She communicated with her ex

[linuxking]

I felt in love with a girl and we dated for 3 months until she had too go back to her country. We never talked about long distance or something but i added her on facebook and she created a relationship with me on facebook.

everthing was going fine in our long distance relationship. on facebook she was always liking a guys pictures, the pictures displayed that he was sad and thinking about some one.

and she liked all of them. but I didn't give a ****.

 

but then she commented on his profile picture "you look well ......:D"

 

and then i started to be curious and stalked his profile and found out that they had a relationship before she went to mine country (she was a year in my country)they stayed friends while she was here.

 

when i asked her about it she said it was a collegue and deleted him immediately of her Facebook friendlist. i never told her to delete him.

 

she told me she felt guilty and sorry for him.because he still had a crush on her.

 

i really don't know what to think about this. i still dont know why she did that was she really guilty or flirting.. i dont understand it

i know she likes me much more she has pictures of me on her facebook i toke her virginity...

 

can it be true that she felt guilty or had she other reasons mmm..

 

further everthing goes great in our longdistance relationship we have a end date in 5 months and never had any fight and i never had any suspicion

but this incident keeps bothering me much

 

i know she chosed me over him while he is much closer but still i dont understand why she kept talking with him and compliment his profile picture while she know he still had a crush on her did she really felt sorry what do you guys think

Edited February 27, 2014 by linuxking

[ExpatInItaly]

I think it would not be wise to continue long-distance for the time being. If you never agreed to actually have a long-distance relationship, how is it possible that you created a relationship on FB? What does that mean, exactly? Unless and until you two clearly establish your partnership, expectations and boundaries, I wouldn't consider her to be your exclusive girlfriend.

 

For what's it worth, the fact she deleted him on her own could be a good sign. But don't rule out the possibility that they have plenty of other ways to communicate (phone, in person, text, and so on) If she knows he a has a crush on her and she is continuing to communicate with him while being in this relationship with you, I don't think she's all that serious about you, OP.

 

As far as end dates go..what is going to happen in 5 months? Is someone moving, and if so, is that actually confirmed? How often do you speak with her these days?

[linuxking]

thanks for your reply me gusta

 

i have a low level of english but our relationship is more serious then i suggested in the first post in something like 4 months i am going to move to her (i am a programmer and wanted to do a gap year anyway) and we are going to live together. we never talked about longdistance but it was pretty straightforward that we had a relationship i really dont remember how it went,

 

and with relationship on facebook i mean she announces to her friends and surrounding thats she is in a relationship with me and i speak almost everyday with her and she sends me every week a letter (aawwww yeah)

everthing was going fine until i found out she had a ex (**** facebook)

and they still were contacting each other.

 

i just dont like the idea that she said he looks good while she knows he had a crush disturbs me a lot but i think it was more a sort of you look good like you will say too a old friend but it still bothers me... and maybe she felt really guilty i can understand that guy waited year for her and she returns with me hehe i am really not afraid that she cheated or is going back to her hell no. i am much better looking then him and they never did more then kissing:cool:.

 

so i am not afraid she cheated but i am afraid she kept him as back-up

 

but that she removed him without me asking for it is indeed a great sign

 

now i am really Considering checking her facebook account messages and want to see what they talked about if she tried to get him back i will leave her immediately and i dodged a bullet and if she didn't i am going after her

[justwhoiam]

Have you ever heard of the ladder theory?

 

I know it's funny, but well, there's probably more truth to it than misconception.

 

So, it's very likely that this guy is not on her friends' ladder.

 

To answer your dilemma: why is she still in touch with him if she's in a relationship with you? Hard to tell without any info about their relationship... Why did they break up? Was it because she was leaving the country? If that were the reason, do you think you can switch to unloving mode right away, on command? You can guess the answer.

Also, who decided to break up? And how long had they been together?

As you can see, you know nothing.

 

That said, she chose you. She is now your girlfriend and you are planning to live together for a year.

 

The guy will probably remain in the background, and if something goes wrong with you, chances are that guy will still be in the picture, and be able to go up the ladder while you fall into the abyss.

 

But don't get paranoid now about what could happen if you two break up. Enjoy your relationship. I hope you have plans that go beyond one year.

[linuxking]

yeah the problem isnt that i feel treating by her ex it is just that i find it really unrespectful too keep contact with a ex without telling me and the ex was still in love with her if i never founded out she was probably still talking with him. maybe i need to ask for their chat messages or something and see if she tried to get him back. mmm and sometimes i have the feeling that she tried to get back at him and he didn't want to and she stayed with me...

[justwhoiam]

i find it really unrespectful too keep contact with a ex without telling me

Ok. I think she should have told you. Maybe she didn't not to upset you.

 

maybe i need to ask for their chat messages

I guess you shouldn't ask. I would read only if she offered that spontaneously.

 

sometimes i have the feeling that she tried to get back at him and he didn't want to and she stayed with me...

You know what's weird about that? That most people would think he could have tried to get her back... but here, you only think bad of your girlfriend and that's worrisome. You don't trust her, and not because you might think she's weak and he could chat her up... no. It's worse.