chubachoop Posted January 22, 2005 Posted January 22, 2005 I have recently started a long distance relationship with a guy ive been friends with for years. I have had intuitions about him since I met him, that he is the man I am going to marry etc. Every time I get serious about a guy, I have doubts cos I think i should be with him. For the last year or so I have known that he is perfect for me in every way and would be my ideal life partner. The sexual attraction has never been very strong though so Ive never tried to make us anything more than friends. Now though we are together and Ive found he feels the same way about me, Im really happy, I think about him all the time, when we kissed it felt so right and I am attracted to him. The problem is though before christmas I was involved in a relationship with my flatmate who has a girlfriend. The sexual attraction was so strong between us. I became extremely close to him and I still am. Even though I dont feel any desire to be with him now he is my closest confident. He knows everything about me, I spend all my time with him. He is the person I hug when I am down, when I am happy. It is my current boyfriend that I want to be with, he is everything I have dreamed of in a man but Im worried about the fact that I was more attracted to my flatmate and about the fact that Im still so emotionally close to my flatmate. Hes like my best friend, Im away from home so we are like family to each other, I dont feel sexual towards him anymore. What do people think of my situation? Can sexual attraction develop when you fall in love with someone? it is there, but not very strong which upsets me.
Chrono Posted January 23, 2005 Posted January 23, 2005 I didn't totally understand your situation cause I was skimming it. Sry bout that. I can tall you though that love does not always need sexual attraction. I have fallen in love with people not by their looks, but their personallity. Hope this helps you a bit... -Chrono
Author chubachoop Posted January 23, 2005 Author Posted January 23, 2005 yes it does thank you. i do fnd him good looking and i do fancy him i just worry that i fancied others before him more? and im worried, is it wrong to have a very close emotional attachment to an ex? even if u dont even fancy your ex anymore you just need a hug sometimes ?
moimeme Posted January 23, 2005 Posted January 23, 2005 he is my closest confident. He knows everything about me, I spend all my time with him. He is the person I hug when I am down, when I am happy The relationship you describe having with the 'ex' is the type of relationship you should have with your bf. It is he to whom you ought to be closest and he to whom you ought to turn when you're happy or sad. If you by 'everything I have dreamed of in a man' means that the bf has more money and a better job, that's not enough. Tell him goodbye and take up with the 'ex'.
Author chubachoop Posted January 24, 2005 Author Posted January 24, 2005 Thats not it at all. U have totally misunderstood. Ive kinda figured it out now anyway. But i just wanted to put the record straight and say, money and status doesnt appear on my list of traits in an ideal partner but personality and compatibility
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