Squirrel123 Posted February 26, 2014 Posted February 26, 2014 Hello, Bf and I have been dating for about 10 months, sex is great and about every other day.. until a few weeks ago. both 25 years old. I have a high sex drive, more so than him. We usually have sex "he calls it making love" with me on top, because he's overweight. Well, I have to initiate it almost everytime. He likes to kiss hard to get going. In bed, he doesn't really touch me which I am not a huge fan of foreplay, but I do it for/to him because he likes it. Well, its been about 5 days since we've been intimate. I know thats not a long time, but he stops our kisses short. I brought it up to him and told him it seemed like he has not wanted to be intimate lately. I expected something like I've been tired. He said I'm sorry, I don't know why. I am a woman, so of course my emotions/thoughts have gone into overdrive. I am trying not to let him know I am upset because I do not want to over-react this soon. I kind of want it to play out, but inside im dying. He said "I dont know if it's some chemical imbalance or what. " Okay, why all of a sudden? I mean 10 months? I cant help but feel like he's loosing attraction for me. When we make love it's amazing, you can feel the passion. I love him, and Im sure he loves me. I see sex as a huge part in our relationship, and I told him that. He said he's never really thought about it. He is naturally a depressed person, and get's easily stressed. Its not new, nothing big that could cause his sex drive to go down. Im worried about the future in this sense. He tried to hold me last night, but i cant help but feel like I need to take some time to process this. I'm hurting and wondering if it is me. It might sound conceited, but after hearing things how do you get over thinking he's not attracted to me? it's just a job? I'm on the fence about talking about it, or letting it ride out.
kscowboy65 Posted February 26, 2014 Posted February 26, 2014 Personally, I think it must be a weight/health issue. I am 48 and could have sex every day of the week. The wife is the same age and is a bit overweight but not obese and she literally keeps me waiting 2-3 weeks at a time before she feels it is time for sex again. It sucks at time believe me.
Gaeta Posted February 26, 2014 Posted February 26, 2014 If he's overweight to the point he can only have sex when you're on top....then yes, his weight and his health are killing his libido. I am certain also that since you started dating 10 months ago he piled more lbs on? it's not uncommon when we meet someone new but in his case he's touched the bottom of the barrel. That would explain why it worked for a while and now it's not. 1
Versacehottie Posted February 26, 2014 Posted February 26, 2014 Between his weight, tendency to get depressed and easily stressed, sweetie, I 100% doubt it's you. I think you are right to be worried about the future. Help him work on his issues to an extent and don't relate it to what's going on in bed. If he feels better about himself, things will probably change for the better. Give him credit for being as open he has been, it must not be easy but it's a good place to start. But it's not you. Good luck 2
Author Squirrel123 Posted February 27, 2014 Author Posted February 27, 2014 Thanks everyone. We did talk a little about it, he said he is sexually attracted to me. I tried to play last night, and he wasn't interested. I mean, I want him. Is it wrong to ask him to touch me if he doesn't want to go all out?
MidwestUSA Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 Thanks everyone. We did talk a little about it, he said he is sexually attracted to me. I tried to play last night, and he wasn't interested. I mean, I want him. Is it wrong to ask him to touch me if he doesn't want to go all out? No. He needs to be touchy even if it's not leading to sex. Is he just not affectionate?
Gaeta Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 Thanks everyone. We did talk a little about it, he said he is sexually attracted to me. I tried to play last night, and he wasn't interested. I mean, I want him. Is it wrong to ask him to touch me if he doesn't want to go all out? So he's attracted toward you but won't have sex? I wonder how that makes sense in his head. At your age you should not have to ask a man to touch you. He should be all over you and demanding more. You are so young why do you accept to live like this? No sex = no relationship. Intimacy is what holds everything together. You and him need a talk, a REAL talk, and he needs to lose weight or this is your future you're looking at.
FitChick Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 When you are fat, male or female, your body produces an excess of estrogen. One reason why fat people have a higher risk of cancer. Hormone imbalance. A man needs more testosterone.
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