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Girl with mostly guy friends

jcm101

By jcm101
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pickflicker Established Member

pickflicker

Posted
Posted
Once you shag, you look at women differently.

 

At least that how it was for me. Maybe I'm a unique snowflake :o

 

All are potential conquests? How conquering Roman of you. Too bad sex isnt the be all and end all of human interaction. In fact it's a pretty small slice of the pie.

  • Like 1
somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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I have no doubt that many male friends wish to sleep with their female friends. But the issue here is that if a girl has male friends, why must she immediately be deemed untrustworthy?

My long post where I gave the story about my ex and her guy friend answers your question.

 

Why must she be patronised as "well, you poor woman, you can't go out drinking with them because they might stick a penis in you."

Some people do some really stupid things when they've had too much to drink.

 

Wanting to shag everything that moves doesn't give you a point of reference. You were mad at your gf spending the day with her male friend because you'd rather be getting laid. True or false?

False.

 

We both understood that when I visit her in her city, that there will be no sex nor will anything naughty ever happen. Those things only took place in my apartment.

 

I just wanted to spend time with her.

pickflicker Established Member

pickflicker

Posted
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My long post where I gave the story about my ex and her guy friend answers your question.

 

 

Some people do some really stupid things when they've had too much to drink.

 

 

False.

 

We both understood that when I visit her in her city, that there will be no sex nor will anything naughty ever happen. Those things only took place in my apartment.

 

I just wanted to spend time with her.

 

But you can't stop a person from going drinking just because they may do something stupid. You just have to trust them.

 

No trust, no relationship. And absence makes the heart grow fonder. Next time, embrace a day that your partner is taking away from you by using it to rest and recharge yourself. You'll be a better partner for it.

clia Established Member

clia

Posted
Posted
I'll break it down the most basic levels.

 

Guys want to sleep with their female friends. Even if they don't want to now, they did want to at some point.

 

With all due respect, you are posting from the perspective of a person who places no value on friendships, who does not appreciate what friendship provides, who has no friends, who doesn't want to try to make friends, and who would not "make friends" with a girl unless you thought it might get you into a relationship with her. You solely see girls for girlfriend or sex. So of course you can't relate to a guy who might just want to be friends with a girl.

 

You are not the norm, so please don't speak in behalf of all men.

  • Like 3
somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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But you can't stop a person from going drinking just because they may do something stupid. You just have to trust them.

 

No trust, no relationship.

It's just harder to trust when alcohol is involved. I've heard far too many stories where things went wrong because people were drinking.

 

And absence makes the heart grow fonder. Next time, embrace a day that your partner is taking away from you by using it to rest and recharge yourself. You'll be a better partner for it.
Eh, a common theme in our relationship was that we never saw each other enough. Well 2-3 days a week wasn't enough for me. In answer to your previous question, I don't know how long after that we went together.

 

My issue was that I was already in her city so I might as well see her briefly. That by itself isn't that big of deal. What got me was that she was with another guy. And not only that, she was doing something with him that I would have gladly done with her. I would have happily spent all day hiking with her. It seemed odd to me that she would want to go hiking with him, when I'm her boyfriend. Then she had dinner with his family and stayed there till around 10. It just seemed inappropriate to me, when I'm her boyfriend, not him.

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
Posted
With all due respect, you are posting from the perspective of a person who places no value on friendships, who does not appreciate what friendship provides, who has no friends, who doesn't want to try to make friends, and who would not "make friends" with a girl unless you thought it might get you into a relationship with her. You solely see girls for girlfriend or sex. So of course you can't relate to a guy who might just want to be friends with a girl.

 

You are not the norm, so please don't speak in behalf of all men.

Sheesh, did all the men abandon this thread?

 

It's just a Women vs. SD thread.

BDL Established Member

BDL

Posted
Posted

Why argue with the ladies? :lmao:

 

Guys know how other guys think. That should be enough a reason to seriously question whether a girl having mostly guy friends instead of girlfriends should be a red flag or not. The OP started a thread so he had enough reason to be doubtful. He should trust his gut.

  • Like 3
somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
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Why argue with the ladies? :lmao:

Because I'm bored on Wednesday night and it's a fun thread :)

 

Guys know how others guy think. That should be enough a reason to seriously question whether a girl having mostly guy friends instead of girlfriends should be a red flag or not. The OP started a thread so he had enough reason to be doubtful. He should trust his gut.

Yup.

clia Established Member

clia

Posted
Posted

Eh, a common theme in our relationship was that we never saw each other enough. Well 2-3 days a week wasn't enough for me. In answer to your previous question, I don't know how long after that we went together.

 

My issue was that I was already in her city so I might as well see her briefly. That by itself isn't that big of deal. What got me was that she was with another guy. And not only that, she was doing something with him that I would have gladly done with her. I would have happily spent all day hiking with her. It seemed odd to me that she would want to go hiking with him, when I'm her boyfriend. Then she had dinner with his family and stayed there till around 10. It just seemed inappropriate to me, when I'm her boyfriend, not him.

 

I know this is off topic, but are still believing there were no signs or indications that your relationship wasn't working? Because this is a huge, blaring, blazing sign. Even if the friend was female, it would have been a sign. You were in her hood and she couldn't find even a few minutes to see you. She had better things to do. That is not the sign of a woman who is crazy about a guy or in love with a guy. It just isn't. Did you ask yourself why she didn't ask you to join her and her friend? Wouldn't that be a normal progression? Instead, she never introduced you to any of her friends. That is a red flag. A huge one. Regardless of the sex of the friend. JMO.

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
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I know this is off topic, but are still believing there were no signs or indications that your relationship wasn't working? Because this is a huge, blaring, blazing sign. Even if the friend was female, it would have been a sign. You were in her hood and she couldn't find even a few minutes to see you. She had better things to do. That is not the sign of a woman who is crazy about a guy or in love with a guy. It just isn't. Did you ask yourself why she didn't ask you to join her and her friend? Wouldn't that be a normal progression? Instead, she never introduced you to any of her friends. That is a red flag. A huge one. Regardless of the sex of the friend. JMO.

Heh, and Pickflicker thought it wasn't a big deal at all.

 

Frankly I was surprised that she went to his house after their hike. I was more surprised when she was still there past 9, and had a couple of drinks and didn't want to risk driving home till she sobered up.

 

Anyways, this happened one or two months into the relationship. After we talked about it, it never happened again. I also told her that I would be happy to go hiking with her and her friend, or do anything with her friends.

 

Why she never wanted to introduce me to any of her friends, I have no idea. I just chalked it up to us living so far from each other and it seemed that she didn't spend much time with her friends. She was mostly a homebody or doing stuff by herself. We were very similar in that regard.

pickflicker Established Member

pickflicker

Posted
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It's just harder to trust when alcohol is involved. I've heard far too many stories where things went wrong because people were drinking.

 

Eh, a common theme in our relationship was that we never saw each other enough. Well 2-3 days a week wasn't enough for me. In answer to your previous question, I don't know how long after that we went together.

 

My issue was that I was already in her city so I might as well see her briefly. That by itself isn't that big of deal. What got me was that she was with another guy. And not only that, she was doing something with him that I would have gladly done with her. I would have happily spent all day hiking with her. It seemed odd to me that she would want to go hiking with him, when I'm her boyfriend. Then she had dinner with his family and stayed there till around 10. It just seemed inappropriate to me, when I'm her boyfriend, not him.

 

2/3 times per week is quite normal, given the fact that she has friends. More than that would be appropriate if married or living together, but your expectations of more are unreasonable in a new relationship.

Chalkdust89 Established Member

Chalkdust89

Posted
Posted
Why argue with the ladies? :lmao:

 

Guys know how other guys think. That should be enough a reason to seriously question whether a girl having mostly guy friends instead of girlfriends should be a red flag or not. The OP started a thread so he had enough reason to be doubtful. He should trust his gut.

 

Guys clearly do not understand how girls think, which should be the important part of this thread. Maybe actually LISTENING to the female perspective, which many of us have offered, would shed some light on why you should NOT automatically be worried if a girl has guy friends. How many women have to say they wouldn't have sex with their male friends before you believe that women will not unconditionally want to sleep with men who they consider friends?

 

If a guy wants to sleep with one of his girl friends, this doesn't mean the feelings are necessarily reciprocated. To assume that any girl with mostly guy friends is going to sleep with all of them eventually, is to limit your chances with many perfectly normal and trustworthy women (not to mention insulting to our gender and highlighting your own insecurities).

  • Like 4
Conners Established Member

Conners

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I personally do not think it's a red flag but I agree it can cause insecurity issues.

If a guy I was seeing had a lot of friends who were girls it would definitely make me feel a bit insecure..

 

I think it all comes down to whether or not you trust the girl. Don't go on with the BS like "I trust you, I just don't trust other guys" it's insulting.

 

My best friend is a guy - I have never kissed or had sex with him. I don't plan on it either. I have other guy friends and to be honest, I prefer them to my girl friends because I am somewhat of a tom boy.

hotpotato Established Member

hotpotato

Posted
Posted
Your perspective is that there is no sexual tension, but really can you know for sure what your guy friends' intentions are? Unless you're surrounded by eunuchs, most guys ("nice" or not) are just biding their time waiting to get into your pants. A lot of guys will be in your orbit waiting their chance to be the shoulder to cry on. Women NEED female friends for emotional support and understanding.

 

Well, I don't have any female friends. Not every woman needs that emotional support.

 

That being said, I don't have orbiters either. My bff is a male.

 

In my experience, most guy friends are not friends but suitors. Even if a female doesn't believe they are after sex or dating, they probably are.

 

Most of thetime Iif I have a straight male friend it will not last becauseof sexual and emotional outbursts, sometimes jealousy that I'm dating someone else. Does that sound like friendship?

 

If a female wants male friends, gay men are the way to go.

  • Like 2
hotpotato Established Member

hotpotato

Posted
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Probably 9 out of every 10 female friends I've had I would have slept with, given the right circumstances (booze, etc.). Sorry but I think most guys would agree.

Yep! It's very easy for a man to be sexually attracted to a woman. If he's hanging around, the chances of him wanting sex are high.

 

Why argue with the ladies? :lmao:

 

Guys know how other guys think. That should be enough a reason to seriously question whether a girl having mostly guy friends instead of girlfriends should be a red flag or not. The OP started a thread so he had enough reason to be doubtful. He should trust his gut.

This is usually how these threads go.

 

Can men and women be friends?

 

Men:Nooo!

Women: Yesss!

HUGE red flag. Proceed with extreme caution. Lack of girl friends indicates that they have an attitude that girls can’t stand to be around. Given that all girls are b!tches (or so we’ve been told by all girls), it says something particularly damning about their character if women think their brand of b!tchiness goes beyond what’s considered reasonable. To be forewarned is to be forearmed.

Not always. Some girls just have a lot of male interests.

 

I wouldn't sleep with any of my male friends, it would be like sleeping with my brother

The feeling is not mutual.

Denial and projection are often at the heart of male female 'friendships.'

 

Is this a huge red flag?

 

 

I met up with a girl on campus today and she brought up how she doesn't have many girl friends. She doesn't seem like a slutty girl at all, so I don't know. Is this a red flag for you?

 

That depends. She may really believe they are just friends. Are you cool with orbiters slobbering over her?

 

If something happened in your hypothetical relationship, whose shoulder is she going to cry on?

 

If she is spending one on one time with them, they may believe the attraction is mutual. Enter jealousy. Women make the situation worse by spending one on one time with their orbiters.

Edited by hotpotato
  • Like 3
Emilia Established Member

Emilia

Posted
Posted (edited)
With all due respect, you are posting from the perspective of a person who places no value on friendships, who does not appreciate what friendship provides, who has no friends, who doesn't want to try to make friends, and who would not "make friends" with a girl unless you thought it might get you into a relationship with her. You solely see girls for girlfriend or sex. So of course you can't relate to a guy who might just want to be friends with a girl.

 

You are not the norm, so please don't speak in behalf of all men.

 

 

OP, I have both male and female friends but many more of the former. I love a laugh in the office with the ladies but prefer socialising with men because what we do is usually activity based (watching sport, going to some venue together, going shooting, etc, whatever) while girls just want to sit and chat and to me that's boring.

 

I meet most of my friends through sports and almost by default that makes them men. The two women I work with are great company but outside the office we have such different lifestyles.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Comments on other members redacted
  • Like 4
StanMusial Established Member

StanMusial

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I doubt some dudes in college would want to fool around with some coed.

 

Wait...

HeartbrokenNewbie Established Member

HeartbrokenNewbie

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I have loads of guy friends & never have I nor ever will I cheat x take a chance on her x

Revolver Established Member

Revolver

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I've seen young Women tend to get jealous of women who are seemingly cool with a lot of guys and start "slut" rumors.

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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This is usually how these threads go.

 

Can men and women be friends?

 

Men:Nooo!

Women: Yesss!

 

Ha ha ha! :lmao:

 

It's amazing how many women are in denial about the nature of men.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Response to edited post redacted
Els Established Member

Els

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Posted (edited)

There's nothing wrong with women who have male friends (or men who have female friends, for that matter). It's pretty silly to limit your friendship options to half the population.

 

The only way I'd see it as a red flag is if the person is purposefully avoiding friendships with the same sex or badmouthing their sex.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Reference to other thread/poster redacted
  • Like 1
yankees51988 Established Member

yankees51988

Posted
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I am a guy and a couple of my very close friends are girls and I have plenty of other good chick friends. You must assume that girls are only for dating or sex. Why can't you hang out and get **** faced with them and go see a concert then do the same stupid stuff you do with your guy friends?

 

We always hang out and party with a huge group of people, mixed gender. I've also become real close friends with girls by dating/screwing their best friends or them dating/screwing mine. Even after the other stuff ends we remain friends.

 

Why do I need to bang these chick friends, there are so many other chicks to bang? I'm hanging out with these girls because they are fun as **** and like to get completely wasted with me and have a good time, as well as sharing a lot of other similar interests. If anything I'll drag them out to the bar and have them wing woman me a girl there, or they'd be happy to hook me up with one of their friends. I would turn my good chick friends down definitely, even with some alcohol. I hang out with them because they are fun and we have a good time, not because I am waiting for them to be all sad and swoop in. That is the lamest way to get a girl anyway, you are a poosay if you have to do it some sneaky bs way like that.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Inflammatory content redacted
  • Like 1
Shepp Established Member

Shepp

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My girlfriend has had way more guy friends than girls since I've known her, hell I used to be one of them.

I don't find it a problem - I like that we share friends and I like that I can spend loads of time with her and my mates together.

 

 

I find the men & women CAN'T be friends thing funny though...Though the majority of my buddies are guys, I've got a few really good girl mates, mostly in that core group of kids-who-were-close-to-my-age-and-lived-in-my-village, I grew up with them, great girls, just far too much like sisters to ever consider adding another level to our relationship. I know they feel the same way.

I remember my girlfriend talking about the subject yearsss ago when we were still at school, and I remember her saying something like "its bull, it wouldn't be physically possible for me to be more than friends which every guy im friends with....when would I eat" :laugh: It was a good point though, you cant argue with that kind of logic!

  • Like 2
hotpotato Established Member

hotpotato

Posted
Posted (edited)

 

 

Ha ha ha! :lmao:

 

It's amazing how many women are in denial about the nature of men.

 

The denial is STRONG!

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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