Colleen Posted January 23, 2005 Posted January 23, 2005 Okay so I had wrote about how my boyfriend and I broke up, and was heartbroken. Well tomorow will be two weeks since the break-up. I talked to him today and I was complaining how my computer was running wierd ( he is really great with computers) so, he offered to come over MOnday and look at it , and come iwth me to get parts. I just htought it's so odd because just the other day he wouldn't really talk to me..what's going on?? Is this good?? I am hoping we can really work things out ..How should I act around him when I see him?? Help!!
Barby Posted January 23, 2005 Posted January 23, 2005 Not to rain on your parade, but he could just be being nice, you are an ex who's having comp problems, he knows about comps so he offered to help. Don't read too much into it! And act casual, like he's just another friend...unless of course he acts diff.
UCFKevin Posted January 23, 2005 Posted January 23, 2005 Precisely. Could be nothing, could be something. Don't assume a thing and don't act different. Just be natural.
Broken3112 Posted January 23, 2005 Posted January 23, 2005 Thanks Colleen for posting in my thread.....did you and your boyfriend breakup mutually? Sorry didn't look up your old posts. Offering to go WITH you to get parts seems like something. He could go get them himself or give you a list of stuff to get. Unless its a money thing. But don't bank on it....like they said act natural. Maybe don't talk about your relationship...just talk about the comp - if there's anything on his mind I'm sure he'll end up saying it. Good Luck!
Author Colleen Posted January 23, 2005 Author Posted January 23, 2005 Broken- It was his decision to break up. And helping me get parts has nothing to do with money, He offered to go with me because I know nothing about computers. As for lettnig him bring things up , thats kinda hard. I was thinkin I would because for once I would see him in person not over the phone..? Good Idea?
Barby Posted January 23, 2005 Posted January 23, 2005 I don't know why you'd bring up getting back together if he just recently wouldn't talk to you. However if indeed you are determined to bring up getting back together, don't be suprised if he's against the idea....I honestly wish you only the best of luck and hope you will indeed keep us updated!
CurlyIam Posted January 23, 2005 Posted January 23, 2005 You're really lucky to have such an ex bf. I was in the middle of my exams, my puter broke down, was all alone - I went to study abroad so it was difficult to keep in touch with my ancient male computer litterate friends... anyway, I really needed my pc for a big project... Guess what!!! "You don't actually expect me to come to YOUR place and help you". I thought "No, you son af a b****, if you can do it from where you are , that would be perfect". Be greatful you didn't date a jerk and just don't ruin it. To me, although I was the main cause of the break -up(mutual), it was damn important to still be friends with him, to have some kind of closure. Trust me, don't bring anything up. You don't wanna go there. Treasure whatever form of relationship you have. It is an important part of the healing process. "By gone"s are "by gone"s. Look at the future, not at the past and at how things were or could have been, but at how things are. You're a lucky girl.
Author Colleen Posted January 23, 2005 Author Posted January 23, 2005 I don't consider myself lucky. If i was lucky i wouldn't be in this mes..And being freinds with him is just too hard..I still have feelings that he obviously doesn't for me.
CurlyIam Posted January 23, 2005 Posted January 23, 2005 Hey girl, I feel for you! Cheer up!! You know what they say: "You can't always win and you can't always lose" At least you have him in your life. Trust me, no contact when you still don't have all your feelings sorted out is baaad! Smile and take it like a man !
imokurnot Posted January 23, 2005 Posted January 23, 2005 I have a question. Really anyone can answer but it's regarding the NC thing when feelings aren't resolved. What about from the dumpers point of view. If she dumped me and has found someone else, yet still says she loves me and it is hard to see me because she has feelings and it hurts her. She says when she is alone and think ofall she has thrown away she cries her hear tout etc. I am still talking to her and helping her and being nice. Am I doing the wrong thing? I don't want to go NC and have her just move on easier and forget me with this other guy. But then again I don't want to be taken for granted and her have me as a security blanket either. Mine is a tough one and complete NC seems too harsh but then maybe I am being to nice and too available to her as well. Any solid advice? Backgound.....7 yr relationship. She cheated with this guy she is now with. He is her best friends cousin. In the past week he has let her down and dissapointed her and she cried to me about it. No specifics just that he dissapointed her greatly. She has said she loves me and stressed it. Because she says, she wants me to know that she does and thought I had been doubting that she actually did. She came over and cried on my bed as I held her and under her breathe she says "I miss you so much". When I told her I missed her too, she said "you heard that?" "You weren't supposed to hear that." Etc. She has told mejust a couple of weeks ago that her friends tell her they would be happy no matter who she chose (wow I didn't even know I was still in the running) but that she knows they don't mean that. She also has said that if she got back together with me it would be her and I against the world and she is not strong enough for that right now. There is tons more info so if you have any questions ask away Thanks!
CurlyIam Posted January 23, 2005 Posted January 23, 2005 Oh, I know what you are saying. My former relationship was a 4 years and a half one. You see, it's very hard to separate the fact that you're just so used to someone, someone who knows you, someone who loves you and actually being inlove with this person. Once the love is gone or the 2 people grow apart, you have to let everything go. You have to let the past be the past. You are right about someone getting used. Usually the dumped one. There's a very hard to equilibrium to keep between having closure, keeping the balance... and not getting used. Sometimes, NC is best. IMO... I feel so sad. I mean, there you are, having a man you knew and treasured for so long, totally out of your life... I don't feel it's fair. But then, both people need to move on emotionally. I have. Keeping that friend in my life is very important to me. It is not possible. He can't. And I respect that. But I still don't think it's fair.
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