Phantom888 Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 First off, my fiancee is extremely physically attractive. I really have never seen a woman who is so naturally beautiful. That said, I often tell her that I'm motivated to look good because I want to be a good match for her on the outside as well as on the inside. I suppose the real reason is that I gotta stay on top of the competition, and I know beautiful women get hit on all the time. I have been doing kickboxing/wrestling/weight training for a long time. When my fiancee saw me with my shirt off the very first time, she said, "Wow." I'm glad she appreciates my looks and loves me for who I am. Last night when I came back from working out, she touched my arm (biceps) and said, "you are getting way too sexy....I don't know if it's safe to let you go to a gym where there are young women." I laughed. When I work out I'm so focused I actually never notice any girls around me. But I realize my woman is expressing her concerns in a subtle way. I actually never consider myself as a hot dude. I'm just this average Asian guy who is almost 40. I do notice women checking me out here and there, but I suppose most guys get checked out just like most women get checked by men. Looks really are not that important in the grand scheme of things. My penis is very beautiful, however. j/k. Question to everyone: Do you get concerned if your partner becomes more and more physically attractive to others (i.e. via exercise, diet, cosmetic changes....)? I think we benefit the most when our partner gets hotter, but is there a point where it becomes a negative factor?
mammasita Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 I was actually just wondering something similar. I want to get my boobs done. Definitely for myself but they'll certainly benefit my partner. Things that make you go hmmmmmmmmmm.
pickflicker Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 I can say I would try very, very hard not to. I have dated some very good looking guys. I have always wondered what they see in me, since I'd consider myself square in the average range. So...I would try to not get concerned.
veggirl Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 If a guy went from meh to WOW I might be a little worried, just cause who knows if more attention would go to his head, etc. That being said, my guy is already very attractive so it's not an issue. 2
MidwestUSA Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 Nope, not a problem. It's just more reason for either of us to be proud to have the other as a spouse. Kudos for working the beauty of your penis into yet another thread! 4
StanMusial Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 I once overheard my buddy's wife saying one time that she wouldn't let her husband go to the gym because of some of the girls there. I don't know whether she was concerned he would get more attractive, or it was just ongoing angst because he did get around some before they married.
Leigh 87 Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 Hmm well, since the other sexy women at the gym can't see how beautiful your penis is, your fiancé should have nothing to fret about:lmao: My boyfriend has a very nice body, nicer than any other guy I have dated... I am not worried at all about other women. Maybe your curvy fiancé (if I remember correctly) feels "weird" about you being in such good shape, given her curvy body type? I am a curvy type of girl who is dating a "thin" guy. I know I sort of feel this way regarding my own situation with dating my thin guy... I am a curvy gal, biggish double D's, shapely not thin calves... At first I was a little uncomfortable dating a slim guy who was only around 20 lbs heavier than me:o It is all about how he acts though; he made me feel gorgeous from day one and I just "knew" my body type was not an issue for him and in fact, he LOVES my body size and type. I am still a womanly size after all even though I am not one of those petite and slender looking girls:) I am sure your fiancé isn't too worried! She is probably happy that you have a hot bod. I know I sure appreciate dating a guy who is slim and sexy.
Leigh 87 Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 I once overheard my buddy's wife saying one time that she wouldn't let her husband go to the gym because of some of the girls there. I don't know whether she was concerned he would get more attractive, or it was just ongoing angst because he did get around some before they married. I am not hot but I don't worry at all about my boyfriend having a roving eye. Drop dead gorgeous woman have walked past us and he doesn't give a damn. He is the type who only has eyes for a woman if he is truly into her. It sucks that some women are that insecure. Not letting her partner go to the gym? Laughable 1
Leigh 87 Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 I can say I would try very, very hard not to. I have dated some very good looking guys. I have always wondered what they see in me, since I'd consider myself square in the average range. So...I would try to not get concerned. I am sure you are better looking than you think:) I know I am nothing special, however, and for some reason I never second guessed the hot guys I dated and whether or not they thought I was "good enough":lmao: Interestingly, it was my chubby 6 or 7 of an ex who thought he was too good for me! His friends would tell him that he was too good for me, even though they were unattractive women saying it:lmao: I was a 110 lbs gym junkie when I was with my ex, so I was a little unnerved and perplexed that he gave me the vibe that he thought he was a bit "above" me:o The hotter guys I have dated, ironically, were the ones who made me feel as though they really adored my looks and body! A FWB I had last year was thin and sexy as hell, yet he would call me "skinny" and he seemed to think I was "really hot" , for real. ...he now has an average albeit very pretty looking girlfriend Trust me, some average joes will think they are above you while some sexy men will really admire your physical attributes. 1
slizl Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 I think it was a simple compliment that you are reading WAY too much into. 8
anne1707 Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 I think it was a simple compliment that you are reading WAY too much into. Totally agree. She was just flirting with you. 4
xxoo Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 No, my trust in him is independent of other women's interest in him. And I agree with previous posters. She was simply flirting with you. 3
pickflicker Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 I am sure you are better looking than you think:) I know I am nothing special, however, and for some reason I never second guessed the hot guys I dated and whether or not they thought I was "good enough":lmao: Interestingly, it was my chubby 6 or 7 of an ex who thought he was too good for me! His friends would tell him that he was too good for me, even though they were unattractive women saying it:lmao: I was a 110 lbs gym junkie when I was with my ex, so I was a little unnerved and perplexed that he gave me the vibe that he thought he was a bit "above" me:o The hotter guys I have dated, ironically, were the ones who made me feel as though they really adored my looks and body! A FWB I had last year was thin and sexy as hell, yet he would call me "skinny" and he seemed to think I was "really hot" , for real. ...he now has an average albeit very pretty looking girlfriend Trust me, some average joes will think they are above you while some sexy men will really admire your physical attributes. I think guys fall for my sassy mouth. I am tailor made for internet dating
gaius Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 I don't think it was a simple comment. One of my ex's wanted breast implants and you better be sure I was as discouraging as possible. If your partner moves up in the world they'll always hold it against you for being with them when they were less than.
Leigh 87 Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 I don't think it was a simple comment. One of my ex's wanted breast implants and you better be sure I was as discouraging as possible. If your partner moves up in the world they'll always hold it against you for being with them when they were less than. No way. I am getting a nose job, as I will be very pretty with a small, feminine girly nose since the rest of my facial features are very nice (nice teeth, full lips, big eyes, nice skin etc) plus I have a "porn star" body (slim and huge boobs/booty). I will go from plain Jane to an attractive woman once I get a nose job. I wouldn't dream of leaving my boyfriend simply because I will suddenly go from invisible to attractive to other men.
gaius Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 No way. I am getting a nose job, as I will be very pretty with a small, feminine girly nose since the rest of my facial features are very nice (nice teeth, full lips, big eyes, nice skin etc) plus I have a "porn star" body (slim and huge boobs/booty). I will go from plain Jane to an attractive woman once I get a nose job. I wouldn't dream of leaving my boyfriend simply because I will suddenly go from invisible to attractive to other men. You don't know how you'll react until it actually happens. A lot of people say that and then the relationship goes sour when it does, for all kinds of other reasons apparently.
newmoon Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 no, I wouldn't be bothered, but perhaps for a more psychological reason. not that I wish this on anyone, but people who are ugly/fat whatever usually have some deep insecurities and even when they manage to become extremely attractive on the outside the inside is often still plagued with lots of psychological issues, feelings of insecurity, worthlessness, etc. it's when you see a thin person who once was very fat and they tell people: 'there is always the fat kid inside.' so, my partner could improve and it would improve their confidence (for a while) but they will essentially revert to their 'normal' state and that would likely include the feelings of insecurity they might have had before... making 'straying' or whatever not much of a concern after their initial new 'hotness' phase has passed, which it will.
Leigh 87 Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 (edited) You don't know how you'll react until it actually happens. A lot of people say that and then the relationship goes sour when it does, for all kinds of other reasons apparently. Yeah but I still have guys who tell me they think I am gorgeous and etc. I don't let the fact that I have other men who find me attractive get to my head or make me think " I am all that". I know I am nothing special. For a plain/average gal, I actually have a surprisingly large amount of men who say they are "really" attracted to me. I just figure that like the "curvy blonde" look and leave it at that. Other people being attracted to you doesn't mean you are good looking. It just means they think you are good looking. Even if an ugly ducking became a beauty queen, it doesn't mean she is foolish enough to believe she is "so wonderful" so as to warrant her leaving her "average" boyfriend who she is madly in love with? Why would you leave the one person who loved you and found you beautiful when you were "ugly?" Us women ALL have people who really fancy us when we are in loving relationships. I regularly shut down men who are really attracted to me without a second thought, and I don't think I am "that great" just because I have people who find me attractive. Why would it be any different when I improve my looks? I will simply have more people who find me appealing. Can't see why I would react any differently? Plus I am crazy about my boyfriend and cannot see me changing my feelings based on my OWN appearance improving? Edited February 28, 2014 by Leigh 87
gaius Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 Yeah but I still have guys who tell me they think I am gorgeous and etc. I don't let the fact that I have other men who find me attractive get to my head or make me think " I am all that". We ALL have people who really fancy us when we are in loving relationships. I regularly shut down men who are really attracted to me without a second thought, and I don't think I am "that great" just because I have people who find me attractive. Why would it be any different when I improve my looks? I will simply have more people who find me appealing. Can't see why I would react any differently? Plus I am crazy about my boyfriend and cannot see me changing my feelings based on my OWN appearance improving? I don't think it's necessarily about others being attracted to you, but more about fixing something with yourself you considered lacking or wrong. Then your body naturally considers whatever partner you're with not quite up to standard since they were with you when you had that flaw/defect. It's human nature really. There was a thread a while back about a girl who got herself educated and was losing interest in her uneducated boyfriend since "they had nothing to talk about anymore". Really? You can't find anything to talk about? Give me a break. Sounds more like the body making excuses to dump the partner that doesn't match up anymore. You see stuff like that all the time.
Leigh 87 Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 I don't think it's necessarily about others being attracted to you, but more about fixing something with yourself you considered lacking or wrong. Then your body naturally considers whatever partner you're with not quite up to standard since they were with you when you had that flaw/defect. It's human nature really. There was a thread a while back about a girl who got herself educated and was losing interest in her uneducated boyfriend since "they had nothing to talk about anymore". Really? You can't find anything to talk about? Give me a break. Sounds more like the body making excuses to dump the partner that doesn't match up anymore. You see stuff like that all the time. It comes down to ones values. I want a decent man who treats me well and adores me. As long as we can talk about things and are both motivated to work fulltime and lead a productive life, I couldn't give a rats ass how " educated" he is, formally speaking. My boyfriend is a decent man, he is considerate and is husband material. He values and respects me and thinks I am gorgeous without make up and without a nose job. I also have chemistry and a spark with him, have done since day one. That is way more important to me than a boyfriend having to match me in my level of education and in my physical appearance? I will have a degree and a couple of diplomas (two potential fields for full time work besides the impending college degree), but it is very perplexing to me that some people will then suddenly "need" their partner to "match them" Like. Wtf? Throwing away a person who you are crazy about because you need "an equal match"? Baffling stuff. Really, these people are not madly in love their partners if they then leave them merely based on a status thing.
lino Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 I'd welcome it very much.. Why would anyone other than an insecure person feel their partner becoming more attractive a bad thing? Then again, I don't go for women who I already don't find extremely sexy.
gaius Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 (edited) It comes down to ones values. I want a decent man who treats me well and adores me. As long as we can talk about things and are both motivated to work fulltime and lead a productive life, I couldn't give a rats ass how " educated" he is, formally speaking. My boyfriend is a decent man, he is considerate and is husband material. He values and respects me and thinks I am gorgeous without make up and without a nose job. I also have chemistry and a spark with him, have done since day one. That is way more important to me than a boyfriend having to match me in my level of education and in my physical appearance? I will have a degree and a couple of diplomas (two potential fields for full time work besides the impending college degree), but it is very perplexing to me that some people will then suddenly "need" their partner to "match them" Like. Wtf? Throwing away a person who you are crazy about because you need "an equal match"? Baffling stuff. Really, these people are not madly in love their partners if they then leave them merely based on a status thing. I don't know how you truly feel about your nose. Maybe it's just something that bothers you but isn't a deep seeded thing. So maybe once you do have it done you won't feel the need to shed your boyfriend. Or maybe you'll find yourself surprised at how you feel and react after you get it done. Like I was when my friend's girlfriend came on to me after I was preaching the bro code like scripture before. Maybe your values will keep you from dumping him but you'll find yourself less attracted on a raw physical level than before. All I know is when I was fat I was thinking about one girl who wouldn't sleep with me and after I lost weight I was still thinking about her, when I could actually get her. I don't think I would have had much respect for a woman who dated me in that condition. And from what I've seen that's generally how it goes. With a few small islands of more loyal and functional people in the great sea of dysfunction. Edited February 28, 2014 by gaius
Leigh 87 Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 (edited) I don't know how you truly feel about your nose. Maybe it's just something that bothers you but isn't a deep seeded thing. So maybe once you do have it done you won't feel the need to shed your boyfriend. Or maybe you'll find yourself surprised at how you feel and react after you get it done. Like I was when my friend's girlfriend came on to me after I was preaching the bro code like scripture before. Maybe your values will keep you from dumping him but you'll find yourself less attracted on a raw physical level than before. All I know is when I was fat I was thinking about one girl who wouldn't sleep with me and after I lost weight I was still thinking about her, when I could actually get her. I don't think I would have had much respect for a woman who dated me in that condition. And from what I've seen that's generally how it goes. With a few small islands of more loyal and functional people in the great sea of dysfunction. I dated fat guys. Why am I above them? Why wouldn't you respect a woman who dated a fat guy? I'm not winning any beauty contests so I don't see why it's a sign of having low standards if a girl dates an over weight or obese guy providing they treat you well. I got lucky with my slim and sexy boyfriend. I expected that only obese or over weight men would be attracted to me. I basically think I will go from average to "a little pretty" with a perfect nose. My features besides my nose are honestly really nice, my teeth eyes skin and full lips are as nice as my model friends. I feel my nose is what makes me average opposed to "attractive". am doing it because it's something that would make me feel more confident and happy. I have wanted it for many years. I love pretty things. I am a very visual person. I would simply like to look at a more pleasant looking reflection. I do think even have a big nose; it is thin and not large in size. It's just too long and slightly crooked. ....I will feel a heck of a lot better with cosmetic surgery but it is strictly because I will derive so much pleasure from looking nicer; it is not to do with my ability to attract a "better" partner. I don't think it's logical to assume that you will necessarily attract significantly more people with ONE variable in your life having changed for the better. Edited February 28, 2014 by Leigh 87
man_in_the_box Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 Question to everyone: Do you get concerned if your partner becomes more and more physically attractive to others (i.e. via exercise, diet, cosmetic changes....)? Nope, it happened and it didn't change anything - it's a character thing I guess. The whole mindset sounds completely unrelatable to me.
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