confusedsoul14 Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 Recently, I'm starting to get really frustrated with this guy who obviously likes me but is too shy to do absolutely anything about it at all! So before I decide that I'm completely fed up, I want to re-evaluate my situation by asking you a question. If your guy was extremely shy with you at first, how did you get him out of his shell and make him comfortable? And how long did it take to accomplish that? And finally I'm addressing all the shy guys out there- Why do you make things so complicated for the girl that you like???
Frank2thepoint Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 Recently, I'm starting to get really frustrated with this guy who obviously likes me but is too shy to do absolutely anything about it at all! So before I decide that I'm completely fed up, I want to re-evaluate my situation by asking you a question. If your guy was extremely shy with you at first, how did you get him out of his shell and make him comfortable? And how long did it take to accomplish that? And finally I'm addressing all the shy guys out there- Why do you make things so complicated for the girl that you like??? What are you fed up about? That he likes you? If you know that he likes you, it doesn't sound like he is that shy. You never said that you are interested in him, so therefore you are probably projecting this to the guy, which makes sense why he hasn't made a move on you.
MrMeh Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 Maybe he has no idea you are interested and doesn't want to embarrass himself. Try putting yourself in situations where you have to talk. 4
Syconort Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 What kind of signs have you given him that you're interested? I'm generally a shy guy, and in the past it has led to a kind of tunnel vision when around girls. I've been so distracted with petty self-talk that I haven't seen one of the many signals of interest. My advice: be direct in a non-threatening way. For example, text him and say you like him and you want to see him again. That might be all the "come on" he needs to feel confident about making a move. Get touchy-feely with him and be playful. You'll probably have to turn up the dial on your flirting. But the shy guy isn't the only problem here. You both have the same underlying fear: rejection. Why have you not pushed forward? Please don't tell me you've fallen for the BS about how men should make the first move? You're both reserved about something otherwise someone would have made a move. 2
LifeGoesOnMan Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 ask him out lol or put the moves on. dudes love when you do that. wish more girls would. 6
Keenly Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 Have you been sitting around doing nothing ? Expecting the shy guy to magically turn into a smooth guy with game ? You need to make your interest very clear and make it obvious you are emotionally " safe ". Can't just sit back and expect it to be handed to you with shy guys. 3
mukkrakker Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 Why do you make things so complicated for the girl that you like??? please, who is making this complicated? you're playing games tell the guy you like him and ask him out and if you don't, let him off your hook 2
hasaquestion Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 Recently, I'm starting to get really frustrated with this guy who obviously likes me but is too shy to do absolutely anything about it at all! So before I decide that I'm completely fed up, I want to re-evaluate my situation by asking you a question. If your guy was extremely shy with you at first, how did you get him out of his shell and make him comfortable? And how long did it take to accomplish that? And finally I'm addressing all the shy guys out there- Why do you make things so complicated for the girl that you like??? Do you know any of his friends well? If you do, something you can do without having to literally fall all over him (which is totally unreasonable), is ask the friend to drop a strong hint for you. I've seen that work well with shy men. One of his friends can tell him to sack the f*ck up. If that doesn't do it then nothing will. 1
Stay_Gold Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 I don't know what signals you have given him for interest. Even then some of the signals might be interpreted on his end that you are just being friendly and that's just your personality and nothing more to it. So he is probably doing the right thing to be hesitant about making a move if the signals of interest are not that obvious. It is much better than getting his hopes up and reading into every signal as a sign of interest. I am a shy guy myself and I would rather risk erring on the side of missing a woman's buying signals than to assume she is interested when she may just be a friendly personality and nothing more. Men have been around enough and we know better that just because a woman talks to us does not prove that she is interested in us romantically. This is me EXACTLY!! I am a very shy guy around girls I LIKE or feel ATTRACTED to. When I am around girls I DON'T like or do not feel any attraction for...I am usually pretty outgoing and assertive. I would rather play it safe and not get my hopes up and encounter a rejection or get my heart broken. Thats just how I play my game. To the OP: Try and give him some signs. If anything...TALK TO HIM and tell him how you feel. 1
harrybrown Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 Have one of your friends or one of his friends set up a double date.
Author confusedsoul14 Posted February 27, 2014 Author Posted February 27, 2014 Have you been sitting around doing nothing ? Expecting the shy guy to magically turn into a smooth guy with game ? You need to make your interest very clear and make it obvious you are emotionally " safe ". Can't just sit back and expect it to be handed to you with shy guys. I haven't been sitting around. You don't know how many times I have seen this guy staring at me. Even my friends have noticed it and they keep teasing me for that. So I went up to him and asked for his number. He willingly gave it to me. The first day I texted him he replied within 30 seconds....he always replies my text quickly and doesn't try to end the conversation. However he never texted first. And now, I think he has become even more shy because he tries to completely ignore me sometimes. I mean, didn't I give him the right sign by asking for his number without any apparent reason?
somedude81 Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 What kinds of text messages have you been sending him?
Keenly Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 I haven't been sitting around. You don't know how many times I have seen this guy staring at me. Even my friends have noticed it and they keep teasing me for that. So I went up to him and asked for his number. He willingly gave it to me. The first day I texted him he replied within 30 seconds....he always replies my text quickly and doesn't try to end the conversation. However he never texted first. And now, I think he has become even more shy because he tries to completely ignore me sometimes. I mean, didn't I give him the right sign by asking for his number without any apparent reason? You're gonna need to do more than just give him your number and text him sometimes. Start off with something you are doing that's fun, but heavily imply it would be MORE fun if he were there. 1
Candy_Pants Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 IME shy guys will remain shy. There's no point in being with someone you don't actually like and are hoping to change. 1
Frank2thepoint Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 I haven't been sitting around. You don't know how many times I have seen this guy staring at me. Even my friends have noticed it and they keep teasing me for that. So I went up to him and asked for his number. He willingly gave it to me. The first day I texted him he replied within 30 seconds....he always replies my text quickly and doesn't try to end the conversation. However he never texted first. And now, I think he has become even more shy because he tries to completely ignore me sometimes. I mean, didn't I give him the right sign by asking for his number without any apparent reason? Well now the plot thickens, and you have provided more information. You should of mentioned this in your original post, instead of taking your anger out on shy guys. With this new information I don't think he is shy, he sounds like he's used to you chasing him. You initiate all conversations consistently and he's probably gotten used to the attention that he feels he doesn't have to invest effort. Now before you decide that you will play games, and stop initiating texts with him, I suggest for you to just ask him straight out if he is interested in you. You sound like a confident person, so this shouldn't be a problem. If he says he is interested, then ask him out yourself, or if you want him to show some effort, ask him why hasn't he asked you out yet. If he says otherwise on the interest, then you have your answer. 3
mukkrakker Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 didn't I give him the right sign by asking for his number Jeezy Creezy ask him out already! 1
skippy88 Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 I'm guessing he doesn't initiate texting because he may not want to come off as needy, or he's just not that into you, or he's like me and literally needs you to hold up a sign saying your into him. Us guys, especially shy guys are terrible with reading signs, just say what you mean. I also hate the idea that guys are the ones that have to ask girls out, so if you like him ask him out. 2
Secret Advisor Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 My take on this is that you should let him go. If he is not meeting your expectations this early in the game. then obviously this is not the right personality match for you. 1
Author confusedsoul14 Posted February 28, 2014 Author Posted February 28, 2014 My take on this is that you should let him go. If he is not meeting your expectations this early in the game. then obviously this is not the right personality match for you. Thanks a lot for your advice! It's been only two weeks since I asked for his number. During these two weeks, we had 3 text conversations. I keep getting the feeling that he likes me but doesn't know what to do about it/ doesn't want to do anything about it at the moment. So I was wondering if it's too early to give up on him. I mean I'm not in a rush or anything. If something good takes some time to happen, so be it. However, I don't want to waste my time if that "good thing" doesn't seem would happen in this case.
Author confusedsoul14 Posted February 28, 2014 Author Posted February 28, 2014 Jeezy Creezy ask him out already! The last thing I want to do is to make him uncomfortable. He is kinda shy with me, so i'm afraid that if I ask him out now, he will panic and reject me in my face. Besides, I want to be friends with him first because even I need be sure if he is a good match for me. But how do I ask him to be my friend? 1
Keenly Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 Thanks a lot for your advice! It's been only two weeks since I asked for his number. During these two weeks, we had 3 text conversations. I keep getting the feeling that he likes me but doesn't know what to do about it/ doesn't want to do anything about it at the moment. So I was wondering if it's too early to give up on him. I mean I'm not in a rush or anything. If something good takes some time to happen, so be it. However, I don't want to waste my time if that "good thing" doesn't seem would happen in this case. Shy guys like myself can turn out to be really good catches. If you want to give up on something good because it might require a little more effort, that's your choice, but I'm sure you will be well rewarded for patience. 2
Author confusedsoul14 Posted February 28, 2014 Author Posted February 28, 2014 Shy guys like myself can turn out to be really good catches. I feel the same way! So, you don't think it's too early to let him go right? Because honestly, I don't mind waiting. I just don't want to get hurt or something 1
Keenly Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 I feel the same way! So, you don't think it's too early to let him go right? Because honestly, I don't mind waiting. I just don't want to get hurt or something If you don't want to get hurt you might as well become celibate and never leave the house. You can't have the good without the risk of having the bad. Just go with it. Just ask him if he wants to grab some food after a strenuous workout or something. Just keep changing out with him. Either you will grow a pair and ask him out, or he will get more comfortable and you will be able to better assess his feelings. 2
somedude81 Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 What's so appealing about him that you want to go through all this trouble? I'm sure there are other guys around who you know are interested in you.
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