Did he ever love me??

[Heartbroken12416]

Hi Everybody. It's been a little while since I've been here because I have been going through quite a lot latey, but a few weeks ago I posted a thread about how my boyfriend left me while I was sleeping.... Well I've done okay up until now, but I decided to come here and post another thread because there has been something on my mind, bugging the heck out of me....and I need some outside opinions.

 

So in case you haven't seen my previous post about my boyfriend, I will share again so that you can have an idea of what's going on. So my boyfriend and I were dating for 2 months but knew each other for 5. At first we were just "seeing each other' but he was living with his soon to be ex-wife for their children until he could save up enough money to move out on his own. Well one night, things took a turn for the worse between him and his ex and she told him he needed to find a place to live. So yea, I know, big mistake, but of course since we were seeing each other and everything was going great, I allowed him to move in with me....like I said, I know, BIG mistake.

 

So anyway, ever since he moved in with me, things couldn't have been more perfect!. I literally thought, omg I found the perfect guy. We were in the "lovey dovey" stage the whole 2 months....always showing each other affection, "I love you" texts while I was at work, we would always joke around with each other, he was helpful around the house....I mean everything couldn't have been more perfect. The only downside was his "ex" was putting him through quite the ordeal. Like she literally went off the wall crazy.... My bf and I arrive home one day to find the police at our doorstep. We were blown away!. Well apparently the police were there because she claimed that we were driving around her mobile home park "stalking" her and she felt threatened. She also claimed that while we were stalking her, that my bf got out of the car and sliced her friend's tire. So I guess because of this, she felt it was best to get a restraining order on my bf saying that he couldn't be within 500 feet of her. So yea, needless to say, she was going for everything.

 

So anyway, a few weeks after all this was his court date for all of this. So I drive him to court and stay with him for emotional support and whatnot, and he goes and sits down in a chair but I guess it wasn't far enough for his ex, so she, at a very loud voice, says "Your not 500 feet away from me!!!"....literally right there at the court house in front of everybody. We just sat there not saying a word. And to make it even more intense, she gets up from her chair, gets a police officer walking around and tries to get him in trouble for not being 500 feet away from her.... I mean it was bad!. So anyway, the court hearing went well and we eventually left. The next few weeks were very hard though. He would email her (the only way contact was allowed) asking to be able to see his boys for visitation, but she would always come up with a reason why she could not comply. Now this affected my bf so bad that one day we were talking about it in the living room and he broke down crying. It was very hard on the both of us. But anyway....fast forward to the weekend of the February 1st....

 

So my bf gets an email from his ex....but this time it wasn't what we were expecting. In the email, she asked if not only he but if WE (she never liked me since we started seeing each other) would be willing to take his boys every weekend except for 1 weekend a month for visitation because she was getting "burned out". It really took us by surprise cause this was very unlike her, but of course, my bf (like any other father would do), jumped at the chance to be able to be with his children. So he replied back and then a little while later he gets another email from her stating that she would like to talk to him over the phone about this visitation agreement and also about how the boys were doing in school. Now I strongly advised against it....because the restraining order was in effect, he was not allowed to talk to her on the phone about this but she put in the email that she was giving her permission and it would be documented for proof if needed and how she wanted to start acting like adults and whatnot, so he agreed to do it. They were on the phone for about an hour. I heard the very beginning of it but then decided to "trust him" and leave him alone to finish up his conversation. So about an hour later, he comes in and everything resumes and was great!. He was in a MUCH better mood and I was very happy to see him happy.

 

So a few hours later, he gets a call from his ex again and she asked him if he would be willing to take the boys that night (this was Saturday the 1st) and of course he agreed. So she said that she would write something out on paper saying that it was okay that he had visitation of the boys for the weekend (per the restraining order she also fought him for supervised visitation for only a couple hours at a time) and they would both sign it. So we go, pick up the boys, and return home very happily!. I mean the night couldn't have been better. We were both in great spirits!.

 

So the next morning, I have to be to work early so I leave while my bf is still sleeping. On my first break, I text him asking how things were going and he replied that things were great and that he loved me. When I go on my lunch, I notice I have a text from him but it was long. It said that he heard from his ex and her mom was in the hospital and was in critical condition and we may be keeping the boys a little bit longer than expected. I told him it wasn't a problem at all!. So he replied and said he would keep me updated and that he loved me SO much. Well all day that day I really wasn't feeling that well, but towards the end of my lunch, I started feeling worse and got sick, so I was sent home early. I texted him letting him know that I would be home soon and he was excited and said that him and the boys were outside playing in the snow. So I get home and the whole afternoon goes great (besides me not feeling very well). He was the perfect bf, asking if I needed anything, if he could get me anything and whatnot....but I just relaxed and slept it off and started feeling a little bit better later in the day.

 

So I guess the whole time, my bf's ex was keeping him updated on her mom (supposdley she was in ICU) and around 5:00pm she calls him to, I guess, let him know what was going on once again. So they talk for about 20 minutes and then that was that. The night went fine, we had dinner, watched some of the super bowl, etc... but around 8:00pm, I started feeling bad again and told him I was going to sleep. So this is where the mystery comes in.... Around 8:30ish, he came into bed with me and was cuddling with me saying how he felt bad that he didn't come to bed with me, and asked if I was mad at him (which I replied no) and "are you going to be okay?', and just stuff like that....he got upset at one point because he said "I feel bad you had to go to sleep alone" but I reassured him that it was okay, but he said he still felt bad (he was always like that....every time there was an incling that I was upset or mad, he "felt bad" and tried to make things better)....and then the last thing I remember is him saying "I love you", me groggily saying it back....and that was it. I woke up around 11:00pm and he was gone.

 

So I noticed from the verizon records, that his ex called him and was talking on the phone for about a half hour and then was texting him up until the time he left. Now of course, I'm not stupid, I knew their was a good possibility of him being with her, but I still wasn't 100% sure. One of my biggest things was, he only left with the clothes on his back...literally EVERYTHING of his was still with me, so I figured that he'd be back at some point. So for 3 weeks, I hear absolutely nothing....until this past Friday. To make a long story short, he was at his ex's house the whole time and called me to schedule a time to pick up his things. I literally felt my heart and stomach drop . The next day I hear from him again but pretty much just to arrange getting him off of my verizon plan. So this past Tuesday morning, they (yes they), came and got all of his things....and it was the most uncomfortable thing I have ever been through. He comes into the house and doesn't say one word to me, just starts taking his things out the door....of course with his ex on him the whole entire time. Every time he went somewhere for his things, she stayed right on top of him. The only conversation that I got from him was "where is this or where is that". The last thing that was said was he said "thank you" and then he left.....and that was it.

 

So this is why I am having the thoughts that I am. Did he ever love me??...or was I just used the whole entire time??. I really don't want to believe that all of this was fake and he is this horrible horrible person, but in all honesty, I really don't know what to think. I mean, I'm really trying to move on from this but it puts me into tears every single time that I think that there is a possibility that he used me this whole time cause I really felt that he was better than this.

 

If anybody has any advice to give, I'd really appreciate it!.

[David87]

Man your post was long He is a nice guy and all but has a ton of ugly baggage. I think that he really tried to make it work but he still has feeling for his ex.

 

Your relationship was only 2 months long you should recover in no time from this. My advice is to leave him and his ex alone and start NC.

 

And to answer you title: No he didn't love you. Sorry but this is the truth .

[soccerrprp]

I don't know if he's a nice guy, but like David87 said, I don't believe that he loved you. If he loved you, things would not have turned out this way.

 

The reason why I am not certain that he was a nice guy is b/c it is very possible that the idea of getting back together was always in the back of his mind. He may have used the ILY words to create a fantasy relationship with you to appease your mind and convince you that it was more than it really was. People are quite capable of saying ILY and not mean it. His being helpful, lovey-dovey may have been for the purpose of keeping you from having doubts while he figured things out with his ex or prepared for the opportunity to do so. He just got kicked out of his own home, so he's not going to antagonize you while you agreed for him to move in with you.

 

All that he did in such a short period of time, being kicked out, custody issues, animosity from gf and within 2-months he loves you???? I think you were being used, unfortunately. Sorry.