LovelyLamb Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 Last night I messed around with a good friend of mine that I've had for a couple years now. I refused to have sex with him until I got onto birth control, but if I was already on birth control, we probably would have had sex too in all honesty. This morning I woke up regretting it due to him being such a good friend and because we've seen each other go through different breakups over the past couple of years, and he's someone I've turned to multiple times for advice. He just got out of a 8 month relationship and last night he was still venting to me about what went wrong with her. I've always been attracted to him, but he's older than me by 8 years, and I just never thought we'd actually go that far. Plus, he's good friends with a friend of mine that I've pretty much have been in love with since last year. He knows this. He knows him and I hooked up a few months ago and that our friend wanted to stay just friends but I've always wanted something more and that I'd do pretty much anything for a chance to be with him. He gave me dating advice for this guy and told me not to give up on him multiple times, and when I told him that I thought I finally gave up on him since I was tired of trying so hard for him to notice me, he said he couldn't understand why I should have to since I'm good looking and fun and all that jazz. It feels in a way I cheated on that guy...that's how infatuated with him I've been...especially since him and I hang out a couple times a week still and we're just now over a pregnancy scare that we had. I just feel so confused right now. He has declared his interest in me and wants to take me on a date and to start talking, but he's not "that guy" that I've been wanting for the longest of time, ya know? I think he could probably make me happy if I gave him the chance, but should I if I'm still stuck on my other friend? If we do start talking, should I tell our friend since for a tiny while him and I were talking and we're still close?
Candy_Pants Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 Well, you can stay stuck on the guy who doesn't want you, OR open your eyes and heart to the possibility of being with a guy who does want you. Your choice. But don't just date the guy who likes you because he's interested. And don't feel guilty for doing sexual things you wanted to do. That's silly. Own up or keep um closed.
jrh1524 Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 (edited) I would dump him hard so you can get the Bigger Better Deal. Or you can keep him on the side as a toy until the relationship with the guy you like pans out. Edited February 27, 2014 by jrh1524
Author LovelyLamb Posted February 28, 2014 Author Posted February 28, 2014 I know he could make me happy if I gave him the chance. He's a gentleman with a good head on his shoulders, and he has always been able to make me laugh. I want to give him a chance, but I hate the idea of hurting him since my feelings for the other guy are so strong. But...nothing will probably happen with the other guy so to hold off on something good for something that may not happen just feels so stupid. I feel like I should tell him how I feel, but idk how he'll take it.
TheNewMe2014 Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 I don't know, saying "I know he could make me happy if I gave him a chance" seems like someone desperate for a relationship. If you heart is into another guy and you 'have to give him a chance' - then you aren't being fair to him and are settling. Don't ever settle. It's not fair to you and it is DEFINITELY not fair to him. Eventually you won't be happy with him and he'll get hurt. Now, if you want to be totally open and honest and casual and tell him that you see him as a friend and are interested in the possibility of your relationship 'blossoming' - then everyone is talking from the same page and their isn't much risk. But you are settling and/or trying to keep him interested until the other guy or something better comes around...if you go down the path you've been going down.
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