Bishop556 Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 So, three months have passed since my ex and I broke up, and she is seemingly happy with another guy. We haven't contacted for two months besides a couple of run ins. I have an extreme amount of guilt for how I acted post break up. I was very hurt and angry, and I did things I was not too proud of. I do not want her back as I am still hurt that she lied to me about emotionally cheating on me. If you read my previous threads, the first guy she moved on with was a guy she emotionally cheated on me with at one time, and told me for months she had no feelings for. I am not proud about stalking her on her Tumblr and, more or less, harassing her by asking questions. I want to make amends, not to become her friend by any regards, but to tell her that I am sincerely sorry for the pain I caused and the distrust. I have matured greatly since the break up; for the first time in a long time I can say I am beginning to love myself. I am not expecting forgiveness or any form of reconciliation. I just want to tell my ex that I am truly sorry for my actions and everyone deserves better than being harassed on a social forum. Should I apologize to her?
Author Bishop556 Posted February 28, 2014 Author Posted February 28, 2014 I must be honest, I do still have a lot of guilt in how things ended. It was a very messy break up, and now that I can see things more clearly, I can see that there were lies and deception on both sides. I just can't believe that I would have acted in such a needy and destructive manner. I guess it is because I didn't love myself at that time, and that I was hurting terribly.
Simon Phoenix Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 No, the best apology is leaving her alone. If she initiates contact with you and you are in the right place to talk to her (you aren't) then you can apologize then. But contacting her to apologize to her for harassing her defeats the purpose of apologizing to her in the first place. If you are truly sorry for your behavior, just leave her alone. 2
somedude81 Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 Yeah I have the same desire to apologize to my ex for how I acted post-breakup. But then I realized that the main reason she got mad at me was because I kept bugging her. The best and only thing you can do is go no contact. I know it sucks, but that's just it. Life sucks.
David87 Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 No, you shouldn't apologise, because it's water under the bridge. The best apology is to leave her alone and continue to move forward.
BDL Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 Never apologize. Never. She cheated on you. It's bad enough you acted destructively post-breakup, you are making it worse by apologizing for it. Learn ways to be a better man, so women are less likely to cheat on you in the future, and you can avoid acting poorly if you do breakup, and then you won't feel the need to apologize months later.
guest572 Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 You are still hurt so I don't think it is a good idea. She might contact you back and before you know it you are back in contact and in worse pain than you are now. I don't know the full story but why do you feel so guilty about it? She emotionally cheated on you and dumped you, of course you went a little silly. But she is the one who should feel guilty. Don't fret about it and keep going with the no contact. 1
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