wergotproblems Posted February 26, 2014 Posted February 26, 2014 So I dated this girl for 3 years+ (we took a few months off in between). Due to some problems with us staying stagnant and not going anywhere, we decided to break it off. I was okay with our breakup, since I thought it was a time for us to discover ourselves and improve ourselves before we decided to try again or go into another relationship. Well in between that time, she used the time to party and get drunk every week, while I quit my old job and used my time to try to improve myself. And during this time we were talking every day and hooking up every weekend. Then about a month ago, she completely stopped. She wanted no contact from me: no talk, no text, the works. I suspected that she was interested in another guy. Her being a people pleaser, strongly denied all my accusations (which is probably normal). Well, like a week or 2 later, I found out from a friend that was dating another guy. By that time I was devastated. I couldn't sleep, eat, you name it. I was so buried in sorrow and crap, that nothing could help me. I broke every single rule: stalked her on facebook, hacked her e-mail (twice), called and texted her non-stop, etc. Eventually, I decided enough was enough, so I took to the forums and looked up the best solution to deal with this. I finally decided that No Contact was my best option. I'll be honest with you guys. It worked when I let it work for me. I was doing fine for about a week, until I had to see her again at a club (because it was 4 of my friends' bdays, not including hers). It was also supposed to be our 4th anniversary (crazy, right?). Anyways, she was drunk when I finally saw her later that night. At first, she tried to ignore me. Eventually, she held her hand out to try to dance with me (on several occasions). I acted nice and pretended to dance with her. I asked her later if I could have a cigarette from her. She insisted on going with me outside (and while all this is happening, her new boyfriend is upstairs). When we step outside, she starts crying. She confesses to me that she still loves me. I told her that she was the one that moved on and there was nothing we could do. Add that to the list of random b.s. that we talked about (pointless because she doesn't remember any of it anyways). Later that night, I made the wrong decision to text her "last chance." The next day, she texted me back, asking me what I meant by that. I just never responded. For about a week (up until yesterday), I did not contact or respond to her. She kept texting me and messaging me on facebook. Some were just random thoughts or songs, others were her "yelling" at me and cussing at me for no apparent reason. She sent me one text that guilt-tripped me into texting her back. So we ended up texting each other last night and today. At first, I was trying to act stoic and just be non-chalant about everything. At one point, she texted me that she could not give her heart to her new bf because she was still in love with me. I then proceeded to give her advice on it, telling her that she would have to talk to him about that. I'll just cut to the chase. I basically told her to choose between me and him. She kept sending me smiley faces and giving me false hope. For example, I said "I hope that soon you will be at my door with your arms open to me." She responded "Hopefully." All her responses have been maybe or hopefully. I really hate that. I will probably go back to no contact. What do you guys think?
pickflicker Posted February 26, 2014 Posted February 26, 2014 Yes. You should have gone NC from the beginning. Instead, you're sending soppy texts and giving her the upper hand/ego stroke. Why should she work for it when you give it to her for free? "Last chance"? No. In or out. The second they make the decision to walk away from you, it's done. 1
Author wergotproblems Posted February 26, 2014 Author Posted February 26, 2014 you're right. I'm done. No contact. Work on myself. That's it. Thanks.
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