allikowski Posted February 26, 2014 Share Posted February 26, 2014 I went no contact for 3 weeks and he messaged that he missed me and wanted to be friends. He then told me how lonely he was but it was easier for him to be single for now and enjoy himself. Now I'm not stupid I know the only reason he talked to me was because he felt lonely and needed his fix and I knew he would ignore me again. But being the away I am I talked to him all night. Well it was after a day of no talking that I messaged him the next night. No reply and no reply today either even though he is online. So once again I'm crying and feeling very desperate. I'm not going to message him again because I don't want to seem needy. I really want him back though. I don't know why I keep doing this to myself I feel so lost and confused. :,( Link to post Share on other sites
Lucretius Posted February 26, 2014 Share Posted February 26, 2014 Do you think you deserve this? Do you honestly believe this sort of behaviour is acceptable? He is playing with your emotions and is no more than a low life scumbag. The next time he contacts you act as if you really couldn't care less, tell him you're busy and that you have met someone else. Then put the phone down and cry all you like but keep strong because this sucker needs kicking right into touch! And you can do this, and have to do this, because you deserve way better than him x 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author allikowski Posted February 26, 2014 Author Share Posted February 26, 2014 Thanks I'll try I just feel so hurt but I know it's my fault for replying to him. :,( Link to post Share on other sites
SCJACK Posted February 26, 2014 Share Posted February 26, 2014 It's okay.. we all make mistakes. I've broke NC several times and I didn't even get a breadcrumb... Link to post Share on other sites
Lucretius Posted February 26, 2014 Share Posted February 26, 2014 (edited) Try not to worry, i'm going through exactly the same thing. Keep strong!!! [COLOR=#008000][FONT=Comic Sans MS]"It's better to be with no one than to be with the wrong one."[/FONT][/COLOR] Edited February 26, 2014 by Lucretius Link to post Share on other sites
Author allikowski Posted February 26, 2014 Author Share Posted February 26, 2014 Is it stupid of me to still have feelings for him and want him back :,( how is someone cruel enough to do that? When he message me he told me he doesn't deserve me and that he misses me a lot so naturally I responded telling him I would wait for him and thy I missed him to. Then after that he just kind of said the whole friends thing and is now ignoring me. When we talked he also asked sexual questions and I told him I wasn't comfortable with that since we weren't dating and he said he understood he was nice about it but still. I feel really used and angry by I still have feelings for the idiot :,( Link to post Share on other sites
Lucretius Posted February 26, 2014 Share Posted February 26, 2014 "Treat them mean, keep them keen". That is the motto he is using and you need to recognise it. It's a form of control he has over you, a form of bullying if you like. He can see how he manipulates you and to him it is a game. A sick game at that and probably comes down to immaturity, he is chasing you for sex but not giving a dam about anything else, including your feelings! Only you can put a stop to it but you really need to sit down and ask yourself a question. Do you really think you deserve to be treated like this? Only you know the answer to that question i'm afraid!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author allikowski Posted February 26, 2014 Author Share Posted February 26, 2014 The worse part is I know he's talking to another girl :,( Link to post Share on other sites
Author allikowski Posted February 26, 2014 Author Share Posted February 26, 2014 I know I don't deserve this it still hurts a lot though I think ill just ignore him if he ever messages me again I feel like I'm his backup plan if it fails with the other girl :,( Link to post Share on other sites
Shim_kattty Posted February 26, 2014 Share Posted February 26, 2014 I know how you feel. In July this will be year number 2 breaking up with my fiancé & do you know it took him telling me last month that he had to ask his gf's permission for me to come see his mom for me to flip **** & snap to the reality that he's a using low life, jealous, conniving, manipulative bastard who I REFUSE to associate with any longer so I cut him off. I cut him, his mom & his sister off. I don't want anything to do with his existence & I meant business. Oh it feels so good too hun. I hope you get to that point sooner than I did because i sort of let things happen so long that I lost myself & my joy. Don't do this to yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author allikowski Posted February 26, 2014 Author Share Posted February 26, 2014 I'm trying I just it makes me mad that he made me feel bad for him saying he was lonely, depressed, that he pushes everyone away, isolates himself and that he doesn't deserve me. He kept telling me how he wants to leave this town and that everyone is terrible. I got annoyed because I'm thinking HELlO IM HERE AND I CARE ugh it frustrates me so much he was honest with me though and told me he doesn't know what he wants. Ugh why do I still feel bad for him Link to post Share on other sites
wergotproblems Posted February 26, 2014 Share Posted February 26, 2014 my ex gf was the same way. she just did it again yesterday and today, giving me false hope. AND she has a new boyfriend. i am hoping to get through no contact and work on myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Conners Posted February 26, 2014 Share Posted February 26, 2014 I'm trying I just it makes me mad that he made me feel bad for him saying he was lonely, depressed, that he pushes everyone away, isolates himself and that he doesn't deserve me. He kept telling me how he wants to leave this town and that everyone is terrible. I got annoyed because I'm thinking HELlO IM HERE AND I CARE ugh it frustrates me so much he was honest with me though and told me he doesn't know what he wants. Ugh why do I still feel bad for him Do not feel bad for this idiot. If he wanted to be with you he would. If you know he's talking to another girl why bother.. he is just keeping yhou on the back burner for a root! You know you deserve better and you deserve someone who won't make you feel this way. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author allikowski Posted February 26, 2014 Author Share Posted February 26, 2014 It makes no sense to me why someone one would even do this to another! Why did he vent to me like crazy then not respond when I messages him two days later ugh my feelings are so conflicted. I'm a nice person so I tend to forgive to easily! He was never like this during our relationship or before. Does anyone know when these feelings will go away? I do feel better every time I talk about it on here. The support has been great. Link to post Share on other sites
OpheliaSong Posted February 26, 2014 Share Posted February 26, 2014 Block him and do everything in your power to ignore and forget. He is toying with you for his ego. No more letting him live rent free in your noggin. Link to post Share on other sites
kpkballer Posted February 26, 2014 Share Posted February 26, 2014 When i was in love with a girl a few years ago. we broke up and i would get calls from her about once a week. Telling me she loved me and Missed me. 3 weeks later i found out that she was talking to someone basically the day after we broke up. Once i found out she was seeing someone else. i knew where i stood with her. She is a distant memory with not one regret. If he can play with your heart while he is seeing someone else youve got a slimeball on your hands. This is coming from a man (myself) Who had done that to woman When i was younger. You should Never be 2nd to ANYONE. NEVER allow any man to make you break down and cry. He left you for a bs excuse 1 Link to post Share on other sites
tlegend Posted February 26, 2014 Share Posted February 26, 2014 I'm trying I just it makes me mad that he made me feel bad for him saying he was lonely, depressed, that he pushes everyone away, isolates himself and that he doesn't deserve me. He kept telling me how he wants to leave this town and that everyone is terrible. I got annoyed because I'm thinking HELlO IM HERE AND I CARE ugh it frustrates me so much he was honest with me though and told me he doesn't know what he wants. Ugh why do I still feel bad for him All of those should have been warning flags. I went through something very similar where the woman was telling me the same exact things. These people are broken. Noone likes them because they are unlikable. They want to move for a "fresh start", but they don't realize that changing the location will do nothing for their issues. Their issues lie within themselves. She was also dating behind my back after telling me we were exclusive. These people have some deep seeded issues and isolate themselves because they don't know how to function in society. Distance yourself and find someone who isn't broken. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Minneloa Posted February 26, 2014 Share Posted February 26, 2014 Block him and do everything in your power to ignore and forget. He is toying with you for his ego. No more letting him live rent free in your noggin. I second this: block him! Retake your control of the situation, and step off emotional roller coaster of interacting with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author allikowski Posted February 27, 2014 Author Share Posted February 27, 2014 I think I will he is always so confused and lost on what to do. When we talked I gave him solutions on the way he was feeling and he told me he didn't want an answer he just wanted to talk. I think I just get emotional all of the sudden and miss him, but after it passes away I know he isn't right for me at this moment. I feel bad for the next girl he dates, I put up with a lot of things most girls wouldn't. I miss him but I have no desire to talk to him anymore. The more he pulls stuff like this the more I feel disinterested. Link to post Share on other sites
Author allikowski Posted February 27, 2014 Author Share Posted February 27, 2014 ha and I just found out the girl he is interested in is actually interested in someone else and turned him down so I don't know it just made me laugh 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author allikowski Posted March 4, 2014 Author Share Posted March 4, 2014 So he contacted me again on Sunday telling me how amazing and perfect I am inside and out so I replied that I know he's trying to be nice and that I thank him for that but he broke up with me so he shouldn't be telling me those things and then no reply again I really don't care but I'm irritated by him I want to talk to him but I'm tired of him popping into my life when it's convenient for him I still have feelings for him but I won't be used by him anyone I have no plans on actually conversing with him unless he's actually serious about working things out Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 Stop replying to him. I sound like a broken record, but it's because you keep doing the same damn thing every time. At what point will you just stop? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted March 5, 2014 Share Posted March 5, 2014 then no reply again I really don't care but I'm irritated by him I want to talk to him but I'm tired of him popping into my life when it's convenient for him I still have feelings for him but I won't be used by him anyone I have no plans on actually conversing with him unless he's actually serious about working things out Same thing over and over again. Stop complaining about being tired. Either you go NC or you keep yourself open and available to his behavior. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted March 5, 2014 Share Posted March 5, 2014 My mom told me something that really stuck with my while I was staying LC with my ex. I was explaining how I was scared to go NC because I would loose the memories and eventually forget. She asked me, "How does holding on and staying in contact help you?" I could only answer that it didn't help me, and I realized that I needed to start looking out for myself at that point. Up until that point, I had been doing a terrible job of taking care of my emotional well being. You can take control and go NC. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author allikowski Posted March 5, 2014 Author Share Posted March 5, 2014 I know I keep doing this that's why I said I don't know why I keep doing it I feel annoyed with myself I blocked him finally though because I keep doing this over and over again .-. Link to post Share on other sites
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