If I am his "best friend" then why is he not telling me what's going on in his life??

[BrunetteBabe1005]

This guy friend of mine (Jim) has been distant with me. He helped me out, and always told me how much he loved me, and even got noticeably jealous of other guys. Even at one point saying to a guy that i'm "his girl" when we never dated or anything! He said I am his "best friend" and how much he loves me etc.

 

Well my other guy friend Kevin is a big mouth, and a gossip and he is always trying to set me up on dates and Valentines Day was coming up and I knew Kevin was going to set me up with someone, so to avoid that, I said I was dating someone. He is best friends with Jim, and Kevin is a big mouth, but I still don't know if he told Jim or not, but then weirdly Jim came over my house like 4 days prior to V-day, but he messaged my mom on Facebook and said this "I knocked at your door last night around 6. The car was in the driveway, but I guess nobody was home?" My mom said "Oh I am so sorry, Jim! Nobody was home, Sara (which is me) got the car stuck in the driveway with all that snow, and so Sara left, before her dad came home, cause she didn't want to hear him yell at her, lol! You should have texted or called Sara, and at least you could have waited inside until someone got here"

 

He didn't reply to the message, then later on that day he said he was in a relationship with so and so on Facebook. Out of nowhere he does this, and it's like he didn't call or text to tell me he was coming over. Then on V-day I posted pics of me going out and I was going on a date. He still wasn't talking to me. So my friends have been telling me what's going on in his life, and how bad everything is in his life, so I figured I would text him and see how he is. He replied very fast to my text messages, like within seconds, but he seems short, vague and disinterested. I asked him how he was and he replied with "Good. Just trying to keep busy and get caught up"

 

He is not good! But he's holding back from telling me. He told me his deepest issues before, so why is he holding back from telling me what's really going on in his life? Is it cause he thinks I have a boyfriend? Jealousy? Like I said he has been weirdly distant, and it was ever since I said to my other guy friend Tim, that I am dating someone, but I don't know. I just don't get it, Jim praises me and says i'm his "Best friend" but yet he won't tell me what's going on in his life? Also he took the relationship thing off his facebook. Any opinions? ANy thoughts? Thank you!

[darkmoon]

your best friend is prolly dating somebody, imho, just ask him and see, but, do not expect to control him though, my impression is that you feel a claim on him, not great to do that

[ReinventingMe]

Maybe Jim really truly has feelings for you. He loves being your friend and doesn't want to ruin it, maybe you intimidate him because he likes you so much and he doesn't want to get hurt or lose you so he hides his feelings silently hoping you will notice him and ask him out. Then maybe he finds out from Kevin that you were seeing someone- this is something Jim doesn't know about so he feels you've been keeping secrets and he feels not only like he lost his chance to be with you but that you have betrayed him by keeping him out of the loop.

So now maybe he is hurting badly and is acting busy because he doesn't know how to behave around you.

Idk it just seems that way to me. It happens a lot with guy-girl friendships and its sad.

You can give him time to miss you and for him to hurt less and he will come around or you can make an attempt to face to face let him know you are worried about him and you value his friendship.