Musing Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 I have no idea what my ex is up to. I purposely avoid him...like the plague. I know what my life is like a few weeks without any mention/view/anything from him. It's pretty nice, I feel calm and relaxed. The first few weeks were actually easy. When I saw him after 3 weeks I hit rock bottom and it took me a little while to collect myself, but now I'm feeling great again. But my mind can wonder. It often does. I have a huge imagination. And since it's nearly two months, my brain decides to remind me that he is probably 100% over it by now and seeing someone else. Yeah, I have no way of knowing but this thought alone pretty much stings me. That he's over it and my former place is taken by someone else. It makes me feel...disgusted. Surreal. Vengeful. Replaced. Angry. I can't really describe it. Just all around awful. And I don't think it is because I miss him, but because I, like every other human, have an ego. How can I be replaced? Really? Hey, I'm being honest. I'm still pretty bitter. This, ladies and gentleman, is the exact reason I refuse to do so much as lift a finger to contact him. Because this feeling makes me feel every negative emotion rolled into one. Haven't done anything, no tears, no nothing. Just angst. I wish I could forget him. My days are so much better when there is no trace of him including in my mind. I can't wait for this to become my "norm". I'm hoping that will be soon. Bleghghg:sick:
StringsAttached Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 I know what you mean. I want to stalk her so bad...but I know i'd be better off putting my hand on the stove, so my mind wanders. What I found is that I think about her more when i'm bored and have nothing to do. So in those situations I workout/watch a good TV series/Eat/go for a walk. It's like quitting smoking. Gradually the cravings are less intense.
LostConfused123 Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 Same boat Wish the fleeting thoughts would vanish. And soon!!!
Author Musing Posted March 1, 2014 Author Posted March 1, 2014 I know what you mean. I want to stalk her so bad...but I know i'd be better off putting my hand on the stove, so my mind wanders. What I found is that I think about her more when i'm bored and have nothing to do. So in those situations I workout/watch a good TV series/Eat/go for a walk. It's like quitting smoking. Gradually the cravings are less intense. Lately it's been hard focusing because the weather is still kind of bad here. Even when it's a "nice day" it is still cold out, and I despise the cold. So I am limited in what I can do other than school work. I think I actually focus on my (non)relationship to distract myself form school! Luckily I am over the temptation. I am the opposite - I have no intention of stalking or knowing anything about his life, friends, school progress or anything. I assume he never existed. When I do see anything that challenges that idea (stuff from him or his friends, seeing them from afar on campus or something) it totally throws me off and diminishes that theory. So I try to keep away from that stuff. I don't want to hurt myself, you know? It's mainly a focusing problem Same boat Wish the fleeting thoughts would vanish. And soon!!! Same! I am sorry you both are going through the same things. It's really beat, especially when you see a light at the end but it's still pretty far away. 1
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