have fun. Enjoy yourself.
GoreSP Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 So this guy and I have only gone to coffee. He is GORG! But things have gotten weird IMO. He went out of town and went to hang with some friends. But that night he apparently called me at 12:30. I didn't take call. Phone was off. The next am he was telling me he was upset because he needed me and that what's the point of having a girlfriend if you can't reach them on the phone. I told him I was just asleep and he said we felt distant. He went on and on about our potential and how he could see marrying me if this all works out right. That he's made a commitment to try 100 percent with me and expects the same and that I don't waver from my word. (I did blow off his first few invitations to coffee because he seemed to be head over heels on me before meeting me in person). Well this am he started telling me that he has sleep paralysis and he woke up in the middle of the night but unable to move his body. That he felt trapped and that he bit his tongue because he was so so scared. And he needed to talk to me because he needs someone to share with.., says it has happened about 100 times in 20 years. He is 39. Never married. I just don't know if I can continue talking to him despite how gorgeous. He seems unstable. Am I too judgmental? I am again new to dating. But on the surface he looks so hot and put together... But this stuff just sounds bizarre. You dumped the other guy because he wouldn't commit after two weeks and now you are dumping the one that obviously wants to commit after a week(ish) Moreso, you come on this forum to ask us what you should do. Maybe you shouldn't be dating at all.
MidwestUSA Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Welcome to the wonderful world of Borderline Personality Disorder I'm pretty sure that's what you are talking about. He is VERY unstable. Cut contact and block his number. Right now. ^^Yep!^^ Emilia called it. 1
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