123anthony Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 It's been about two months since me and my girlfriend broke up. The first month was unbearable. I was confused, lost, and had the most important person in my life do a vanishing act. She could offer me no closure, nothing. The break up came from no where, her reasons were terrible and confusing, and she even gave me HOPE. It took me a while to see all my effort was for naught. I was trying and trying, but it was only pushing her further away. It was as if she shut down, and just didn't want anything to do with me. It took me a while to realize it was out of my hands. If she wanted me in her life she wouldn't be creating more and more distance. It's impossible trying to love someone that wont love you back. I've begun healing and focusing on myself a lot more in this second month. I FEEL GREAT, NEW. Am I finished with this process? No. Regardless I've healed with the idea of 'keeping my heart open for love.' I still love her, but I'm also open to new things. I know I'm headed in the right direction and have learned more about myself in these past few months than ever before. It's just part of growing up, you have to live to learn. I wanted to come back after my healing process and be her 'friend'. We were not only lovers but also best friends in our relationship. She will always, always have a place in my heart. BUT, I don't want to settle for bits and pieces of her. I don't want to be around if she finds that guy more special than me. I don't want to be stuck in limbo because she gave me hope from a few half heartened words. Yet I'm still here, sort of, not really. I told her I would take my time and come back to be friends with her at the very least. She wanted that also, or felt guilty enough to say it. I now see it's truly not an option. We had an AMAZING relationship, and words won't do it justice. That's why I'm still confused. I wish I could understand exactly what went wrong in her mind, but only she truly knows. I'm just going to continue my journey forward, since there's nothing left to do. I'm stuck at.... I can't decide if I should just let it be or see her one last time and wish her the best in the world. Then let it go. In the end, I just want her to be happy. She doesn't need me for that right now, maybe ever. She told me what's meant to be, will be. I believe that statement true in two ways. The stars line up, or you take a chance and don't hesitate. I rather take that chance, but it seems she rather wait for the stars to line up.
David87 Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 You handled the break up very well, didn't become a doormat, never begged or pleaded. As for the last question if you should see her one last time I strongly suggest not to do that because it will set you back.
thefear Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 You sound like you're doing extremely well, far better than me. I really don't think you should contact her, it will only do you harm. If she really wants you back in the future, she will let you know. That's something I'm finding hard to accept but that's just how it is. Stay strong and take care.
David87 Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 If you think about it it's realy simple. The dumper's job is to contact you if he wants to reconciliate and the dumpees job is to move on .
Author 123anthony Posted February 27, 2014 Author Posted February 27, 2014 If you think about it it's realy simple. The dumper's job is to contact you if he wants to reconciliate and the dumpees job is to move on . Yeah I understand there's no point in me waiting around, it's hard to think you don't really have any control over it. I've told her that I love her and I want the best for her already. Hopefully with time I'll stop feeling like I could of said one more thing, and one more. I've said it all, I left myself open to her, but I may not always be there for her. Two things scare me; that she may take too long or doesn't want to come back, or that I will move on! No one wants to leave the girl they deem 'perfect'. It is what it is, I guess.
LifeGoesOnMan Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 WALK ON BRO. walk on. no contact. let her do the begging, the hurting, the crawling back boo hoo bs. you did all you can, now keep walkin'. if its meant to be, it will be, and she will come back, trust me. 1
LifeGoesOnMan Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 its funny because I see myself in all these new member's first break up threads. lol trust me on this. walk the f--k on & SHE WILL DO THE WORK
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