Hesjustnotthatin2u Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 I've been out with this guy two times now after meeting him on Match. The first time he ever asked me a few months ago, his approach was, 'I'm going to be in your area mudding with some of my friends, you should come!'. Besides from having no interest in 'mudding', whatever that is, I thought it was kind of weird for him to ask me to meet eachother for the first time with his friends. I declined. We kept in touch and ended up meeting for drinks locally one night. It went great I thought. A week later he contacted me again and asked if I'd like to come out with some of his friends in his area and that he'd pick me up. Before getting scared away by meeting all his friends, I figured sure why not, I had a great time with him, how bad could it be. Well, last minute, his friends bailed, and it ended up just being us. We had an even better time and things seemed like they were going somewhere. This was the first night we kissed and it was pretty good. Two weeks later from then, we have kept it touch, but yet he always wants to hang out with me and his friends. He asked me last night what I was doing this weekend and said Friday night he's going to the movies with his friends and his friends girlfriends and that I should come, or he said I could come out Saturday night for his friends surprise party. Now look, I'm no hermit crab and I'm not trying to veer away from his friends, but come on.. can we can to know each other a bit one on one? Why does everything have to be with his friends? Or am I being friend-zoned.. which wouldn't make sense considering he kissed me.
Leigh 87 Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 He's not that into you. If a guy really feels it for a woman, he will want to be alone with her and have her all to himself... There is a small chance that he could want to get to know any women he meets in a more casual setting to ease the pressure of a "date". Once he ses potential he progresses to the one on ones. That is a potential reason ^^^ but in my honest opinion, he is just not that into you.
writergal Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 (edited) This scenario actually happened to me in college with a guy I really liked. Our first date consisted of me going over to his house to hang out and watch a movie and eat dinner with him and his roommates. Not a date. Turns out he wasn't interested in me romantically, but just as a friend. He probably shouldn't have flirted with me and kissed me before the date, at the party we met at when we were both 20. Your guy isn't into you or he wouldn't be afraid to go on solo dates with just you. He's trying to friend zone you already, inviting you out with his group of friends. The only way you're going to find out WHY he's doing this is to just be blunt. Ask him if he is interested in dating you romantically or if he just feels a friend vibe. Let him know that the group dates he's inviting you on send you mixed signals and that you need some clarification, so that you know what you're getting yourself into. FYI: men kiss their female friends all the time, and send mixed messages because they're horny bastards. It's in their genes. Women have to take the reigns and create the boundaries in male-female relationships. It's annoying, but it's a fact of life. If men had their way, they'd subsist on casual sex with their female friends and never make a real commitment. Doesn't matter that your date kissed you OP. He could still just consider you a friend whom he wants benefits from if he doesn't view you as long-term relationship material. If you don't let him know what your expectations are, you'll continue being invited out on group dates, not knowing what he wants from you. Edited March 1, 2014 by writergal
veggirl Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 I don't think he is friend zoning you...... I think a guy would just not invite you out at all rather than friend zone you. I think he is either inexperienced and nervous, therefore using his friends as a buffer or he is purposely keeping things casual so that maybe you'll bang him but won't expect a relationship. I'd guess the former though. 1
Noproblem Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 No, I think he is interested in you. He just either can't function well without his friends and their support or he love his friends so much.
Barbarossa Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 He's probably just an extrovert and wants to be in groups most of the time. 1
acrosstheuniverse Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 It's a little premature to be meeting the friends I feel, my current new bf asked me to go with him and his friends to a gig after the first date and I declined as I would rather get to know him first than have to focus on him and also trying to make a good impression on all of his friends. When I declined be asked me on another solo date. Let him make the effort to take you out one on one. If he likes you enough he will sacrifice seeing his buddies a couple times a week to get you all to himself.
yankees51988 Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 He's probably just an extrovert and wants to be in groups most of the time. This. I'd much rather go out to a concert, bar, or party with a girl than some romantic dinner. At least go hiking/snowboarding/etc. I want to see if she is fun and while maybe doing a dinner first that isn't really my idea of a good time, I pretty much am going out to eat cause I am hungry. As long as it isn't the only thing we do I'd rather get to know her by going out and doing fun things and if we hook up or hit it off then maybe it can get more serious to the point that we are going out to dinner. However, I don't want to take some girl out to dinner the first time I ever met her and pay for all her stuff when I don't even know if I will be into her. Dinner comes later when things are a little more serious, otherwise I'd rather just do fun stuff- sometimes alone, sometimes with a group.
FitChick Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 You can do everything with one other person that you can do with a group. Have some things in mind to do when he offers the next group date: "I'm not really interested in ______ but how about going bike riding/hiking/to a museum?" etc. Then pray he doesn't invite his friends.
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