Syconort Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 I've known this girl for a while (almost 10 years), and she has an on/off boyfriend who doesn't appreciate her at all. He's a heavy gamer and is clearly neglecting her. They've been on/off for about 6 years. She is a really great person. Generous, ambitious, driven, friendly. Minus the physical attraction, I like her for her. I haven't played the 'friend' role all that much (last saw her 2 years ago), but I'm sure she has seen me as "just a friend" in the past. Ideas?
Emilia Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 People who are in on/off messy relationships usually don't make good long term romantic partners until they fix their rollercoaster issues. You should find a girl who is capable of holding down something steady. If you haven't seen her for 2 years, you barely know her. People change. 1
Author Syconort Posted February 27, 2014 Author Posted February 27, 2014 People who are in on/off messy relationships usually don't make good long term romantic partners until they fix their rollercoaster issues. You should find a girl who is capable of holding down something steady. If you haven't seen her for 2 years, you barely know her. People change. Barely know her? I've known her for 8 years previous to that. She is still doing what she always did... volunteering, learning, studying, going after her dreams. I'm sure she has changed, that doesn't mean I barely know her. Anyway, I do agree that on/off relationships are an indication of problems on either or both sides. The fact that her BF is still neglecting her for games tells me he just doesn't give a ****. Maybe none of them do. Who knows. Yes, maybe you're right. Find somebody else and don't even bother to give her the benefit of the doubt.
Emilia Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 Barely know her? I've known her for 8 years previous to that. She is still doing what she always did... volunteering, learning, studying, going after her dreams. I'm sure she has changed, that doesn't mean I barely know her. If you knew her all that well and you were part of her life, you would have seen her within the last 2 years. You are crushing on her, no big deal. Anyway, I do agree that on/off relationships are an indication of problems on either or both sides. The fact that her BF is still neglecting her for games tells me he just doesn't give a ****. Maybe none of them do. Who knows. Yes, maybe you're right. Find somebody else and don't even bother to give her the benefit of the doubt. I think perhaps you are thinking about her because you don't talk to enough girls. This is not some insult, just a wake-up call OP. You need more options. If she puts up with neglect, she has self-esteem issues. That doesn't work well for relationships. YOu know that. 1
Author Syconort Posted February 27, 2014 Author Posted February 27, 2014 If you knew her all that well and you were part of her life, you would have seen her within the last 2 years. You are crushing on her, no big deal. I think perhaps you are thinking about her because you don't talk to enough girls. This is not some insult, just a wake-up call OP. You need more options. If she puts up with neglect, she has self-esteem issues. That doesn't work well for relationships. YOu know that. Fair points. Thanks. 1
lovenotwar Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 I'm not sure why you want to do any such nonsensical thing. You don't want to show her anything. If you're interested in making something happen, then you need to flirt, and see if she reciprocates. This doesn't mean line things up for cheating. The idea is just to let her know she has options, and if her relationship is really that bad, maybe she'll want to make a change. Just flirting and hanging out and having fun and stuff can be a lot of fun. It's not ultimately fulfilling in the end, but you shouldn't be too concerned with that. If you're not willing to spend some time with her and flirt and see where that goes, you're being selfish by thinking you should just show up and 'show her you care.' 1
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