someonespecial Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 My husband and I split about two weeks ago due to the fact that he was controlling and emotionally abusive. We have been married for 15 years and have two teenage kids together. He left to live with his mom and then two days later came back to the house saying he had every right to stay there. We agreed to him staying as long as he finds a place and gets out within two months. He is moving out this weekend however he says he wants to work it out. He says that I have opened his eyes and he has changed and will do whatever it takes to get me back. He left flowers for me yesterday on my dresser and I found them when I came home from work. He also has been helping with chores around the house for the past two weeks that he has returned and seems to be more respectful. He even stated yesterday that he signed up for anger management classes. He is still moving out Sunday as I want to be separated to get my head straight and figure out what I really want but my question is..has he really changed. Should I give him the benefit of the doubt and date him as he requests while we are separated?
trippi1432 Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 My advice would be to insist he attend several anger management classes as you need to see permanent change. I would also insist on IC as couple's/marriage counseling once he has attended several anger management classes. I would not suggest them at the same time until you see progress of him handling his anger. The reason i say don't do the two types of counseling together is that typically, marriage counseling is a last resort and fingers get pointed which won't help him understand how to handle his anger. Is he remorseful, most likely. Is he trying to charm his way back in? Of course. Are either of those hard line progress...?? Not really. If his eyes are truly open, he'll do well in anger management and you can take some time to figure out what you want and clear your head.
Author someonespecial Posted February 27, 2014 Author Posted February 27, 2014 Thanks. We did go to couples counseling about a year ago. We completed it and things were fine for a month or so and went back to the way they were before. Our couples counseling had recommended him to go to Anger Management. At that time he did not go because he said he didnt need it. I plan on giving him a chance to redeem himself but at the same time I also plan on moving on with my life, seeing other people, etc to find out what it is I really want. I just wanted to know if everyone thought he had really changed and saw the light or if it was a play just to get me to stay and go back to our usual routine.
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