Just got back from Ukraine to see my girl...I am in shock.

[faithfully]

Money grabbing bitch.

 

Get rid and never contact again. Was reading n shaking my head.

 

 

Pffft

[justshocked1]

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone for the replies. Helps with my recovery.

[oracle]

You fell in love ... online. :/

 

You are and adult right?

 

Online relationships are fantasies inside your head.

 

Live with someone for a few years. Thats a relationship.

 

Please learn from this.

 

Invest in people within an hour drive of you at the most!

[David87]

Tip for future relationships, find a girl that you can se every day. She used you because she wants to get to Australia. It's just another classic case of gold digging bi**h. Cut her off and don't ever look back.

[Heroeric]

One thing that really stood out to me was when you mentioned the dating profile. I can guarantee her friends didn't set them up, I mean this isn't grade school. I really hate to say it, but you were in fact being used. She wanted to get out, she wanted to go to Australia for listed reasons above, but why live poor? And that's exactly where the money comes in. Sure, you feel you didn't do too good a job yourself, I'm feeling that about my last relationship, and to be honest maybe there are things you can learn from this in bettering yourself, but also remember this, that she pushed you to respond and act the way you did. If she would have been more supportive, more loving and generally caring, you would have had much more incentive to be loving back. But you can only return what they give you, which means if they aren't gonna give you the world in an emotional sense, naturally your not gonna give them the time of day either. Dont put yourself down, you seen like a great guy and you know what, health comes first. If she TRULY cared, she would have been much more understanding about the health issues.

[Chi townD]

Dude, you were a ticket to get out of the Ukraine. In fact, she proved to you that ANY man would do. Any man from any other country other than the Ukraine.

 

 

And do you know what would have happened if you stayed with this girl? You would have brought her back to Australia and she would insist that you end up marrying her because she'll tell you about some crap about shacking up with a guy unmarried is against her religion or something like that. Then, she would have convinced you to buy a house well above your means. But, she'll convince you that it's needed in order to start a family. She would have a kid by you. Then, she would say that she misses her family terribly and the next thing you know, YOU'LL be sponsoring her family to come to Australia.

 

 

Once they arrive, you would be gone. Kicked to the curb and she gets to keep the house because she'll need a place to raise your child while you still have to make the mortgage payments on it all the while you would be living in a studio flat. Paying her alimony and child support leaving you nothing at the end of the month.

 

 

Dude, you dodged a bullet. Count your lucky stars. Because this is what's going to happen to some poor sap.

[organizedchaos]

OP, don't EVER be that desperate for a woman again.

[pteromom]

I agree with the others. She was just using you as a money source and a potential escape from Ukraine.

 

And of course she told you she wanted to marry you and have your children. How else would she get you to give her money? If she told you that she has no feelings for you but she wants your money, you would run away.

 

You have to pay attention to her actions, not her words. Her actions show that there is only one thing she wants from you. Money.

 

I can't even imagine taking $500 from a guy who traveled across the world to see me. Taking cash then sleeping with you makes her a ... well, you know what it makes her. She slept with you to further hook you so she could keep trying to get money from you.

 

Don't go see her again. Don't send her any more money. Tell her you are having financial problems and see how quickly she disappears.

 

You can do better than this. Find someone who really cares about you.

 

And get tested for STDs.

[BDL]

I read the first post and thought it was a joke post. Seriously.

 

Unbelievable any guy could be this desperate, needy and weak. Sorry, OP, you really need to look inwards and deal with your lack of confidence and self-esteem and figure out a plan of action to deal with your issues. There are lots of resources online and videos on self-improvement and general dating advice.

[Own Worst Enemy]

all you need to do is re-read what you have written. then think what you would say to a friend who was telling you that story.

 

the nice stuff was all just a hook. this girl wants a better life, and she thinks Australia will provide it. you were a means to an end. ouch, a major life lesson, but ultimately you didn't just dodge a bullet here, you dodged an entire freakin' cavalry charge.

[carhill]

OP, dealt with this 15-20 years ago.... one tip, which might help you recover and to provide perspective should you choose to return again: Google 'russian women discussion' and spend some time reading, especially trip reports. Some of mine are in there, though not under this username.

 

You appear to be the classic WOVO (write one, visit one) who unfortunately hooked up with a person likely not interested in a healthy interpersonal relationship. The good news is that there are millions of people in Ukraine and the CIS and not all of them are like this.

 

Last tip: If is seems too good to be true, it probably is too good to be true. During my in-country trips over those years, I met both women I had corresponded with as well as women on the street. Apartments were cheap to rent (still are from locals) and one can now travel there without a specific visa and registering with OVIR so it's easy to move around. What I did was hire a driver and he bird-dogged the ladies for me. One of the drivers was evidently 'connected' and handled some police interactions for me smoothly and without incident. Get around.

 

Sounds like you have a great job at the mines so IMO grow that, get healthy and see how things go. Good luck!

[MarkEPlain]

For the most part. She seems legit.

So she wants to have the best home possible for herself and her family. Ummm. That kind of sounds like any woman to me so far. To do this she plays the field looking for a guy she really likes that also has as much $ as possible. Anybody see anything so far that is not common for girls in every country? The majority of what you are saying about her actions looks pretty normal. There are a couple things that strike me as odd. But this can easily be written off as culture clash.

The eastern european countries do things the old way. The rules are a 1000 years old. Backwards. And nearly impossible for us westerners to understand.

Your relationship with her is probably toast. You might be better off for it. But if you want it back. You have to do what she asked. Have a good paying job and take her home with you. That is your call and up to your heart to decide. Not sure if she will stay or not. That could depend on how you treat her. And by the sounds of things she expects some princess treatment. If you can't give it. Best to walk away.

I have been to the Ukraine in 2004 and 2005 frequently for the same girl. I found out after being engaged that she was all about $. For her our relationship was learn to love. This is not uncommon for girls from there to be in that position. I broke off relations because I realized that there was no real love there. For a long time I did not want anybody. I absorbed myself in my work. The result. I got promoted several times and make nearly triple now what I used to. For some time I been in communication with another girl from Ukraine. This time I have paid much more attention to the person rather then the picture. She is my kind of person. She knows nothing of my financial position. In fact I have lied a little about that causing her to believe that I am not so well off. And yet she stays and talks. We talk on Skype frequently. She expects nice gifts at christmas and on birthdays, as most women do. Perhaps this time it works. But I am prepared if it does not.

[denxnis]

I think you have your priorities backwards.

 

(1) Get your financials in-order

(2) Get your health together

(3) After your life is more stable THEN go find yourself a girlfriend, not the other way around.