Author confusedsoul14 Posted February 28, 2014 Author Posted February 28, 2014 What's so appealing about him that you want to go through all this trouble? I'm sure there are other guys around who you know are interested in you. Even if there are other guys who are interested in me, I simply can't bring myself to leave this matter unresolved and start chasing the next guy in line. Wouldn't it be awkward with that guy for the rest of my life?
somedude81 Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 Even if there are other guys who are interested in me, I simply can't bring myself to leave this matter unresolved and start chasing the next guy in line. Wouldn't it be awkward with that guy for the rest of my life? Awkward for the rest of your life? He'd probably forget you after a week. I'm still curious why you think he's worth all the effort to chase him.
clia Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 I haven't been sitting around. You don't know how many times I have seen this guy staring at me. Even my friends have noticed it and they keep teasing me for that. So I went up to him and asked for his number. He willingly gave it to me. The first day I texted him he replied within 30 seconds....he always replies my text quickly and doesn't try to end the conversation. However he never texted first. And now, I think he has become even more shy because he tries to completely ignore me sometimes. I mean, didn't I give him the right sign by asking for his number without any apparent reason? What makes you think that he is shy as opposed to not interested? I mean, at this point you have asked for his number number, texted him three times, and now he even ignores you at times. Do you really think that he is so cripplingly shy that he can't even send you a text message on his own or ask you out over text after you have given him clear signs that you are interested? I just don't buy it. I don't care how shy a guy is -- if he is interested and a woman is waving a huge, green flag (as you are) -- he will find a way to ask her out or to show some interest. This guy isn't doing that. Hell, he can't even send you a text message without you initiating it first. Don't waste your time blaming shyness when it is really disinterest. At this point, I think you should just date other guys. You don't have to wait around for this one. If he decides to ask you out at some point, then you can decide if you still want to go out with him. Right now, though, there is no reason for you to sit around waiting. 3
Author confusedsoul14 Posted March 1, 2014 Author Posted March 1, 2014 I'm still curious why you think he's worth all the effort to chase him. Reasons I think the guy likes me: 1. He looks at me so much that even my friends noticed it. 2. Once when I caught him looking at me, he kind of smiled and looked away slowly. 3. Sometimes he pretends to look at something over my head. (I find it so funny!) 4. Before I took his number, he used to linger around me sometimes. But he doesn't do that anymore. Guess I scared him? 5. Sometimes he tries to look fun and cool around me ( I think it's because of me...or maybe I'm just overrating myself hehehe) 6. When he started ignoring me, I told him over text to stop doing that, unless he wants to project to his friends that he is too cool to care about me. The next day, he came and said hi to me and asked me how I was. But then nothing happened after that day....WTH So, I don't know if he is shy or confused or not interested....I'm trying to figure out what's going on in his mind. If it's shyness that's holding him back, I want to help him overcome it. Because everyone thinks that he is a nice guy in general and so do I. Besides, i don't have anyone else in mind atm, so yeah...
somedude81 Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 Reasons I think the guy likes me: 1. He looks at me so much that even my friends noticed it. 2. Once when I caught him looking at me, he kind of smiled and looked away slowly. 3. Sometimes he pretends to look at something over my head. (I find it so funny!) 4. Before I took his number, he used to linger around me sometimes. But he doesn't do that anymore. Guess I scared him? 5. Sometimes he tries to look fun and cool around me ( I think it's because of me...or maybe I'm just overrating myself hehehe) 6. When he started ignoring me, I told him over text to stop doing that, unless he wants to project to his friends that he is too cool to care about me. The next day, he came and said hi to me and asked me how I was. But then nothing happened after that day....WTH So, I don't know if he is shy or confused or not interested....I'm trying to figure out what's going on in his mind. If it's shyness that's holding him back, I want to help him overcome it. Because everyone thinks that he is a nice guy in general and so do I. Besides, i don't have anyone else in mind atm, so yeah... I asked why you like him. Now why you think he likes you
Keenly Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 I asked why you like him. Now why you think he likes you Is a reason really needed ? Some things are lost in translation between the heart and the mouth. 1
regine_phalange Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 (edited) I think even the shiest guys, find the guts to approach a woman they really like. It melts my heart when they show such will and tame their natural tendency of shyness. edit; The approach may not happen immediately and you will have to give them a lot of green light to proceed. Edited March 1, 2014 by regine_phalange forgot to add 2
somedude81 Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 Is a reason really needed ? Some things are lost in translation between the heart and the mouth. I'm curious why she is putting in so much time and energy into a guy who barely even talks to her.
Author confusedsoul14 Posted March 2, 2014 Author Posted March 2, 2014 I asked why you like him. Now why you think he likes you I answered that question as well! I said I think he is a nice person and I don't have anyone else in mind atm. And I want to explore him.
Author confusedsoul14 Posted March 2, 2014 Author Posted March 2, 2014 I think even the shiest guys, find the guts to approach a woman they really like. It melts my heart when they show such will and tame their natural tendency of shyness. edit; The approach may not happen immediately and you will have to give them a lot of green light to proceed. Are you talking from experience? If so, give me more details if you don't mind!
keepontruckin Posted March 2, 2014 Posted March 2, 2014 (edited) I am a shy guy. I have never once asked a woman out, and I am in my 30's. (I've had numerous GF's, and have even been married, just for background info). And ya, ya, I know I've missed out on opportunities, but shy guys aren't "players," no matter how much we'd like to be, and never will. If he's anything like me, we simply cannot (or will not) build up the courage to get to a level so personal as to ask for a date. Perhaps it is the fear of rejection... Perhaps it's the fear of putting one or both parties in an awkward situation. I'm not sure. The easiest way to deal with guys like me is to flat out ask them if they want to go out. It's the 21st century, and everyone is all about "equality" and all that jazz, so it's only fitting that there should be no hesitance from those of the female persuasion. He may be extremely shy, and simply exchanging a phone number may leave him with doubt as to your intentions. Here's a better idea... On a piece of paper, write this: "Want to go out for drinks sometime? Call me or text me @ ###-####" If that doesn't work, he's hopeless and you can then move on knowing you did pretty much everything you could do to spark interest. Edited March 2, 2014 by keepontruckin 3
Author confusedsoul14 Posted March 2, 2014 Author Posted March 2, 2014 The easiest way to deal with guys like me is to flat out ask them if they want to go out. It's the 21st century, and everyone is all about "equality" and all that jazz, so it's only fitting that there should be no hesitance from those of the female persuasion. He may be extremely shy, and simply exchanging a phone number may leave him with doubt as to your intentions. Here's a better idea... On a piece of paper, write this: "Want to go out for drinks sometime? Call me or text me @ ###-####" If that doesn't work, he's hopeless and you can then move on knowing you did pretty much everything you could do to spark interest. I told him I wanted to hang out with him and that's why we exchanged number. Then when I texted him, I was hoping that HE would ask me about hanging out. But he didn't bring that up and so I thought maybe I was moving too fast for him. That's why I didn't mention anything about hanging out. We just talked about normal stuff. It's been two weeks and none of us has mentioned hanging out even once. So should I just ask him to hang out with me again?
somedude81 Posted March 2, 2014 Posted March 2, 2014 I am a shy guy. I have never once asked a woman out, and I am in my 30's. (I've had numerous GF's, and have even been married, just for background info). And ya, ya, I know I've missed out on opportunities, but shy guys aren't "players," no matter how much we'd like to be, and never will. If he's anything like me, we simply cannot (or will not) build up the courage to get to a level so personal as to ask for a date. Perhaps it is the fear of rejection... Perhaps it's the fear of putting one or both parties in an awkward situation. I'm not sure. The easiest way to deal with guys like me is to flat out ask them if they want to go out. It's the 21st century, and everyone is all about "equality" and all that jazz, so it's only fitting that there should be no hesitance from those of the female persuasion. He may be extremely shy, and simply exchanging a phone number may leave him with doubt as to your intentions. Here's a better idea... On a piece of paper, write this: "Want to go out for drinks sometime? Call me or text me @ ###-####" If that doesn't work, he's hopeless and you can then move on knowing you did pretty much everything you could do to spark interest. For the record, I've been a shy guy growing up and I didn't get my first girlfriend till I was 31. I've never had a girl ask me out or ask for my number. I bet you have something in common with the guy that confusedsoul14 likes. You're both very good looking. That's why a girl is willing to put in all that effort to chase a guy when he doesn't pursue her. Good looks trump everything. 1
Author confusedsoul14 Posted March 2, 2014 Author Posted March 2, 2014 For the record, I've been a shy guy growing up and I didn't get my first girlfriend till I was 31. I've never had a girl ask me out or ask for my number. I bet you have something in common with the guy that confusedsoul14 likes. You're both very good looking. That's why a girl is willing to put in all that effort to chase a guy when he doesn't pursue her. Good looks trump everything. Hahahahaha!!!! That was hilarious. My guy is neither good looking nor ugly. He is average. He is very, very simple and he acts quite clumsy sometimes. None of us noticed him until he started staring at me a lot. ;p I'm probably the only girl who has his number and these days his friends poke him and tease him whenever they see me. But I don't know if he likes it or not. He seems so clueless! It's almost cute 2
somedude81 Posted March 2, 2014 Posted March 2, 2014 Hahahahaha!!!! That was hilarious. My guy is neither good looking nor ugly. He is average. He is very, very simple and he acts quite clumsy sometimes. None of us noticed him until he started staring at me a lot. ;p I'm probably the only girl who has his number and these days his friends poke him and tease him whenever they see me. But I don't know if he likes it or not. He seems so clueless! It's almost cute Well, then I'm stumped. Maybe I should have stared at girls more in high school 1
Author confusedsoul14 Posted March 2, 2014 Author Posted March 2, 2014 Well, then I'm stumped. Maybe I should have stared at girls more in high school We are in college. He is a year senior to me...
regine_phalange Posted March 2, 2014 Posted March 2, 2014 Are you talking from experience? If so, give me more details if you don't mind! Sure! With the shy men I met I was just friendly at first (which is an excellent approach to start romantic relationships, I think, after some years of dating). We had mutual interests, and we would talk about them when we saw each other. Or we would discuss university stuff. When an opportunity came along (e.g. a concert or a conference/expo) I would say that I'm thinking of going even though I don't have any company. Well, it has worked twice so far. And it's not awkward as it doesn't have a "date" vibe (even though practically it is one) After hanging out in the event, you can go for a drink or food or walk "because it's too early". 2
Salvatore85 Posted March 2, 2014 Posted March 2, 2014 I think even the shiest guys, find the guts to approach a woman they really like. It melts my heart when they show such will and tame their natural tendency of shyness. edit; The approach may not happen immediately and you will have to give them a lot of green light to proceed. Every female I've dated has approached me. I'm about as shy as it gets but have still had success with females. I can't explain what I'm so terrified of but I hate that part of my personality. Basically I'm saying some of us won't approach regardless of time. The thought of this female you find attractive just absolutely embarrassing you in front of everyone when she rejects you is so encompassing. It's not reality but it's still terrifying lol. 1
GravityMan Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 I generally agree with clia and regine_phalange that if a shy guy is really interested in a woman - he will make a move. Especially an adult shy guy. Strong interest tends to give a person strength and help him mitigate his fear. He might need a little "encouragement" from his friends...his approach may be awkward and/or nervous...both of which may be attractive or a turnoff to a woman. But deep down I think they realize that if they don't do SOMETHING to get the ball rolling, there may not be a "next time". He may be more likely to approach if he's in an environment that's comfortable to him. I suspect a majority of shy guys meet women through friends, work, school, etc. Now a guy who's so shy that he's downright timid OTOH...maybe he won't ever approach. But nearly everyone who is timid as a young kid grows out of that while they're still a kid - perhaps improving from timid to merely mildly shy. Timid adults are rare. 3
keepontruckin Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 I generally agree with clia and regine_phalange that if a shy guy is really interested in a woman - he will make a move. Especially an adult shy guy. You are wrong.
keepontruckin Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 For the record, I've been a shy guy growing up and I didn't get my first girlfriend till I was 31. I've never had a girl ask me out or ask for my number. I bet you have something in common with the guy that confusedsoul14 likes. You're both very good looking. That's why a girl is willing to put in all that effort to chase a guy when he doesn't pursue her. Good looks trump everything. Since you ask, I will tell... I have a pretty good physique for my age, but I'm no Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, or Jordan Catalano... My sexual performance is average at best. I am not rich, but stable. I am average for all intents and purposes, but have my **** together, mostly... Here's the thing... Some girls like "bad boys," and some like "good boys"... I have never been a bad boy, so I missed out on that. As you age, women decide that they all of a sudden want "good boys," (until their mid-life crisis, but that is another subject) and the better you look, the better your chances. Now, I know genes play a good part in this, also understand that there are things that are in your control that you can change if you want to. Weight, hairstyle, clothing, etc... Even confidence. I'll be honest... Good women may secretly desire the "bad boy," but he is not desirable for their long term goals. I have always been honest, smile when dealing with everyone, and I don't try to pretend I'm someone I'm not... I will hold the door open for someone, whether anyone is looking or not. Character traits, yo!~ Do this. Do this with every person that you meet. I'll be honest also... If you weigh 400 lbs, that blonde model will be out of reach. We all have to stay realistic also, and understand that unless you are a multi-millionaire, there are some limits that we just have to deal with and accept!
Els Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 I think even the shiest guys, find the guts to approach a woman they really like. It melts my heart when they show such will and tame their natural tendency of shyness. edit; The approach may not happen immediately and you will have to give them a lot of green light to proceed. Yep, this has been my experience as well. My SO and my ex are usually quiet and reticent enough in general (as well as not overtly displaying any interest in women, even when single), that most people thought I asked them out. People are very surprised when I tell them that they did! I think there's something incredibly sweet about being the girl that the guy overcomes his shyness to ask out. It's kinda like the 'bad boy who is good to just you' fascination, except a lot less risky. Plus many shy people can really open up with a startling amount of depth when they finally meet someone whom they want to have inside their barriers, IMO. OP - I think that if you like him, it really depends on how long YOU are willing to wait - there are no shoulds or should nots. When he exceeds that time, you decide whether you want to be the one to ask him out instead, or whether you want to move on. Personally I always enjoyed taking things slow and getting to know them first, so there was no issue in waiting a while, but we are all different people. 1
keepontruckin Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 Forgot to add... Confidence with being single... Some shy guys have a problem with this. Others do not. Two different mindsets. I have been single for the better part of my life, and have achieved confidence with this lifestyle. My recent upcoming divorce has devastated me, but you keep on truckin... You must find happiness and stability within yourself first and foremost. I learned this when I was two years old, due to my dysfunctional family structure. You be happy with yourself, you become a one man wolf pack. The wolfpack satisfies its own needs. The wolfpack is successful. You'd be surprised who knocks on the door once that wolf pack is running at full steam...
Author confusedsoul14 Posted March 4, 2014 Author Posted March 4, 2014 When an opportunity came along (e.g. a concert or a conference/expo) I would say that I'm thinking of going even though I don't have any company. Well, it has worked twice so far. And it's not awkward as it doesn't have a "date" vibe (even though practically it is one) After hanging out in the event, you can go for a drink or food or walk "because it's too early". I'm kinda sad today. I did the same as you did. Yesterday, I texted him about this event that we can both attend, but he hasn't replied at all. It's his first time not replying to my text. I simply don't understand this guy. Why does he keep pushing me away? It's so hard to explain. It's like.... I can feel that he is attracted to me but whenever I try to do something about it, he disappoints me.
Author confusedsoul14 Posted March 4, 2014 Author Posted March 4, 2014 OP - I think that if you like him, it really depends on how long YOU are willing to wait - there are no shoulds or should nots. When he exceeds that time, you decide whether you want to be the one to ask him out instead, or whether you want to move on. Personally I always enjoyed taking things slow and getting to know them first, so there was no issue in waiting a while, but we are all different people. I don't mind waiting at all. But would you wait for someone who seems to like you but keep pushing you away for some reason?
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