Just got back from Ukraine to see my girl...I am in shock.

February 26, 2014

Hello everyone.

I dont know where to start with this story....I am just in a confused hurt mess. I would appreciate if anyone can give me some advice.

I have been talking to a girl from Ukraine for over 1 year now. We fell in love and we wanted to plan a future together. We spoke every single day and our communication was good.

Unfortunetly we did have some rough patches along the way. I have been through a lot with this girl but I have stuck by her.

I caught her on some dating sites but she denied it was her but her friend using her profile and information instead. I don't believe it but I still pursued the relationship..

the whole year we had been talking, I suffered thought some sever health issues. My testosterone was almost at 0 so I was bed ridden for a while. I need to get hormone treatment in order for me to get better. It didn't do much for me but I pushed on. I then suffered though gout disease on my ankle and that almost lasted a year. My mother was not well so she had to move in with me so I also had to support her. we had planned to meet several times in that year but it was difficult to get the funds.

It was difficult, but I pushed my self to go to work, save as much money as I could for my ticket which cost me $2000. Pay for my Visa and passport to go see her. I just had enough money to go see her. She was impatient, always asking me when I am coming, and when I could not make it those several times I had to cancel she would be cold and we would argue for months!.

so I found a decent job at Mercedes-Benz and worked to save money. It was hard to save though because I had to look after mum, pay rent and buy food all on my own.

I was afraid I would lose this girl so I had to leave my job to go see her. I could only bring $500 with me to Ukraine, and thats all I could save at the time. I thought the main thing is that we met and I would stay at her place. We were crazy in love so I thought she would be happy...

so I made my trip to Ukraine, Health issues and all. And that is when everything went down hill...

I gave her my $400 bracelet. Gave her the perfume I bought for her, Gave her some clothes and gifts from Australia. and I also gave her my $500 to show my support. 2 days later I got very sick with a degree temperature. She was nice enough to look after me and she did support me through that and I was very grateful. and she did buy me a bottle of perfume for my bday.

She started getting cold with me. and she lost it. She said to me that I treat her like crap and I do not truly love her. I asked her what she was talking about! and she said I had a whole year to save money and get a good future and all I could get together is $500 to give her. We did not have enough money to go out or for me to spoil her like she wanted me to. She said I am used to my beloved man to spoil me, take me out show me that he loves me! but instead here you are in my house and I have to support you and do everything! you do not treat a woman like that!.

I was in shock, and I felt bad, like it was all my fault. I explained to her my situtation at home and how it was difficult to save money to come see her, but I made the effort to come see her! and that meant nothing to her, She said " big deal, $2000 is not a lot of money to save in a year! you have done nothing for me! all men come to Ukraine to meet woman so you are not the only one!"

I did not know what else to say. I loved this girl, I tried showing her affection and my support. I met her lovely parents and brother and asked for their blessing for my marry her and look after her.

we made love, and had a decent time but she was not her self the whole 2 weeks I was there. At the airport she was cold and did not show much affection when she said goodbye.

the last thing she said to me before I left is " you have a chance to repair everything when you go back home. Everything is in your hands now if you want to be with me. If you truly love me you will prove it to me by getting a good job and bringing me to Australia.

I promised her I would do all I could when I get back home to find a better job and improve my self for her.

I arrived back home, feeling jet lagged and awful. As soon as I got home she started sending me msgs every day if I have sorted things out with work. I asked her if she could give me just a week to recoup and I would get straight into it. She went very cold, hardly responded to my messages and was not affectionate at all...

so 1 week later I get a facebook msg from some stranger. He told me that your girlfriend is not loyal because she wanted to meet up with me, she exchanged numbers and she said she was not serious with me. He pasted the whole conversation..

I was so angry! I called her and I may have called her some names I regret but I was hurt. she tried to justify her cheating on me, infarct she did not think she did not do anything wrong at all.

She said that she did not love me any more because I did not treat her well, I do not value her or I did not put in effort to come to Ukraine with more money and she said she didn't feel like I was a partner when I was with her for 2 weeks. She said she did not deserve that and It was evil of me to do that. She said if she can see me gain something in life then she will talk to me again, until then she will look for other men. She wants to get out of Ukraine this year she said...so I was unable to do it

so...I am in shock. I know it may not sound like it..but I put in so much effort into this relationship. I end up getting a great job at the mines earning 260k a year, I went to the doctors to improve my health. And I did this all for my self and for our relationship. But she thinks its all empty words and no proof.

she said all her friends and family are disgusted in me, they have all blocked me from facebook.

have I really stuffed up guys? am I the one in the wrong??

any advice is appreciated

thank you so much for reading.

February 26, 2014

She only cares about how much money you can give her.

February 26, 2014

Also I have to add. She did look after me and fed me while I was there. Maybe this is why I feel so bad, because I did not contribute much. Like she said, She fell out of love with me because she felt like she did not have a partner to support her while I was there..

February 26, 2014

Honestly it looks like you've either been the victim of a half-assed scam artist or you just happened to stumbled upon one of the many thousands of unstable women on the internet. While either could be the case, I believe the former to be most likely. I have little doubt she was receiving money and "gifts" from multiple men throughout your "relationship", and all from men whom, like you, believed you were her"only".

Whatever the case, this girl showed her true nature several times but you decided to keep your blinders on because you felt you were 'in love'. I don't believe you're necessarily the one 'in the wrong' as I don't believe she ever loved you to begin with. What I mean by that is, her cold behavior, infidelity and change in attitude toward you aren't due to anything you did in particular.

You made a tremendous amount of mistakes and unfortunately (I believe) you got taken. I'm going to assume this woman was very attractive, to say the least and your desire to be with her and build a life with her far outweighed your common sense.

February 26, 2014

Hey hon, she just wants to come to Australia. Immediately cut off all contact with her.

When it comes to meeting someone online, don't go to their country just to meet them. Go to the country because you want to have a holiday, have plans and accomodation booked, and ask them to join you. Don't rely on them for accomodation, meals, funds, anything. If you hit it off with them - awesome. If you don't, you've still booked a great trip and you've looked after yourself.

I'm sorry this happened to you. But you are well-placed to not fall for it again.

February 26, 2014

I see a lot of RED flags there. I had and ignored them in the past only to regret it and suffer.

Take a LOT of time to evaluate your situation, bro. If you don't, your emotions will cloud your better judgement. You're putting in a lot of effort that might not lead to your expectations. How will you handle it if it doesn't go your way?

You'll be doing yourself a big favor if you sit back for a bit and look at it from a different angle. I feel your dilemma but don't dig a hole for yourself.

I wish you luck.

February 26, 2014

Hey hon, she just wants to come to Australia. Immediately cut off all contact with her.

When it comes to meeting someone online, don't go to their country just to meet them. Go to the country because you want to have a holiday, have plans and accomodation booked, and ask them to join you. Don't rely on them for accomodation, meals, funds, anything. If you hit it off with them - awesome. If you don't, you've still booked a great trip and you've looked after yourself.

I'm sorry this happened to you. But you are well-placed to not fall for it again.

Thank you so much. So was it wrong of me to expect her to support me while I was there? she wanted me to stay with her. But like she said, I should of been more prepared and I had a whole year.

she is now talking to other men

February 26, 2014

She wants to come to Australia as Ukraine is in political turmoil and the situation won't be getting better anytime soon. She is using you for money and to come it Australia. Please cut all contact. She is a user. This was cruel of her.

She talks to other men because that is how she gets her money. This is a scam.

February 26, 2014

Classic gold-digger...

Write her off and move on. She doesn't want anything from you other than a ticket out of the Ukraine and you aren't rich enough to give it to her.

You are better off finding out now.

February 26, 2014

Keenly pointed out her interests in you. The others are right too.

You really should just plan these things like a vacation. Less harm would come your way, if things went sour. You would naturally make sure that you've enough money for a vacation trip somewhere.

Never rush to see someone and give up a good job. If they cannot wait, then it was never meant to be. Love is in patience. It doesn't matter that she took care of you. Her other problems out weigh any good that she has done. She intended to use you for money. Mock you when you did not have enough; most likely did the same on to other guys on a dating website. What a lie she told you: Not her friend, her.

You gave up a lot, to be used. I realize that you hurt over this, but you need to look at yourself. Where you are at now. Try to fix your own problems first, then focus on finding another girl, a closer girl at that. Definitely do not keep tabs on this evil girl. Doesn't matter what she does. Why? Well, it only matters now, what you do with yourself.

Easy to give up under This pressure, and fold. But you really have been freed here, albeit, at a cost, to go and fix your own personal problems. Do that. Be brave. Work on yourself, find a better happiness: Not something that wants your hard earned money.

February 26, 2014

Did she have sexual intercourse with you?

February 26, 2014

Did she have sexual intercourse with you?

Yes of course. we made love almost every night.

February 26, 2014

Keenly pointed out her interests in you. The others are right too.

You really should just plan these things like a vacation. Less harm would come your way, if things went sour. You would naturally make sure that you've enough money for a vacation trip somewhere.

Never rush to see someone and give up a good job. If they cannot wait, then it was never meant to be. Love is in patience. It doesn't matter that she took care of you. Her other problems out weigh any good that she has done. She intended to use you for money. Mock you when you did not have enough; most likely did the same on to other guys on a dating website. What a lie she told you: Not her friend, her.

You gave up a lot, to be used. I realize that you hurt over this, but you need to look at yourself. Where you are at now. Try to fix your own problems first, then focus on finding another girl, a closer girl at that. Definitely do not keep tabs on this evil girl. Doesn't matter what she does. Why? Well, it only matters now, what you do with yourself.

Easy to give up under This pressure, and fold. But you really have been freed here, albeit, at a cost, to go and fix your own personal problems. Do that. Be brave. Work on yourself, find a better happiness: Not something that wants your hard earned money.

That helped me so much reading this. Thank you!

February 26, 2014

seems to be a ****in gold digger.

February 26, 2014

Thank you so much. So was it wrong of me to expect her to support me while I was there? she wanted me to stay with her. But like she said, I should of been more prepared and I had a whole year.

she is now talking to other men

It was wrong of you to have such a poorly planned trip. Never be pressured to go OS to meet someone if you don't have the funds. They'll either wait for you, or they won't. It can't be helped now. She's made it abundantly clear that she is only talking to men to get herself out of Ukraine. The second she hooks one that brings her out to Australia, she'll dump him.

Next time, a bit more planning. It's fine to hook up with someone you met online in another country, but don't make that the sole purpose of your trip. Book a tour, take a friend, have plans made, so if you meet them and it goes to pot, it's no loss - you're still sorted for the time you are there.

February 26, 2014

she's a ****in gold digger. dump this girl now, she's just making fun.

February 26, 2014

Con artist...she is probably a prostitute who lures men from developed countries to her to get money. Her weapon to make you think she cares and to keep you on the hook for future monies and a place to stay in Australia is sex. You met her on the internet....

February 26, 2014

That helped me so much reading this. Thank you!

You are welcome...I am always delighted to help, when I can.

As others are saying, she is a gold digger. You deserve better. Lick your wounds up from this. Use the experience gained and be cautious of who you meet online. Now is the time, work on you, focus on you, and be strong for you alone. Then get back into the dating game.

February 26, 2014

I just have to add. She is a doctor in Ukraine and wants a better future in Australia. So yes, its obvious she wants to get out of Ukraine. She even said to me " you think I use you to get out of Ukraine, yes? maybe that is slightly true, I am using you to get to Australia but I want a family and kids with you"

btw she wanted me to get her pregnant while I was in Ukraine with her. But I refused.

February 26, 2014

I just have to add. She is a doctor in Ukraine and wants a better future in Australia. So yes, its obvious she wants to get out of Ukraine. She even said to me " you think I use you to get out of Ukraine, yes? maybe that is slightly true, I am using you to get to Australia but I want a family and kids with you"

btw she wanted me to get her pregnant while I was in Ukraine with her. But I refused.

This is part of the scam...so textbook. Please read up on internet green card scams or romantic scams.

February 26, 2014

I have a friend from the Ukraine. She looks like a model and is a doctor. She said if her son ever told her he fell in love with a woman from her homeland she'd lock him up in a room and cut off all internet access until he gave up. She has a very low opinion of people from her own homeland because of the gold-digging. It's a miserable place with people desperate to get out. The woman you pursued had no empathy for your poor health and no admiration for how hard you worked to get there. Not to mention no real appreciation for what you gave, or how much you sacrificed to get there. Why is it both of you focused on the gifts and the financial rewards? Spending money you shouldn't on gifts is no way to live a successful, happy life. Maybe she was pretty, or talked a good romantic game but she is also cruel. That is no love match. Stay far, far away.

What makes me sad is that you think that kind of treatment is in any way acceptable, it just isn't. Please go into counseling, read books, do whatever it takes to raise your expectations of how others treat you.

I met my husband online but I had a few critical rules. If they couldn't meet me for dinner after work, they lived too far away to even write letters. No long distance, no more than 2 emails before meeting. Why? It takes REAL LIFE to get to know someone and to catch the 'uh ohs' before your feelings and hormones get you trapped with the wrong person. You fell in love with a fantasy. Don't ever do that to yourself again.

Be grateful she's checking out other men. Let her. Their loss, your gain. Then check out women in your own area and develop real relationships based on mutual respect and appreciation. That's a love match!

Edited February 26, 2014 by VeronicaRoss

February 26, 2014

Hehe. I get emails from these women all the time (because I'm a member on a few dating sites).

They send me some rather nice pictures of themselves and use Google Translate to translate the email. It often reads like this:

Hello handsome!

My name is Olga and I really like your profile. You seem very intelligent and kind. Do you like my pictures? Please write me back!

xoxo Olga

I've never responded.

February 26, 2014

Hehe. I get emails from these women all the time (because I'm a member on a few dating sites).

They send me some rather nice pictures of themselves and use Google Translate to translate the email. It often reads like this:

Hello handsome!
My name is Olga and I really like your profile. You seem very intelligent and kind. Do you like my pictures? Please write me back!

xoxo Olga

I've never responded.

Why not? You want to keep your cash and dignity or something?

February 26, 2014

Hehe. I get emails from these women all the time (because I'm a member on a few dating sites).

They send me some rather nice pictures of themselves and use Google Translate to translate the email. It often reads like this:

Hello handsome!
My name is Olga and I really like your profile. You seem very intelligent and kind. Do you like my pictures? Please write me back!

xoxo Olga

I've never responded.

Heck, I get those EXACT same messages...

And I'm not a member on a few dating sites!

And - in fact - I'm a woman! :rolleyes:

February 26, 2014

Heck, I get those EXACT same messages...

And I'm not a member on a few dating sites!

And - in fact - I'm a woman! :rolleyes:

Yeah, I'm pretty sure most of those emails are spam. But I suspect that some of the come from the dating site.

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Just got back from Ukraine to see my girl...I am in shock.

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