Girl with mostly guy friends

[somedude81]

After 6 months? Good luck with that.

After any point in time that after we become official.

 

Would you seriously have no problem with your boyfriend being unable to or even not wanting to see you, because he was with another woman?

 

BTW, did you read my whole post or just stop at that line?

[pickflicker]

Somedude, if early on in a relationship, a guy got 'mad' at me for spending one day with a friend instead of them, I would have dumped them on the spot. Unbelievably immature behaviour on your part. You get to be the most important man in her life when you earn it.

[carhill]

Is this a huge red flag?

 

 

I met up with a girl on campus today and she brought up how she doesn't have many girl friends. She doesn't seem like a slutty girl at all, so I don't know. Is this a red flag for you?

If those friendships are mutual interest-based, like hobbies and activities, and transparent and a substantial portion of the young men have girlfriends/wives of their own, I might overlook her inability or disinterest in forming healthy interpersonal relationships with her own gender. If they're a bunch of single guys orbiting, next.

 

OP, unknown what your friendship mix is but examine your propensity to exclude male friends in favor of female friends, if you have such a propensity. How do you feel about your friendship mix? Got some close male friends?

 

TBH, one of the aspects about my exW that I really liked was that she had some close girlfriends, as well as having male friends (nearly all married). Everything was open and transparent and I enjoyed her male friends immensely. That's how it should work, IMO.

 

You're young, so things are likely different. If something feels 'off', don't discount that. Trust yourself. Good luck.

[pickflicker]

After any point in time that after we become official.

 

Would you seriously have no problem with your boyfriend being unable to or even not wanting to see you, because he was with another woman?

 

BTW, did you read my whole post or just stop at that line?

 

He's spending one day with her and not with me. Big f*cking deal. He can hang out with me later. Menawhile I get to have a day to myself.

 

How soon after hanging out with her male friend did she come and see you?

 

The answer to your question is yes I read it, and no, I don't have a problem. I am not insecure.

[somedude81]

I think that's really unfair. You make men seem like sex-hungry monsters. I have considerably more guy friends than girls, which is something that happens when your major is chemistry, but I doubt any of them are interested, and I am not interested whatsoever. Never have, never will be. I prefer to date outside of my friendship circle and men who I am not friends with first, since I don't like destroying friendships. Any of my female friends have done the same.

I don't agree with you that men aren't sharks. One, you're not a man and don't know how we think, two, you must not have heard men talking to each other.

A girl can go out drinking with her male buddies if she wants to, provided she is responsible and behaves like an adult with self-control.

 

Men aren't sharks and women aren't prey. If any girlfriends you have are unable to act responsibly and respectably around male company, especially when alcohol and such are involved, why would you want to be with that person anyway?

The bold is the most important part.

 

I've been a member of this forum for a very long time, and I've seen many threads about cheating that started with "I had a little too much to drink."

 

There is nothing wrong with dating a woman who is "unable to act responsibly and respectably around male company" when alcohol is involved as long as she knows to avoid such situations.

 

Again, why take that risk?

 

 

 

Well firstly I am in a relationship, and if a guy friend tried to kiss me he would be getting a nice big slap in the face and a yelling from me.

While that's great, it wasn't what I asked.

 

I was saying for you to try to kiss one of your guy friends and see if he would stop you. It's a test that I believe most guys will fail.

 

If a guy friend was really a friend he wouldn't try hitting on the female. They would be classified an acquaintance nothing more nothing less. A true friend is just that - a friend.

And again, the test is for the girl to hit on the guy and see if he turns you down. A good friend will stop you and say that it's wrong.

[fortyninethousand322]

Well firstly I am in a relationship, and if a guy friend tried to kiss me he would be getting a nice big slap in the face and a yelling from me.

 

If a guy friend was really a friend he wouldn't try hitting on the female. They would be classified an acquaintance nothing more nothing less. A true friend is just that - a friend.

 

I don't know, let's say you had a male friend that you kind of liked but didn't think he liked you back. You're dating some other guy and your male friend does in fact go in to kiss you and you like him more than the guy you're currently dating.

 

Presto, relationship over. Most likely.

 

No way to stop this really, but it's why some guy might be less willing to date a woman who had a lot of male friends. Especially if that guy didn't have a lot of luck in the romance department himself...

[somedude81]

I'll break it down the most basic levels.

 

Guys want to sleep with their female friends. Even if they don't want to now, they did want to at some point.

[pickflicker]

I don't agree with you that men aren't sharks. One, you're not a man and don't know how we think, two, you must not have heard men talking to each other.

 

The bold is the most important part.

 

I've been a member of this forum for a very long time, and I've seen many threads about cheating that started with "I had a little too much to drink."

 

There is nothing wrong with dating a woman who is "unable to act responsibly and respectably around male company" when alcohol is involved as long as she knows to avoid such situations.

 

Again, why take that risk?

 

 

 

 

While that's great, it wasn't what I asked.

 

I was saying for you to try to kiss one of your guy friends and see if he would stop you. It's a test that I believe most guys will fail.

 

 

And again, the test is for the girl to hit on the guy and see if he turns you down. A good friend will stop you and say that it's wrong.

 

Why does she have to hit on her male friends to find out if they're "good" guys?

 

Seriously, you have some whacky views on human relationships, but this one is a corker.

[pickflicker]

I'll break it down the most basic levels.

 

Guys want to sleep with their female friends. Even if they don't want to now, they did want to at some point.

 

Men everywhere should be offended at the way you paint your own kind with such broad strokes. And people have the gall to get stuck into bitchy women. Seems it goes both ways.

[fortyninethousand322]

I'll break it down the most basic levels.

 

Guys want to sleep with their female friends. Even if they don't want to now, they did want to at some point.

 

Um...no. You've lost me here.

 

If I'm interested in a woman, I don't stay friends with her. All of my female friends are women I'm not in any way interested in sleeping with.

[pickflicker]

I don't know, let's say you had a male friend that you kind of liked but didn't think he liked you back. You're dating some other guy and your male friend does in fact go in to kiss you and you like him more than the guy you're currently dating.

 

Presto, relationship over. Most likely.

 

No way to stop this really, but it's why some guy might be less willing to date a woman who had a lot of male friends. Especially if that guy didn't have a lot of luck in the romance department himself...

 

Look, if your girl is going to be lured away by a guy, it could happen anywhere, at any time. The point is, you cannot insulate yourself from risk in a relationship. A relationship is pure risk. You either embrace it, or don't date. But you'll have little luck minimising it.

 

Start quarantining your girl from her male friends, and she's likely to dump you anyway for being suspicious and uptight. And bingo, you still end up in the same place.

[oz-missy]

I was saying for you to try to kiss one of your guy friends and see if he would stop you. It's a test that I believe most guys will fail.

 

What you're asking for is entrapment. Devious, underhanded, entrapment.

 

A fastrack to the front of the queue for having a relationship end. Sure, yeah of course I'm going to do something like that. I totally want to jeapordise my relationship as an experiment on the suggestion of someone who is not in a relationship from an online forum

[fortyninethousand322]

Look, if your girl is going to be lured away by a guy, it could happen anywhere, at any time. The point is, you cannot insulate yourself from risk in a relationship. A relationship is pure risk. You either embrace it, or don't date. But you'll have little luck minimising it.

 

Start quarantining your girl from her male friends, and she's likely to dump you anyway for being suspicious and uptight. And bingo, you still end up in the same place.

 

Well, right. I'm not saying I would try to stop anyone from doing anything. You have to do what you have to do.

 

I'm just saying I would be insecure about it. I wouldn't say anything, but inside I would assume that the first chance she got, she'd ditch me. Because, come on, it's me...

[somedude81]

Um...no. You've lost me here.

 

If I'm interested in a woman, I don't stay friends with her. All of my female friends are women I'm not in any way interested in sleeping with.

Really? You've never been interested in sleeping with any of your female friends?

 

Any reason why not?

[oz-missy]

I'll break it down the most basic levels.

 

Guys want to sleep with their female friends. Even if they don't want to now, they did want to at some point.

and how did you come to that conclusion? Did you conduct a scientific poll into the wants and views of all men?

 

Or is it just like 87% of all statistics - made up?

[pickflicker]

Well, right. I'm not saying I would try to stop anyone from doing anything. You have to do what you have to do.

 

I'm just saying I would be insecure about it. I wouldn't say anything, but inside I would assume that the first chance she got, she'd ditch me. Because, come on, it's me...

 

Insecurity will kill a relationship faster than any outside influence. You need to get it under control.

[fortyninethousand322]

Really? You've never been interested in sleeping with any of your female friends?

 

Any reason why not?

 

Because I don't look at them that way.

 

I learned a long time ago that you don't continue to hang around girls you're interested in as "friends". That gets you about as far 10 cents of gas.

 

Girls who are your friends, are your friends. Simple as that.

[fortyninethousand322]

Insecurity will kill a relationship faster than any outside influence. You need to get it under control.

 

That's really never going to happen.

 

I can't imagine a single reason why anyone would want to date a 26 year old man who hadn't even kissed a girl (not to mention my failures at dating unrelated to inexperience). The amount of desperation you would have to have is inconceivable.

 

So yeah, insecurity is pretty much part of who I am...

[somedude81]

Really? You've never been interested in sleeping with any of your female friends?

 

Any reason why not?

Because I don't look at them that way.

 

I learned a long time ago that you don't continue to hang around girls you're interested in as "friends". That gets you about as far 10 cents of gas.

 

Girls who are your friends, are your friends. Simple as that.

Interesting. I wonder if more guys think the way you do.

 

Then again, and I'm not trying to be offensive, you are a virgin. Your mind has yet to be corrupted

[pickflicker]

Interesting. I wonder if more guys think the way you do.

 

Then again, and I'm not trying to be offensive, you are a virgin. Your mind has yet to be corrupted

 

Wow, you are the LAST person who should be lecturing on human experience. You've frequently shown that you don't know the first thing about human interactions.

 

Easy, tiger.

[Hornylildevil]

Do you guys seriously think that girls in relationships sleep with any guy who looks at them? If you were in a relationship, would you sleep with any girl friend who said they were in to you?

 

Probably 9 out of every 10 female friends I've had I would have slept with, given the right circumstances (booze, etc.). Sorry but I think most guys would agree.

[oz-missy]

Then again, and I'm not trying to be offensive, you are a virgin.

 

Why do I have this image of the scene from Clueless where Tai says to Cher: "You're a virgin, who can't drive."

 

Anyways, just because someone has sex doesn't mean they know everything about relationships. Many relationships are based around other things with sex not coming into play (think those who are saving themselves for marriage as an example). So yes, you are being offensive to the other person on this thread, as well as others who are virgins.

 

Just because you shag, doesn't mean you hold the key to the meaning of life...

[somedude81]

Wow, you are the LAST person who should be lecturing on human experience. You've frequently shown that you don't know the first thing about human interactions.

 

Easy, tiger.

I believe I've had enough life experience to give me a point of reference for this topic.

 

Right now I'd like to hear from more guys that have never had the desire to sleep with any of their female friends.

[somedude81]

Why do I have this image of the scene from Clueless where Tai says to Cher: "You're a virgin, who can't drive."

 

Anyways, just because someone has sex doesn't mean they know everything about relationships. Many relationships are based around other things with sex not coming into play (think those who are saving themselves for marriage as an example). So yes, you are being offensive to the other person on this thread, as well as others who are virgins.

 

Just because you shag, doesn't mean you hold the key to the meaning of life...

Once you shag, you look at women differently.

 

At least that how it was for me. Maybe I'm a unique snowflake

[pickflicker]

I believe I've had enough life experience to give me a point of reference for this topic.

 

Right now I'd like to hear from more guys that have never had the desire to sleep with any of their female friends.

 

I have no doubt that many male friends wish to sleep with their female friends. But the issue here is that if a girl has male friends, why must she immediately be deemed untrustworthy? Why must she be patronised as "well, you poor woman, you can't go out drinking with them because they might stick a penis in you."

 

Wanting to shag everything that moves doesn't give you a point of reference. You were mad at your gf spending the day with her male friend because you'd rather be getting laid. True or false?