Girl with mostly guy friends

[StanMusial]

OP it's something to keep an eye on.

 

People throw around hotbuttons like "insecure" or "controlling" or "inexperienced" based on how they think the things SHOULD be, not how they are.

 

If a girl doesn't have any female friends and only has male friends, the vast majority of the time she is going to have issues. She is not going to be a normal girl. Either deal with it or move on.

[hasaquestion]

I know this is a sore subject on here but I'll give my honest opinion anyway.

 

You can't control how someone else feels. If she wants to go bang another dude, she'll do it. If she wants to ditch you, cheat on you, etc. she'll do it.

 

Being around other guys won't end up in her cheating on you. Being around other guys, who actually listen to her and make her laugh/smile, while you neglect to take care of her and treat her like property? Yeah that'll do it.

[hasaquestion]

OP it's something to keep an eye on.

 

People throw around hotbuttons like "insecure" or "controlling" or "inexperienced" based on how they think the things SHOULD be, not how they are.

 

If a girl doesn't have any female friends and only has male friends, the vast majority of the time she is going to have issues. She is not going to be a normal girl. Either deal with it or move on.

 

Well yeah. But if a guy doesn't have any male friends, a girl will see that as a bit of an issue too, no? I don't think "girls who don't get along with their gender" represent a distinct subset of undesirable people, which is what many people are implying here.

 

Anyone who doesn't play nice with others is likely to be carrying some baggage - male or female.

[onemanband]

red flag, is she a party gir?l ive been to a lot of parties and some guys r a wolf in sheeps clothing watch yourself test the waters first before u jump in

[hotpotato]

OP it's something to keep an eye on.

 

People throw around hotbuttons like "insecure" or "controlling" or "inexperienced" based on how they think the things SHOULD be, not how they are.

 

If a girl doesn't have any female friends and only has male friends, the vast majority of the time she is going to have issues. She is not going to be a normal girl. Either deal with it or move on.

 

Like what kind of issues?

[veggirl]

I would never trust a girl who has all guy friends & no girl friends.

 

I mean you can't get along with 50% of the population? Something's wrong with you. If you think "all" girls are bitches to you........perhaps the problem is you?

[Scales]

Think about it this way, what would you say to a guy who has all female friends? Redflag much? I'd say so.

[love1336x]

My main issue with girls that have lots of guy friends, is that just about every single one of them wants to have sex with her. All of them are waiting for their chance.

 

That has been true for most of my male friends...

While I haven't slept with any of them, they eventually stop being my friend once a girlfriend comes into the picture...

[somedude81]

My girlfriend has had way more guy friends than girls since I've known her, hell I used to be one of them.

 

, I grew up with them, great girls, just far too much like sisters to ever consider adding another level to our relationship. I know they feel the same way.

So have you been interested in your female friends or haven't you?

[Phoe]

I have mostly guy friends, with a handful of female friends. Maybe 90% men, 10% women.

 

I get along well with women just fine (granted they are nice women), I just typically have more common interests with men.

 

 

Most of those men are taken, married, have children. Only a handful are single. None of them have EVER made a move on me, and I know they never would. These are very platonic friendships.

[Hornylildevil]

Well, I don't have any female friends. Not every woman needs that emotional support.

 

That being said, I don't have orbiters either. My bff is a male.

 

In my experience, most guy friends are not friends but suitors. Even if a female doesn't believe they are after sex or dating, they probably are.

 

Most of thetime Iif I have a straight male friend it will not last becauseof sexual and emotional outbursts, sometimes jealousy that I'm dating someone else. Does that sound like friendship?

 

If a female wants male friends, gay men are the way to go.

 

HP, you are taking the most realistic stance on this whole discussion. Most men I know DON'T have many female friends. And if you ladies could hear the things that your male friends say about you to other men...'nuff said. Me and my ex wife had ZERO opposite sex friends, unless they were husbands/ friends of our friends. And neither of us would have been cool with hanging out with opposite sex friends, ESPECIALLY while drinking. My ex was from the Philippines and was VERY old-fashioned, as am I. There can virtually ZERO doubt or suspicion when you don't hang with OS friends. The opportunity for honestly innocent misunderstandings is just too great. I'd never say "You can't be friends with your dude friends anymore!". HOWEVA, there would be restrictions that I would hold myself to as well. What I consider mutual respect I'm sure SOME women on this thread (not naming names! ;-)) will consider jealousy, possesiveness and insecurity. Fine. I gues we won't be dating any time soon. Do I REALLY need to outline those mutual restrictions?

[StanMusial]

Like what kind of issues?

 

It differs. The last girl I dated who was somewhat like this was in and out of therapy.

 

I agree with the posters who question why they can't get along with other girls....

[Shepp]

So have you been interested in your female friends or haven't you?

 

haha, no, like I say, my female friends are strictly platonic, there's a couple i'm dead close to, but there like little sisters, I just couldn't see them in a 'relationship way'.

 

My girlfriend is an exception because that was never strictly platonic...well it was on her part, ish, because she didn't want a relationship. But not for me, I was sold from the first day at my school when she swept over to me at lunch sat down and started helping herself to my chips....we were friends for four years because she had stuff going on, not because I didn't like her.

[AnyaNova]

In my experience....Women that I know, that have more guys friends and few girl friends are the smart women that cant stand the catty, drama filled world of females.

 

My best relationships have been with the guy friends type woman, rather than the girly-girl type that has girlfriends.

 

A woman that has guy friends is more educated about things as far as dealing with and interacting with guys.

 

A woman that has girl friends is clueless because she takes advice from clueless women that give jaded advice and opinions about men and dating.

 

AMEN!!!! Especially the first several sentences!

[hotpotato]

I have mostly guy friends, with a handful of female friends. Maybe 90% men, 10% women.

 

I get along well with women just fine (granted they are nice women), I just typically have more common interests with men.

 

 

Most of those men are taken, married, have children. Only a handful are single. None of them have EVER made a move on me, and I know they never would. These are very platonic friendships.

 

Really? Wear something low cut and flirt with them. Please report back.

 

So many of your guy friends are taken. If men and women were truly adept at being just friends, barriers like marriage and kids wouldn't be necessary.

 

It wouldn't matter whether or not a female friend were married...

[Noproblem]

Where are we? Cave man era?

Seriously? What's wrong with having male friends!

They are more fun and interesting!

[hotpotato]

It differs. The last girl I dated who was somewhat like this was in and out of therapy.

 

I agree with the posters who question why they can't get along with other girls....

 

For some girls, the world of female friendships is very stressful.

 

I happen to be reserved and introverted, which means I'm slower to make friends and date as well. Women especially take this personally.

 

Just to give you another perspective.

[StanMusial]

haha, no, like I say, my female friends are strictly platonic, there's a couple i'm dead close to, but there like little sisters, I just couldn't see them in a 'relationship way'.

 

My girlfriend is an exception because that was never strictly platonic...well it was on her part, ish, because she didn't want a relationship. But not for me, I was sold from the first day at my school when she swept over to me at lunch sat down and started helping herself to my chips....we were friends for four years because she had stuff going on, not because I didn't like her.

 

I wonder if any of her other male "friends" are presently in the spot you held in the past. Are you currently "stuff going on"?

[acrosstheuniverse]

I probably have more male than female friends, although I have many close/best girl friends. I am a bit of a tomboy deep down (beneath the girly clothes and makeup!) and get on better with new guys than new girls for some reason. Just have an easier time making a connection.

 

I've never cheated on anybody, and I would never allow a male friend to cross the line (flirting etc.) when I'm in a relationship with someone. I've had sex with several of my male friends, and the friendship has continued unscathed. I would and do happily introduce all of my male friends to my boyfriends when I'm in a relationship, nothing to hide.

 

My new new boyfriend met a handful of my guy mates at my birthday a week after we started going out with each other, and made the effort to get to know them more, have a laugh, before long he was ganging up against me with them teasing me and my girl mates, the fact that he bonded with them so quickly and with such an utter lack of jealousy endeared me to him even more. I met some of his girl friends the other night who seemed nice, didn't have as much of a chance to bond but I'm happy he has them, one of them he sees as his little sister just like I view my oldest best male friend as a brother, he's moving in with a guy and three girls in a month and a bit.

 

People are people, whether they own ovaries or penises. Life is too short to stress out over stuff like this.

[Shepp]

I wonder if any of her other male "friends" are presently in the spot you held in the past. Are you currently "stuff going on"?

What? Wishing she was with them? Hey, she's gorgeous, everywhere we go i'm sure guys wish she was with them, but its me she comes home with so they can suck It up fellas, lol

Seriously though, most of her friends are my friends, they know shes had it rough, they're happy we're together, I trust her and I trust them

 

Am I currently "stuff going on"? Well I reckon boyfriend and baby twins probably does make the cut as "stuff"......but when I said that I meant more..her mum had died, her dad was a waste of space, she was hurtin' - she just wasn't in a good headspace. That's why she wouldn't get into a relationship with me, it wasn't to do with another fella.

[StanMusial]

What? Wishing she was with them? Hey, she's gorgeous, everywhere we go i'm sure guys wish she was with them, but its me she comes home with so they can suck It up fellas, lol

Seriously though, most of her friends are my friends, they know shes had it rough, they're happy we're together, I trust her and I trust them

 

Am I currently "stuff going on"? Well I reckon boyfriend and baby twins probably does make the cut as "stuff"......but when I said that I meant more..her mum had died, her dad was a waste of space, she was hurtin' - she just wasn't in a good headspace. That's why she wouldn't get into a relationship with me, it wasn't to do with another fella.

 

The general point I was making, is that you were her friend, and you wanted her for more than a friend.

 

My gf is an attractive gal and I notice guys checking her out sometimes and I don't care. If she had guy friends that she hung around frequently that wanted her? I wouldn't like it. I don't consider myself particularly insecure, or controlling, or even jealous.

 

I wouldn't let the fox into the henhouse and tell the farmer to stop being insecure about his chickens either.

[lino]

A girl with disproportionately many more male friends than female ones is definitely a red flag. Most of those guys will be waiting for their chance at a piece by being 'friends' with her.

 

Now, I have female friends who I love like my sister and have been my friends for a very long time. Nothing wrongat all with opposite gender friends.

 

The problem comes when you hear things like 'girls are so catty, that's why I prefer guy friends', 'I've never gotten along well/had much in common with other girls ', etc.

 

That always makes me wonder, why can't she get along with other women enough to have a handful of female friends? There must be a reason and usually it isn't a good one.

Why can't she get along with girls but so well with just guys?

 

I would never trust a girl who has all guy friends & no girl friends.

 

I mean you can't get along with 50% of the population? Something's wrong with you. If you think "all" girls are bitches to you........perhaps the problem is you?

 

Well said.

 

I mean, really, ALL girls are bitchy except you? Hmmmm

[Leigh 87]

All my male friends wanted to date me/still want to.

 

I have stopped seeing one of them because it was too obvious that he was attracted to me/wanted to date me (even though he knows I have a boyfriend and has met my boyfriend a few times).

 

Guy one (not the same guy I mentioned above who I have stopped hanging out with) he is 45 I am 27. We met when I was newly single and needed an ego boost (he is good looking). We talked, he asked me out on a date. I declined when I realised how old he was.

We became good friends and he now refers to me as his "sister". We are very platonic.

Although a few months back when I broke up with a short term fling, he said " Leigh, I don't seriously consider dating women beyond casual, but with you it would be different; let me know if you ever change your mind about me. I would be open to a relationship with you"

And that was it. Late last year in early October it was.

Since then he hasn't alluded to any sort of sexual or romantic interest and he has never once been inappropriate.

I haven't stopped being his friend because he is funny and I like hanging out with him a lot and I know he would be there for me in times of need.

 

I have another male friend who, when I was single, asked if I would ever consider dating him. I said no.

He has never mentioned anything like it since.

He is never inappropriate. He gets it loud and clear that we are FRIENDS.

 

Then there is an older guy I have been good friends with since 2009 ish. We have NEVER had a sexual undertone or history whatsoever and never will.

He is the ONLY male friend who has NEVER alluded to being sexually open to me.

 

 

 

 

I am not all that when it comes to looks, so it is not like I am some hot babe who all the guys think is sexy; I am just a VERY typical example of a girl who cannot really have ANY male friends who are merely platonic with me.

My friend who is stunning looking can't have male friends; they fall hard for her because her beauty is obviously too over powering.

 

Her only male friend is gay.

 

She literally has no male friends besides the gay one. The guys she tried friendship with were too attracted to her to contain their sexual innuendoes.

[Leigh 87]

By the way ^^^ I also have an equal female to male friend ratio, and I see my female friends WAY MORE than I do male.

 

 

With male friends, I would never just spend the night with them, even if I was to obviously crash on the couch.

 

 

A male friend stayed over once when my boyfriend was also over, because he had a bit to drink and needed to crash here.

 

 

I also don't text or faceobook chat with male friends, even my good ones, more than a couple of times a week... Where as a talk to my female friends a lot.

[StanMusial]

I mean, really, ALL girls are bitchy except you? Hmmmm

 

I have seen girls who feel this way, and they are typically insecure or jealous of other girls... so they prefer to hang out with guys that Wow, treat them so nicely....