RedRobin Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 Kaylan, if I remember correctly you were writing in another thread about expectations on a future wife working vs. child rearing, marriage, etc. So I assume marriage and a family is something you're interested in. How do you get there, from where you are now? Yea Kaylan... I have the same question... ... and another.... would you consider a future woman for marriage who had ONS with men she met on Tinder before she met you?? You are 27 now? Why aren't you looking for a relationship?? Why Tinder?
lino Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 2 page discussion on how to move on... im pretty sure the girl is not going to cry over you not calling her again, probably already sleeping with another guy This is pretty much it. I know f*ck all about this tinder thing but in the real world, a one night stand doesn't need a deep n meaningful ending. A nice thanks but no thanks is enough I reckon.
Author kaylan Posted March 3, 2014 Author Posted March 3, 2014 Yea Kaylan... I have the same question... ... and another.... would you consider a future woman for marriage who had ONS with men she met on Tinder before she met you?? You are 27 now? Why aren't you looking for a relationship?? Why Tinder? I dont mind if a woman has a past similar to mine. I understand that sometimes people arent in the right place in life for a relationship, but still have a desire for sex and companionship. I use Tinder because its easier to meet women in the burbs with it, considering the smaller population. Plus I dont have to always go out to bars or clubs, or simply rely on chance meetings. Thats why online datings and dating apps are helpful. Why am I not looking for a relationship? Because there are still things I want to be able to focus on. I just dont feel emotionally ready to put my eggs in one basket. Plus in all seriousness, Id make a pretty bad bf at this point in time haha.
Author kaylan Posted March 7, 2014 Author Posted March 7, 2014 (edited) UPDATE: Oh boy. So the convo didnt go that well. Here is a screencap of the convo. I pulled it from an XML file I created from our text convo. Im in red text (And I did think to call her, but seeing as we only talk through text and have had only one phone convo, I thought text was ok...since it was a nonserious FWB thing.) http://oi60.tinypic.com/65o9ck.jpg (serena is her dog btw) Ladies, should I do anything else? Should I even try to remain on speaking terms or be friends? She is a cool chick, but I dont really wanna do the sex thing any longer. I broke the news the way I did, because I felt simply saying "hey I dont feel chemistry" might make her feel unattractive. Based on the response I got, what I said to her wasnt much better. But at least I wasnt lying to her...I just left out the chemistry part. What confuses me though is that she said I made her feel like a whore. But come on...she was quickly sending me pics, and she really made it seem like the first night I was coming over was mainly for sex, even though we did chill and stuff as well. I didnt really understand her advice to me and what not to do on a first date. =/ Anyways, this is the second time Ive done the first meet sex thing. The previous time was almost 4 years ago. Im not saying Im against FWB or quickly hooking up...Im saying that Ive learned that first night romps dont work for me to well. Edited March 7, 2014 by kaylan
Leigh 87 Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 UPDATE: Oh boy. So the convo didnt go that well. Here is a screencap of the convo. I pulled it from an XML file I created from our text convo. Im in red text (And I did think to call her, but seeing as we only talk through text and have had only one phone convo, I thought text was ok...since it was a nonserious FWB thing.) http://oi60.tinypic.com/65o9ck.jpg (serena is her dog btw) Ladies, should I do anything else? Should I even try to remain on speaking terms or be friends? She is a cool chick, but I dont really wanna do the sex thing any longer. I broke the news the way I did, because I felt simply saying "hey I dont feel chemistry" might make her feel unattractive. Based on the response I got, what I said to her wasnt much better. But at least I wasnt lying to her...I just left out the chemistry part. What confuses me though is that she said I made her feel like a whore. But come on...she was quickly sending me pics, and she really made it seem like the first night I was coming over was mainly for sex, even though we did chill and stuff as well. I didnt really understand her advice to me and what not to do on a first date. =/ Sorry, but she was concerned about "coming across like a whore" yet she was sending naked pics to a total stranger? Not saying she is a whore, I don't know her, but come on now. She needs to learn that she can't act that way and then be alarmed and upset when a guy treats her like she is a little loose. I thought your texts were totally nice. It wouldn't have offended me. It is a million times nicer than pulling the disappearing act, I would have respected you for NOT pulling that or the fade... Most guys pull the fade. Not many guys are actually upfront or honest.
Author kaylan Posted March 7, 2014 Author Posted March 7, 2014 Sorry, but she was concerned about "coming across like a whore" yet she was sending naked pics to a total stranger? Not saying she is a whore, I don't know her, but come on now. She needs to learn that she can't act that way and then be alarmed and upset when a guy treats her like she is a little loose. Im not treating her like shes loose. Shes acting like my desire to end the sex is because we had sex quickly and all the other stuff. Its not about that...I just felt off afterwards, and didnt feel much chemistry. Thats my fault though because we should have at least had a couple hangouts first to gauge chemistry before I jumped into things. I thought your texts were totally nice. It wouldn't have offended me. It is a million times nicer than pulling the disappearing act, I would have respected you for NOT pulling that or the fade... Most guys pull the fade. Not many guys are actually upfront or honest. Should I still try and text her and talk to her? I kinda feel awkward after our little talk and feel she prolly wouldnt want me to.
Ruby Slippers Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 I commend you for explaining how you feel about things and being honest. I think you're being very considerate, and she's "crossing the street", as they say in therapy lingo. It's not your fault that she "feels like a whore". She's trying to blame her feelings on you because she feels rejected and wants to blame anybody but herself for the situation. She made a choice to have sex with a guy she just met, and that's on her. As for whether to text her or see her again, that's up to you. You don't owe her anything beyond the explanation you gave.
Leigh 87 Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 Im not treating her like shes loose. Shes acting like my desire to end the sex is because we had sex quickly and all the other stuff. Its not about that...I just felt off afterwards, and didnt feel much chemistry. Thats my fault though because we should have at least had a couple hangouts first to gauge chemistry before I jumped into things. Should I still try and text her and talk to her? I kinda feel awkward after our little talk and feel she prolly wouldnt want me to. No, you DIDN'T treat her like a whore. You actually acted decently, unlike most men who enjoy casual sex. It is a little ironic in the way that she seems to be very sensitive to being perceived as "loose" and yet she happily sent you sexy pics and agreed to sleep with you before you actually met. I personally don't judge a person just because they engage in casual sex and send explicit pictures to people whom they don't know well, but a lot of people WILL make assumptions if you act in that way. She is unnerved by men who allude to her being a whore. Yet she sent sexy pics and agreed to sleep with you before you even met. She cannot expect all men to NOT suspect that she "sleeps around", based on the way she acted. I would leave it for now. She probably already feels rejected. There is not a nice way to go about rejection, it just plain sucks for most women.
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