L1ght Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 A family, a city, a group can have its own culture (as Itspointless mentions). IMHO, I disagree - love has many different interpretations and applications. Actions that I take in love, could hurt another person (and have) - we do not always know when we hurt others. Its not about using therapy to overcome issues of the heart. Its about applying what you learn in therapy to embrace those issues. Pfenixphire mentions that the decision to attend therapy can often be driven by humility. This is often accompanied by the willingness to be vulnerable, a necessity in any stable, healthy relationship (learned the hard way). When faced with the 'need' to be vulnerable to change for the better, some people ab-outface and retreat while some embrace the need and charge forward (sometimes involving therapy). Bottom line, therapy can be a positive, proactive step. Its almost a catch-22, denying that therapy can be a good thing could almost be a sign that you could benefit from therapy? L1ght my ex also requested I go to therapy, and in my stubbornness I declined. She broke up with me for another man shortly after and subsequently I had many others tell me to go, I finally was like what can it hurt, went, and it helped. I recommend it to the OP and yourself. Nah bud I don't need therapy. I know what I have to do to set my mind/emotional state right and I'm doing those things. Running, reading, studying, balanced diet, time for fun, time for family, time for friends, meeting new women and basically applying positive things into my life. I stick to my belief that people can change there lives themselves and do positive things if they just get off there ass and do it. So I will respectfully agree to disagree.
L1ght Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 I hate to break it to you dude, therapy hasn’t got much to do with the concepts right and wrong. Well in a way it does if we are going to discuss the DSM classifications of pathological behaviour and the normative positions where they are finding their grounds. But I guess that is a little bit out of our scope here. Again you make a conceptual error as culture can be conceptualized at almost every level, for example the family level. Although it often is understood at society level (a common sociological perspective). Culture is usually is understood as: 'The totality of socially transmitted behavior patterns, arts, beliefs, institutions, and all other products of human work and thought.' (Human culture - definition of Human culture by the Free Online Dictionary, Thesaurus and Encyclopedia.) I am happy for you that you got good friends and family who are supportive, that is really important. Nevertheless therapy can help you understand patterns that people close to you perhaps cannot see as they are deeply ingrained with those themselves (as they belong to your circle). Therapy can help us look with an outside perspective we otherwise would not imagine to use and point us to blind spots. For this reason many successful businessman and woman also seek personal counselling and therapy. Therefore therapy has not much to do with strength, although I personally think it shows strength to admit that everyone can always learn from a good therapist. Positive action, setting goals and targets, Leaving the past behind, exercising, reading, having fun, smiling in the mirror, deciding to be a bad ass, deciding not to be weak, deciding you wanna change and be strong, reaching out to people in a positive way, being nice to people, accepting failures, admitting mistakes, learning, growing, getting a job, etc....the list goes on. Instead of going to therapy all of those things above will get a persons head straight if they commit to them. So instead of committing to therapy I suggest committing to positive action. Decisions. Its all about making a committed decision to change in a positive way.
Itspointless Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 I agree with quite a few. Neverthelless, not saying this is about you, being strong can turn into rigidity, not being weak can turn into being hard to yourself and others, leaving the past behind can result in putting your blinds up. Etc. The mind can fool itself really well.
L1ght Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 I agree with quite a few. Neverthelless, not saying this is about you, being strong can turn into rigidity, not being weak can turn into being hard to yourself and others, leaving the past behind can result in putting your blinds up. Etc. The mind can fool itself really well. I'm a little confused by this response. Are you responding to me? What on earth possessed you to take some of the positive applications I mentioned and twist them into negatives? So in your opinion deciding to become a stronger person is a bad idea, not being weak is a bad idea and leaving a negative past behind is also a bad idea. Ok. Thank you for the advice
Itspointless Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 No, I was talking in general. And no, I am not at all saying that becoming stronger is a negative thing. I am saying that everything is a balance.
guest572 Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 My breakup was a very traumatic experience for me. I was in a position where I couldn't let go, didnt want to yet. But was unable to function and knew that i needed help. A brief chat with a counsellor was enough to push me to get better. For me I think it is due to inexperience and low self esteem that I cant simply say "oh well, im going to take lots of walks and be awesome" i have done all the right things but nothing was working
L1ght Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 No, I was talking in general. And no, I am not at all saying that becoming stronger is a negative thing. I am saying that everything is a balance. Taking positive action in life does nothing other than improve a persons life. It really is that simple. Finding a balance is a vital part of the equation. *adds finding balance to the equation*
L1ght Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 (edited) On a different note I think some of the best therapy a person can get is hearing the words "I don't love you, I don't need you, I don't want you, go away, leave me alone" Some partners/ex's take a damn long time to say those words with complete clarity and its probably one of the reasons why many people hold on too long. So if anybody is unsure and still has hope of getting back together with their ex then I suggest contacting them and asking them to be blunt so they can put you out of your misery and you can begin positive steps to move on. Hearing those words really does make a world of difference. Edited March 13, 2014 by L1ght
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