Ex wants to be back together [update: not taking her back!]

[Driftking102]

Ex wants to be back together. After the fling date on friday and the kiss, I am keeping those away from my ex because they meant nothing considering the girl hasnt texted me back yet. I told my ex there are some serious issues that we have to work out and I want to be the ONE. I don't want to play anymore games. That means being public and being introduced to family and friends and eventually getting married. Not being married right away because that's to much pressure. I also want to be taken seriously.

 

She is going to think all weekend about this, but I am done just being the boyfriend. I want to be more then that. Also we were not together when I kissed the other girl so I don't verify that as cheating.

[melell]

You might get most constructive responses posting this in 'second chances'.

 

All I can say is if she really, really wanted to get back together, she most likely wouldn't require the weekend to think about it. She would be wanting the same things as you.

 

Good for you for standing your ground, but I wouldn't get too excited.

[pickflicker]

These things don't require "thinking about". Also the relationship only ended recently, didn't it? It's a bad idea.

[Driftking102]

Yes it did. She was very abusive emotionally but she says she is going to change. I love her so much and i believe her.

[pickflicker]

Yes it did. She was very abusive emotionally but she says she is going to change. I love her so much and i believe her.

 

Emotionally abusive people do not change in 5 minutes. It's my belief they do not change at all. Don't do this.

 

EDIT: now I remember you. Just checked out your threads. You want to ruin your life, go for it. But getting back with her would be the worst decision you'll ever make.

Edited March 1, 2014 by pickflicker

[Driftking102]

We will see. I made it so she would never say yes i want to get back together because some of my criteria's are only normal people would take. My criteria is a normal person's relationship and not what she thinks so im not to worried about it. If she says yes to all those things and i am the one then ill be really surprised. I told her im either the one or im not in her life at all.

[pickflicker]

We will see. I made it so she would never say yes i want to get back together because some of my criteria's are only normal people would take. My criteria is a normal person's relationship and not what she thinks so im not to worried about it. If she says yes to all those things and i am the one then ill be really surprised. I told her im either the one or im not in her life at all.

 

For Christ's sake, the woman is a freak. Walk, don't run.

[Kitchen]

I don't usually give advice unless I feel like I have something meaningful to contribute.

 

DON'T GET BACK TOGETHER WITH HER.

 

It won't work. I know this because I too once dated a girl who was a) emotionally abusive and b) didn't want to go public. So I know your ex's type very well.

 

The best thing that ever happened in my relationship with that girl was when I cut her off for good. The first few months sucked, but it got much better over time. It's been like 5 years and I've had another relationship (and breakup) since then. I cannot believe that I was stupid enough, silly enough, horny enough to have dated that nutcase. After all these years I have much better perspective and I see her for who she really was - an incredibly insecure unattractive person.

 

PM if you want to talk further. But trust me on this: just walk away. You are in a great position because right now you have the upper hand, since she's the one who asked you out. Hold on to your power and walk away! If some comes back after "thinking" and says yes, just tell her you changed your mind and you don't want anything.

[Driftking102]

After lots of long talks with the ex and told her why i wanted things to be the way they were, we are not getting back together. I told her unless she was willing to make the relationship public meaning tell our family and friends then that is the only way I will get back together. I told her she should be proud of who she is, who she is with, and just overall be happy. She was seeing a counselor before but recently stopped going a year ago half way through our relationship.

 

The last text message she said was that we had something special and she truly knew that I loved her for her. She never mentioned loving me or anything like that. She said she loved me many times before and when we were having sex told me that our connection with sex was different because it was spiritual and physical. At least I have finally killed it and hopefully she will not want to get back together with me. I told her no breakup sex, no nothing. Hopefully she does not contact me back unless shes ready to love herself for who she is and be able to be in a public relationship with me. I told her to really work on herself and I want the world to see what I saw in her. I told her she was also amazing and wonderful and i wish things could have been different and we would have been public and super in love more then we were. I am glad I got to know her and have a sexual relationship with her either way. Its an experience that I will never forget and not regret.

[Driftking102]

So many of you know that i am not getting back together with my ex. She sent a text to me yesterday saying she can't do what I requested which was to make our relationship public and let her family know about me. She is a wonderful girl with amazing qualities and will always have a place in my heart. I messaged (on facebook) both her brother (which i meant only once) and her sister. I told them how awesome she was and about our history. I also mentioned that I would be totally willing to get back together if she was wanting to make the relationship public and let me meet her family on a deeper level.

 

I had always tried to please her and did everything I could, but we have different goals and aspirations. I told her bro and sis that she is very special and that I wanted them to make sure who ever she ends up with knows that she is awesome and treats her better then I did. I gave 200% everyday and truly deeply loved her. I did nothing wrong, never cheated on her or anything. We broke up two weeks ago and yesterday was the final goodbye text. She wanted to be friends, but I said that was not possible because I loved her and I wanted to be the one. She didn't think I was the one, so we are finally doing no contact.

 

She has depression, and stopped seeing her counselor a year into our relationship. I really hope she goes back. I told her that if she works on herself and still wants to be with me to come find me, but I can't be with someone who is not proud of me and our relationship as a whole. She never mentioned in the text that she loved me. All she said was she knew that I truly loved her and said our relationship was special.

 

Time to let her spread her wings and go on exploring life without me. I did the right thing. We had been together for 2 years almost. Plus we grew up together in high school.