luvlost88 Posted February 26, 2014 Posted February 26, 2014 Just a quick question.. we are always taught in life never to give without a fight on what we want, and in the movies people always fight and go through hell to try and get their ex back, heck there are countless love songs out there that practically beg a lost love to come back, yet on these forums and in real life this seems to be the exact opposite of what is advised. Why is it so wrong to fight for the love that dumped you if you feel they may still have love somewhere deep down inside for you?
RDawg Posted February 26, 2014 Posted February 26, 2014 Because it's exhausting. You can't make someone love you. 4
blacknoir Posted February 26, 2014 Posted February 26, 2014 "It was just before sunrise when we started on traditional roles She said, "Sure, I'll be your partner but don't make too many demands" I said, "If love has these conditions I don't understand those songs you love" She said, "This is not a love song, this isn't fantasy land" -Rush "Cold Fire" Wow. Just as I was typing this, the song starting playing randomly.. 1
Kevin_D Posted February 26, 2014 Posted February 26, 2014 Just a quick question.. we are always taught in life never to give without a fight on what we want, and in the movies people always fight and go through hell to try and get their ex back, heck there are countless love songs out there that practically beg a lost love to come back, yet on these forums and in real life this seems to be the exact opposite of what is advised. Why is it so wrong to fight for the love that dumped you if you feel they may still have love somewhere deep down inside for you? Because most of the time, the dumper ends the relationship because he/she is more attracted to someone else. However, if that's the main reason, the dumper will seem as a bad person. So he/she will make up a bunch of lame reasons such as "It feels like I can't give you want you want", "You haven't been very supportive lately" or "You never tell me that I'm pretty anymore". The dumpee is usually stupid enough to believe this crap and tries to convince the dumper that things will be different. However, since these are not the real reasons for the breakup, the dumper won't care the slightest. Let's break this down. The main reason for the breakup is most likely: The dumper is more attracted to other people than his/her current partner What causes loss of attraction? Clingyness, lack of confidence and lack of integrity. When you "fight" for your partner, you'll display all of these "traits", which only convince him/her that he/she made the right decision. If you instead respond to being dumped by saying something like: "I'm sorry to hear that you feel that way. I believe that we could have worked things out, but I respect your decision. I need to focus on myself now, so please don't contact me. I will mail your stuff tomorrow. ...You will instead display attractive traits. You are willing to work on the relationship, you respect her and most importantly, you respect yourself. 2
Chi townD Posted February 26, 2014 Posted February 26, 2014 Just a quick question.. we are always taught in life never to give without a fight on what we want, and in the movies people always fight and go through hell to try and get their ex back, heck there are countless love songs out there that practically beg a lost love to come back, yet on these forums and in real life this seems to be the exact opposite of what is advised. Why is it so wrong to fight for the love that dumped you if you feel they may still have love somewhere deep down inside for you? That's because they're called MOVIES. It's not real. Would you go see a movie about a guy trying to get the girl back, fighting for her, damn near stalking her only for the movie ending to be he gets emotionally and physically gets kicked in the nuts for his efforts? You'd want your money back.
flightplan Posted February 26, 2014 Posted February 26, 2014 Movies are a fantasy about life as we would like it to be and has nothing to do with reality. If you keep fighting for something the other half no longer believes in, then you will succeed in confirming their decision and push them farther and farther away. The tighter you hold a cat, the more it wants to get away. Relationships are the same. Let it go, free it up and let it take it's course.
Zahara Posted February 26, 2014 Posted February 26, 2014 Movies are scripted to provide an audience a happy ending. You can control the events and circumstances to cater to what people want to see and hear. Life isn't quite so. Why is it wrong to fight for someone that dumped you? Well, for one it takes two to fight for a relationship. Secondly, fighting for someone that doesn't want to be with you is an oxymoron. Thirdly, if someone still has love for you, deep down or wherever, they wouldn't leave you and if they do, it's safe to say the love that they have for you just isn't quite enough to keep them from leaving. And when you say, "if you feel they may still have love somewhere deep down inside for you"...it's called projecting. It's what YOU feel and sadly, it doesn't correlate with THEIR actions -- and their actions are showing you how THEY feel. 4
4everalones Posted February 26, 2014 Posted February 26, 2014 The dumper is more attracted to other people than his/her current partner I disagree. There are a million other reasons for the breakup. I broke up with ex boyfriends and was not interested in other people. The breakup happened mainly because of emotional abuse, moving to a different country, loss of job or close family member, etc. I was single for 2 years after I broke up with my ex because of long distance, and was not at all interested in dating someone else. Sometimes, people just want to be alone for a while. They just can't handle a relationship or emotional closeness with someone at the moment. Another example is, one of my ex boyfriends broke up with me because he was losing his job, not getting any new interviews, etc. He was in his thirties, so he developed very low self-esteem, got depressed, and wanted to be left alone. Three years later, he was still single and still working on himself and building his career.
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