Why do I allow her to treat me like this? Whys it so hard to end it?

[Amazianmoffa]

Hello,

 

I've been in a relationship for 3,5 years and it's the first girl that I've ever fallen in love with and also the first girlfriend I've had (I'm 20). We are in a long distance relationship atm (about 1700 miles away) and I recently bought a ticket to see her in easter. Ill start by admitting that at the beginning I screwed up and lied to her which I'll always feel guilty about and it took roughly 2 years for us to go back to loving each other. When we are together in real life it is almost perfect - we hardly ever fight and the relationship is passionate and every moment is great. But part of me feels its only this way because I'm with her 24/7 in real life.

 

However in the last few months she has become waayyy too clingy and insecure. I blame this on the fact that shes kind of lost all her friends recently and I'm the only one left who's there for her. I've really tried my best to support her because I understand and I get jealous myself but It's just too much. I literally spend 90% of my free time with her and supporting her insecurities and it just gets worse and worse. She always says "its only this that's bothering me" and when I change it it's something else.

 

Here are some of the new "rules" that I have to follow the last few months:

 

- not allowed to see friends or she will get mad (one exception: saturdays when shes working and not there, if I go out on another day I'm selfish because I couldve gone out on saturday until she gets off work)

- not allowed to work out by myself (doesn't want me to get into good shape because she feels bad about herself - we have to do it together)

- have to text her when I wake up , at school, when I go home and tell her what I'm doing (she got mad at me when I was spending time with my sick mom (cancer, endless lung problems and surgeries) and family during christmas because i didn't text her enough..)

- not allowed to text girls under any circumstances, don't talk to girls and don't make friends with girls. This is a new one and is very frustrating, shes still crying because I wanted to send a snapchat to my friend who's a girl 6 months ago

 

This feels like the most ridiculous relationship ever when I write a summary like this on here but yet it feels totally normal to me, why is it that I accept this? She yells at me almost daily, I recently lost my grandma and she was still arguing about some party I went to 6 months ago because I stayed up too late and didn't text her enough. That stuff is just the tip of the iceberg, if I forget to answer for 5 minutes then I don't love her enough and we fight for a whole day. But when she cries and argues with me and comes up with these ridiculous reasons I totally eat it up and feel like I'm a horrible boyfriend, even though I never argue back, support her through everything and always try to be there for her even though she says things like: "i hate you , don't wanna be with you, you're selfish, horrible boyfriend" and so on.

 

I realize I'm not perfect but these demands she makes are utterly ridiculous and I just accept them. I feel caged but I feel really guilty about thinking about breaking up and posting in this forum. Every time I think about it I think about the good times and our future plans and how it will destroy her and I feel like I could never end it.

 

Shes expecting me to move over to her country next year and while that is something I've almost wanted, with the way shes changed recently I'm not sure if its a risk I'm willing to take. She seems like a different person in real life but when I'm there and have a job and meet people will it really be different? Somehow I doubt it but I can't help but be in love with her.

 

I just feel like I'm obligated to be with her for the rest of my life and I've never been through such a difficult decision as stupid as it sounds. Plus it would destroy her - doesn't seem like she has anyone else and she seems insanely in love with me and she did give me a chance in the past for my screw ups.

 

tl;dr version (sorry)

- 3,5 years in a long term relationship

- girlfriend very clingy and establishes ridiculous rules and controls my life as well as nonstop texting driving me mad

- argue almost daily

- still love her and somehow can't imagine breaking up (why?!)

Edited February 27, 2014 by Amazianmoffa

[legion113]

Better get rid of her, if you think it's going to get better, it's not, it will get worse.